RuPaul delves into his addiction struggle in upcoming memoir The House Of Hidden Meanings: 'I had been stoned every day I could since I was 10 years old'

RuPaul is giving his fans an intimate look at his decades-long battle with addiction in his upcoming memoir The House Of Hidden Meanings.

The 63-year-old drag queen and reality competition host revealed that he had been getting high 'every day I could' going back to when he was just 10 years old in a new excerpt obtained Wednesday by Time.

Although he spoke openly of his struggles with substance abuse, it took RuPaul's then-partner and future husband Georges LeBar's own addiction to help him realize he had a problem.

RuPaul (full name: RuPaul Andre Charles) recounted how he was flying high in the 1990s as his profile increased, allowing him to fly to Miami to put on multiple club gigs for $10,000 to $12,000 a pop.

But his increased fame and his constant travel separated him form his partner Georges, who was left alone more and more of the time to supervise the renovation of a condo the two had bought in Miami. 

RuPaul is giving his fans an intimate look at his decades-long battle with addiction in his upcoming memoir The House Of Hidden Meanings; pictured in 2018 in Beverly Hills

The 63-year-old drag queen and reality competition host revealed that he had been getting high 'every day I could' going back to when he was just 10 years old in a new excerpt obtained Wednesday by Time

RuPaul recalled seeing Georges looking thinner than ever and shared his growing suspicions that something unsavory was going on behind the scenes.

'Georges and I had never had a conversation where we had strictly outlined the terms of our relationship, but it was understood that he was not to hurt my feelings, nor was I to hurt his,' the entertainer wrote. 'Neither of us would ever have done anything to make the other feel uncomfortable when we were together, nor would we have attempted to police each other’s behavior when we were apart. But I had a sense that Georges was doing things in Miami I wouldn’t like.'

The House Of Hidden Meanings goes on sale on March 5

After increasingly argumentative and bizarre interactions with Georges, RuPaul arrived back in Miami to find Georges looking gaunter than he ever had in his life.

'I have something I need to tell you,' Georges shared. 'I am addicted to crystal meth.'

RuPaul remembered his devastation at the admission.

'In that moment, everything came crashing down. But in the same breath, it all came together,' he explained.

'I knew what this meant. Crystal meth meant anonymous sex. It meant high-risk behavior. It meant brain damage. It meant an extraordinarily high degree of danger,' he continued.

RuPaul took his love to a hospital before getting him into a rehab clinic. But first, they had to get high together.

'We parked outside and walked to a grassy area, and I pulled out a joint. "This is going to be our last one," I said. "We lit it and smoked it together."'

He and his then-partner and future husband Georges LeBar (L) spent more and more time in Miami beginning in the 1990s, and Georges later became addict to crystal meth there; seen in 2019 in NYC

Realizing that Georges was addicted to drugs helped RuPaul to realize he also struggled with addiction, especially after a woman at a 12-step meeting shared a story similar to his own; seen January 7 in LA

'As I’d become famous, there was always a bottle of champagne backstage, and then as my workload increased, I had been smoking more and more weed, until I was smoking first thing in the morning,' he admitted; pictured in 1994

He took Georges to 12-step meeting the day after checking him into the hospital.

'I stood close enough to the door that I could bolt at any moment if I felt the urge. I was there as a supportive partner only. This was for Georges, not me,' he stressed.

But another woman struggling with addiction helped him realize that he wasn't as detached from Georges addiction battle as he thought.

'A woman then stood at the podium and began to speak. She was 71 years old, she said. She talked about her cocaine use and her life in the club scene, and how she felt invisible in her family, and how she never felt quite right for this world,' he recalled.

'Booze, she said, had been a way for her to maintain her sanity in a life that felt intolerable. She was a middle child, and her parents’ relationship had been tumultuous. Everything she said rang true to my own story. Is this some sort of hoax? I thought. Everything she is saying is mine.

'She was talking about her life, but she was telling my story,' he continued. 'There was something under her words, a truth that she was allowing to be revealed, that resonated with me in a way I could not describe. She knew me. She was me, and I was her.'

With a new consciousness of his behavior, RuPaul was able to examine his history with illicit substances going all the way back to his childhood.

'There had been clues. There are always clues. I had been stoned every day I could since I was 10 years old,' he admitted.

Although he cleaned his act up a bit at the start of the 1990s, over time the partying that he shunned made its way back into his life.

'As I’d become famous, there was always a bottle of champagne backstage, and then as my workload increased, I had been smoking more and more weed, until I was smoking first thing in the morning,' he admitted.

His drug use got riskier too, and he recounted almost taking weed in a jar through customs when he was going to see Elton John, and another time when he crossed into Canada to go to Vancouver and border agents found the remnants of several joints, which could easily have led to his arrest.

RuPaul's drug use began as a child. 'There had been clues. There are always clues. I had been stoned every day I could since I was 10 years old,' he admitted

He recalled risky behavior, including when he almost when through customs with a jar of weed to see Elton John, and another time when border agents going into Canada discovered a stash of half-smoked joints but didn't arrest him because of his fame

He recalled the tense interaction with the officer who confronted him about the drugs.

'"Look," he said. "We know who you are. And we’re going to let you go. But you’d better be careful."'

Eventually, his fast-paced life caught up with him, and it was impossible to deny to himself that he was addicted 

'I was doing my nightclub act, promoting my products, and shooting movies. I was exhausted all the time. And the only way I knew how to feel connected to the little part of me that was still left was to get high,' he admitted. 'Hadn’t I always known that this day would come — that I would have to admit to myself that I was an addict, too?'

RuPaul revealed that, around the same time that Georges was going to rehab, he had been 'buying coke from the sleaziest dealer in New York — a guy who later sold footage of celebrities high on heroin to the tabloids — and snorting it all by myself.'

He and Georges temporarily separated — though he stressed that they still talked on the phone every day — and the performer began going to 12-step meetings regularly on his own. 

RuPaul described how the fame and personality that had set him apart from others also made it easier for him to fall into a pattern of addiction. 

'For so long I had been motivated by one destiny — fame. But now that I had gotten it, what else was there?' he wrote. 'My whole life, I had always been special. In 12-step meetings, they called this a condition of terminal uniqueness — this sense of being so different from everyone that it felt like a death sentence. 

'But what I wanted now wasn’t to be singular, unique, the guy who always stuck out, taller than everyone else, with a name that not another motherf***er alive could carry.' 

RuPaul and Georges later married in 2017, and they currently split their time between homes in Los Angeles and Wyoming; pictured in 2019 in LA

He admitted: 'Because the more I spent time with friends and in meetings and out in the world, the more I was learning that I wasn’t so different after all.

'What I had learned in my time away was that I couldn’t be motivated by fear of not being enough. I had to be motivated by joy. By colors, music, laughter, dancing, and creativity — all the things that made life worth living,' he wrote.

RuPaul and Georges later married in 2017, and they currently split their time between homes in Los Angeles and Wyoming. 

The House Of Hidden Meanings goes on sale on March 5.