Popular LA 'ethical' butcher Jered Standing's ex-girlfriend speaks out after his suicide and shares how 'secretly nerdy' meat merchant loved Lord of the Rings but was battling demons before his death

Former partners and close friends of beloved Los Angeles ethical butcher Jered Standing are sharing their grief after the 44-year-old hanged himself last week.

In an exclusive interview with DailyMail.com, his ex-girlfriend Katie Sobelman described Standing's unrelenting dedication to his craft, his sensitive Lord of the Rings-loving side, and his struggle to come to terms with his father's passing years earlier.

His writer friend Stephanie Hughes also described how the 'last few months kicked his a** with stress' – though she thought he could see the light on the other end.

The locally famous Hancock Park butcher was heavily tattooed and often photographed scowling with raw carcasses and razor-sharp knives.

But those who knew him spoke of a compassionate, warm-hearted and mirthful man who inspired thousands to make more ethical choices with their meat-eating. 

LA-based butcher Jered Standing's former girlfriend and close friends are mourning the loss of the popular meat merchant after his shock suicide last week 

In an emotional interview with DailyMail.com Katie Sobelman spoke fondly of former boyfriend Jered Standing's 'infectious' drive, 'secretly nerdy' side, and revealed he had been struggling to come to term's with his father's death 

The 44-year-old butcher championed animal welfare and ethical meat sourcing. Standing (pictured) opened his butchery in 2017, which has since become one of the most popular butcher shops in LA

Sobelman, 38, told DailyMail.com that Standing's life wasn't always about steak.

She said when she met him at a Los Feliz bar in 2012, he was a vegetarian book store worker, with a need for a rental deposit and a direction in life.

Jered had just moved back to LA after living for years in a building site of a house in the remote, tiny town of Bisbee, Arizona.

'It was down to the studs. He was living in this construction zone in the middle of the desert in this small town by himself,' Sobelman said.

'He would tell me stories about it being just him and 30 feral cats, in the high desert, in the middle of winter, with the pipes freezing.

'He was only supposed to be there a short while, a few months. He ended up staying a few years.

'He only had books for company. So he had this inflection and vocabulary that was so strange for a regular person. The way that he spoke, it was striking, it took me off guard.

'He was sweet and kind, and seemed a little broken. It was a perfect combination of a man to fall in love with.' 

But Sobelman, a Napa-based esthetician, said at first she struggled with his lack of direction and financial plans, while he roomed with a friend in little more than a closet, or slept in his car. 

'We started dating. He got a part time seasonal job at Whole Foods. The whole thing stressed me out. I needed someone a little more together, who had some ambition,' she said.

'When I met Jered he didn't have any of that. His goal in life was to live in a trailer in the woods. His favorite book is Walden. He wanted a quiet life.'

Jered Standing, (pictured) owner of Standing's Butchery in Hancock Park, was found dead at his home on February 22. The LA county medical examiner ruled that he died by suicide

Speaking to DailyMail.com after his tragic passing, Standing's writer friend Stephanie Hughes (pictured) also described how the 'last few months kicked his a** with stress' – though she thought he could see the light on the other end

One ex-girlfriend, Karen Palmer (right) who dated Standing during the pandemic, shared a touching  post on Instagram paying tribute to the 'very special' butcher 

Palmer touched on Jered's ability to make her laugh as well as his 'intelligence, compassion' and 'dynamite sense of humor' while urging the public to be 'gentle with one another' 

They split for a few months, and it was then that he flung himself into butchery.

'I think he used to say to himself, I'm going to prove you wrong,' said Sobelman. 'He got his s**t together.'

She said that after grueling shifts at the supermarket meat department, he would work for free at Hollywood restaurant Salt's Cure, honing his meat preparation skills.

They got back together, and Standing landed his first big break around 2014 with a job at farm-to-table meat merchant Belcampo, where he learned the process of raising high quality cattle humanely.

'It was the beginning of his celebrity, to some extent. He dedicated himself to content and to building his personal brand. He got a lot of attention because he became the face of that business in LA,' Sobelman said.

But he still had demons.

'I jokingly called it the little black box,' Sobelman said. 'It was this place in his mind that he would put emotion and uncomfortable things. He would lock it away so he wouldn't have to deal with it.'

One source of intense sadness was his father's death in 2005. Standing cared for the divorced parent for months as his health deteriorated, a process which Sobelman said was 'deeply impactful for him'.

