I don't want my best friend's boyfriend at my wedding - but I am scared it will make her choose him over me

A young bride-to-be is petrified of losing her best friend after deciding she won't be inviting her 'toxic' other half to her wedding.

Speaking on Reddit the young woman explained her wedding will be in South Korea - where her boyfriend's family is from - and a very intimate affair.

She will have a second wedding in the USA which will be larger - but still 'not large enough' to invite her friend's partner.

The bride-to-be explained her friend is often left a sobbing mess by the man who verbally abuses her, cheats on her and forces her to have sex without contraception.

They will break up and then - after a period of deep depression - her friend will become 'euphoric' and she will know they have gotten back together.

A young bride-to-be is petrified of losing her best friend after deciding she won't be inviting her 'toxic' other half to her wedding

'My friend has told me countless times that her boyfriend is excited for my wedding in South Korea. I never invited him.. or her,' she said.

She added her partner's family would prefer just immediate family be present for the wedding in their home country.

'I finally told her yesterday that my future in laws just want the wedding to be for their family. My friend went silent with disappointment and said "….oh well that's unfortunate I'll tell my boyfriend he can still look forward to the wedding you're having in the U.S",' she said.

The young woman is now faced with having to have another uncomfortable chat to her friend.

'I don’t know how to tell her I really don’t want him there. I’m thinking of saying that I’m not inviting significant others since it’s going to be an intimate wedding,' she said.

'But the issue with that is my fiancé's best friend that is going to be at the wedding is going to bring his girlfriend.'

The bride-to-be said she has no issue with her partner's friend's girlfriend - and that she is an active member of their friendship group.

She just doesn't want to cause an issue when it looks like her own best friend's toxic partner is the only one that has been left out.

'I never hung out with my friend and her boyfriend. I always tried to make plans with them and see if I can try to like this guy for my friend’s sake but it never happened. I just don’t understand why he would be looking forward to both of my weddings.'

The woman was told to stick to her guns by the people of Reddit - with many explaining her friend will 'thank her later'.

'He sounds like a bad person and I would draw a line in the sand. If not, you run the risk of appearing dishonest about your moral superiority -- that you only disapprove of bad behavior when it impacts your wallet,' one man said.

He suggested she say something like: 'Friend, I love you but I cannot in good conscience have that kind of person in my life, and that includes events in which you are invited. I understand if you choose not to come because of this - I hope to one day be able to connect with you again when you're not tethered to this kind of behavior.'

A second echoed this.

The woman is having two wedding parties but doesn't want her best friend's partner at either

'I can’t imaging having this cr*ppy guy at my wedding. The invite is for her and only her. He’s not included at all like I don’t want a horrible abusive a**hole at my special day. I need to be honest with her and tell her how I truly feel about this person and that I don’t want him there.'

But others cautioned the bride-to-be.

'If they do live together, you can't really invite her and not invite him without significant fall out,' one woman said.

'Invite them both and accept that there's someone there you don't want at your wedding, like I had to with my sister in law.'

The bride-to-be said she hopes the couple aren't together by the time the official invites come out. 

'It just annoys me that she assumes he is invited.'