This is the one 'obvious' sign a couple isn't going to last: 'It's a relationship killer'

The number one indicator that a couple will break up has been revealed, according to relationship experts.  

Dating Coach Debbie Rivers told FEMAIL that contempt is often the biggest 'relationship killer' and a leading 'predictor of divorce'. 

Contempt is the attitude or feeling towards someone that they are worthless or beneath consideration - as if the person is inferior. It also includes feelings of anger and resentment.

'Contempt shows disgust about the other person and it's different to criticism. You can see how that will kill any relationship and make it hard to resolve your problems in the relationship,' Ms Rivers said.

Australian relationship coach Debbie Rivers (left) said contempt is the feeling that the other person is worthless or beneath consideration

What are the common signs of contempt?

Ms Rivers said there are four types of communication that kill relationships - contempt, criticism, stonewalling (shutting down) and defensiveness (not listening). 

'If there is contempt in your relationship it is the biggest predictor that you are headed for a breakup or a divorce,' she said.

Common signs of contempt include insults, sarcasm, eye rolling, mockery, hostile humour, name calling and acting like you are better than your partner.

'It is feeling like they are beneath you - an air of superiority. It's hard to solve a problem if your partner gets the idea/message that you are disgusted with them,' Ms Rivers said. 

'It tends to happen when there are long-term resentments and unresolved issues in a relationship. It is those continual negative thoughts about your partner.'

Leading Australian relationship expert Dr Lurve (pictured) agreed that contempt is a 'silent relationship killer' and those in relationships need to 'be aware' of their negative behaviour

What is the solution?

Relationship expert Dr Lurve agreed that contempt is a 'silent killer' and those in relationships need to 'be aware' of negative behaviour.

'It's that toxic cocktail of disrespect, condescension, and a general sense of superiority towards a partner,' she told FEMAIL. 

'It's crucial for couples to recognise the warning signs early on and address them head-on. Open, honest communication and a commitment to mutual respect can serve as powerful antidotes to contempt, fostering healthier and more enduring connections.' 

Dr Lurve recommended making a 'collective effort to unmask contempt' and replace it with positive values. 

It's essential to not only make your spouse feel loved but also respected and genuinely appreciated.

'In doing so, we can pave the way for lasting love stories that stand the test of time,' Dr Lurve added.

 A conversation also sparked on Reddit where hundreds weighed in on the topic and agreed if one or both show contempt for their spouse the relationship won't last long-term (stock image) 

A conversation also sparked on Reddit where hundreds weighed in on the topic and agreed if one or both show contempt for their spouse the relationship won't last long-term. 

Many also pointed out other behavioral traits that could signal a split. 

'I always find couples who post about how much they love each other on social media break up pretty quick,' one wrote. 

'If their communication just doesn't improve over time,' another said.

A third added: 'They casually show signs that they don't respect each other: it can be a lot of eye rolling, mocking, condescending laugh, casually saying 'you're so stupid', embarrassing in front of friend.' 

Another shared their personal experience and said: 'My ex said 'I'm trying to toughen you up'. Interesting, because I never asked for boxing coach for my emotions.'

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