She said on rare occasions, after a few drinks, 'the tip of the iceberg would poke through and you could see this sadness and anger. But the next day it would all go back in the box.'

'He knew so many people, so many of what you would consider friends, but he didn't lean on them or open up to them about things going on in his life, things he was feeling,' she added.

Katie said when she met Jered at a Los Feliz bar in 2012, he was a vegetarian book store worker, with a need for a rental deposit and a direction in life. They eventually split in 2018

Standing built his company with a focus on sustainable sourcing and whole-butchery. He insisted on limiting waste by using every part of the animal and sourced his meat only from California farmers that prioritized 'free-range habitats, heritage breeds and all-grass diets'

The former vegetarian operated his butchery with a zero-waste policy which saw Standing use all parts of the animal, including scraps, bones and other choice-cut byproducts. He would use the less-desirable meat parts in stocks, chili and dog food and treats

But Sobelman said living in a one bedroom apartment for years with her boyfriend she got to see a tender and funny side too.

'He was secretly very nerdy. He was really into Lord of the Rings. He read them multiple times. He could speak in Elvish,' she said, referring to the fictional language devised by the book's author J. R. R. Tolkein.

'His favorite movie was Cinderella Man with Russell Crowe. He loved a heartwarming, bootstraps story.'

Sobelman added that he would often make her laugh by quoting a monologue from the movie There Will Be Blood with a husky Daniel Day-Lewis impression.

She recalled one night when they watched a movie together involving a suicide, they agreed it was 'selfish and cowardly' and that 'we would never do that'.

But on February 22, his body was discovered at his apartment after he killed himself by hanging, according to the Los Angeles Medical Examiner's Office.

His close friend Stephanie Hughes spoke of her bewilderment at the choice.

'I just talked to him on Wednesday. We spiralled into the typical kind of nerdy text streams we've been having for over a decade and while I know these last few months kicked his a** with stress, he had a plan to tackle it,' the San Francisco-based freelance writer said in an Instagram post on Monday.

'A well deserved break in Mexico to really reset was on the close horizon. He was stoked, giddy even, but now it seems, well, yeah. F**k.

'I've been as close to walking through that same door as many these past few years when the darkness tried to suck any remaining light out of reality. So, I get it and I get what the relief of walking through it must give, but oh how it stings for those holding the love left behind.'

Sobelman said that she knew from her own esthetician business how much work entrepreneurship can be. But she said that Standing was 'all-consumed' from the moment he launched his own butcher shop in LA.

Standing, who grew up eating free school lunches and held a 'string of low paying jobs' since he was a teenager, eventually ran one of LA's most popular butcher shops

Standing prioritized being a 'hospitality business' and made an effort to 'connect with our guests on a deeper level than just "customers"', he previously said. He would often stand behind the meat counter, showcasing his latest products or sausage flavor, and recommend cooking techniques for every cut of meat he had for sale

'I just remember him being so exhausted all the time. He worked a lot, we were poor, we were young. It was a hustle,' she said.

But she added that she also admired the way he turned his life around and took others with him with 'charisma and charm'.

'His drive motivated me. It was infectious, you wanted to be a part of it,' Sobelman said. 

'He was so passionate about it, he made you feel that excitement for it. That's what was so great about him. He took something ambiguous or something you don't think about, and made it something you care about.'

However, their differences eventually took their toll, and the couple split in 2018.

He has dated others since, though Sobelman said she doesn't think he introduced anyone else to his nuclear family.

One ex-girlfriend, Karen Palmer, dated Standing during the pandemic, and is a contributing LA food editor for news site SFGate.

'Just because a romantic relationship ends doesn't necessarily mean you stop loving someone,' she wrote in an Instagram tribute post on Monday.

'[Standing] was and always will be a very special person in my life. Few people could make me laugh as hard as that guy.

'I hope that he will be remembered not only for his talent and as a beloved and respected member of LA's food community, but also for his intelligence, compassion, creativity, and absolutely dynamite sense of humor.'

Palmer, Sobelman and Hughes all urged friends to reach out if they were struggling with mental health, and called on loved ones to check on anyone who might be in need.

If you or anyone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please call the Suicide Prevention hotline on 988 - or 1-800-273-8255 - or go to SuicidePreventionLifeline.org