You can dress yourself happy!

People know me as a fashion editor who spent 20 years working on the UK's biggest-selling newspapers and magazines.

But I'm also a perimenopausal mum, trying to juggle two pre-teen children, a busy career and the devastation of watching dementia steal my father.

So I know that sometimes when a major life change is going on, or simply when you feel as though you're just treading water, it's easy to lose sight of who you are, and you feel like you'd quite happily fade into the background and wear a bin bag.

Even if you've managed to work out your basic fashion style, as we go through our lives, our situations, finances and bodies will change. Our wardrobes cannot be all things to us all of the time — sometimes we just need to press 'Ctrl-Alt-Delete' and give ourselves a reboot. Because clothes can be joyful and inspiring. They can be a way to set intentions for your daily mood, to make you feel more in control, to find sparkle in even the darkest moments, and a way reconnect with your self-confidence during difficult — or different — times.

So whether you're broken-hearted, struggling with hot flushes or weight gain, feel like your wardrobe needs defrumping, or want to look sensational at your best friend's birthday party, here are my tips for helping you look, and feel, fabulous.

• Adapted from Style Chapters by Erica Davies, published by Hodder & Stoughton on July 13 at £25. © Erica Davies 2023. To order a copy for £22.50 (valid to July 24, 2023; UK p&p free on orders over £25) go to mailshop.co.uk/books or call 020 3176 2937.

STYLE OUT A BREAK-UP

Pink blouse, £48, and wide-leg culottes, £55, cos.com; shoes, £195, camillaelphick.com; earrings, £27, boden.co.uk

Often, it's easier to rely on a uniform during turbulent times of your life — something repetitive, easy to combine and comfortable. Comfort is key, so think about textures and fabrics that will envelop you in a sartorial hug.

Oversized cashmere jumpers, leggings, wide leg jersey trousers and lounge trousers with elasticated waists are all good options, as are basic white T-shirts, wide strap vests, silky tops and white shirts.

As time goes on, reflecting on your identity and what that looks like through your clothes can be one of the ways that can help you move on.

Whether consciously or not, you often do adapt your style depending on what your partner likes or doesn't like. So shopping for new clothes, shoes and accessories can help you mentally shift into your own head and heart space.

This can give a sense of confidence through new styles and different ways of dressing.

More importantly, it can feel good to invest in yourself and your style after a breakup.

Think about getting dressed every day as something therapeutic; that is just for you.

And think about wearing pieces that make you really happy, which make getting dressed in the morning an instant mood-booster.

Drawstring trousers, £79, cos.com

CLOTHES THAT WORK WHEN YOUR WEIGHT FLUCTUATES 

We all deserve to have a wardrobe full of things that fit properly, make us feel amazing and don't make us feel like we need to change ourselves. So start by going through what you own, trying it on, and sorting it into piles to keep, sell, alter or donate to charity.

You don't need to replace your entire wardrobe right now. Take your time to consider where you're going to be most often — the office, running around after the kids or working from home.

Change the question from: 'Where do I even begin?' to 'What pieces do I need to get me through the next few months?'

Leopard-print dress, £85, damson madder.com; shoes, now £26.70, johnlewis.com

Midi skirt, £49.99, zara.com

If your weight does tend to go up and down, there are some versatile clothes that you should consider wardrobe staples: oversized buttonup shirts; wide-leg jersey trousers with an elasticated waist; print midi skirts with an elasticated waist; throw-on, loosefitting dresses and wrap dresses.

Plus kimono-style jackets, khaki shirt-jackets and cotton croppedleg trousers with stretch.

Look for gathered garments which allow extra space, as well as pieces that look brilliant oversized — such as buttonup shirts, blazers and T-shirts.

If you've lost weight, look at pieces that could still work — sweatshirts or T-shirts worn oversized.

And consider speaking to a seamstress or tailor about altering clothes that were expensive or have sentimental value.

MENOPAUSAL? LOVE YOUR LAYERS

Blazer, £87.50, and shirt, now £19, johnlewis.com; wideleg culottes, £55, cos.com; necklace, £85 jigsaw-online.com

Trench coat, £109, johnlewis.com

Many women find perimenopausal or menopausal bodies become difficult to dress, due to stomachs that swell at a moment's notice and an internal temperature gauge that no longer works.

Layers are your friend. Manage hot flushes by peeling one off, or adding one if you're suddenly freezing. Upgrade your vest tops, because you'll be showing them off a bit more — I like the thicker strap styles from Weekday, & Other Stories and Arket. Anything you can waft around in is a winner, such as fluid dresses in natural, breathable fabrics like cotton, linen and silk.

A trench coat is a brilliantly practical piece for layering, particularly if you size up so there's more room beneath for layered tops. It's cooler than a wool coat and you can layer a denim or leather jacket underneath it.

Creating a menopause wardrobe of building blocks in soft fabrics and feminine silhouettes can really help you feel yourself through this, excuse the pun, period.

Knitwear is breathable and makes a great go-to, as do trousers with elasticated waists.

Knitted dresses in loose, easy-to-wear shapes are brilliant for winter, while cotton knits and wide-leg linen trousers work well in warmer weather.

EASY WAYS TO DEFRUMP YOURSELF

Most of us feel as though we have teetered into frump territory at one time or another. It's easy to do. A bit of a wobble in self-confidence, or even just taking your eye off the ball for a year (or four, in the case of a schoolrun wardrobe), can result in an outfit that used to feel right, but is now so wrong.

This is when you need to look at updating your basics with a few little tweaks.

When it comes to shoes, look for 'cooler' brands such as New Balance or Veja (don't buy new — look on Depop, eBay or Vestiaire for pre-loved) rather than running trainers.

Khaki cotton dress, £285, the regularworks.com; shoes, now £98, jigsaw-online.com; necklaces, stylist's own

Jeans, £35, marksandspencer.com

Trainers, £75, newbalance.co.uk

Earrings, £55, toolally.com

A pair of chunky sandals or trainers in the place of court shoes or ballet pumps can  instantly defrump a favourite pull-on dress, as can some interesting, bold jewellery.

Sometimes defrumping and updating means completely redefining a style. Maybe, for example, your favourite skinny jeans don't work any more and you need to look for something else.

High-rise dark denim with a wideleg could be an option. For inspiration, look on social media or Pinterest to see the kinds of styles being worn now.

DRESSING FOR A LANDMARK BIRTHDAY 

Money is all too often a deciding factor in 'occasion wear', but luckily, there are lots of ways to find outfits for big birthday events without wearing new from head to toe. 

And if you have multiple events in one year, then you can repurpose and restyle. Shop your wardrobe: do you have an outfit you've barely worn that could work? 

Think about updating it with shoes or accessories — or even consider changing the length of the hemline to make it feel different.

Think about clever separates: perennially stylish, these are items you can mix, match and change to suit the dress code and event. Go for block colour if you want years of wear out of it.

Dress, £200, essentiel-antwerp. com; shoes, £139, lkbennett.com

Buy bargains: secondhand occasion wear tends to be barely worn and means you can snap up items you couldn't have afforded at full price.

I love Vestiaire, eBay and ­Instagram sellers, including Manifesto Woman, Matisa Market, Darling + Vintage, Finds by Foxes and Curate & Rotate, that often have excellent edits.

Also consider outlet shopping,and rental services, or even borrowing from a friend. A gorgeous coat or dress, or even a clutch bag will be new to you and so make your outfit feel refreshed.