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The great Commonwealth of Kentucky has long been known for several things: bourbon, racehorses, and one very old and powerful, bespectacled man-turtle senator.
But now, thanks to a single Democratic lady lawmaker, the proud Bluegrass state has been tarred with a foul new moniker: the pedo-friendly state!
Senator Karen Berg, the dimwit liberal product of a painfully gerrymandered district outside of Louisville, stepped in a giant pile of farm pucky this week after she dove headfirst into the shallow end of legislation that would make it a felony to possess a sex doll styled after a child.
Who makes these abominations?
Excuse me while I retch.
I expected that to be the reaction of all Kentucky State lawmakers to this bill just before they shouted 'Yay!' in unison.
But no! One Kentucky Karen (was there ever a more appropriately named legislator?) is too woke for that.
Senator Karen Berg, the dimwit liberal product of a painfully gerrymandered district outside of Louisville, stepped in a giant pile of farm pucky after she dove headfirst into the shallow end of legislation that would make it a felony to possess a sex doll styled after a child.
'I was completely unfamiliar with child sex dolls, so I had of course to Google it last night,' this self-satisfied pinko blathered on in a hearing last week, as colleagues watched in abject horror.
You'll need some industrial-strength pesticide to clean that browser, Karen, but go on…
'There are what they call "MAPS", minor-attracted persons. And the limited amount of research that's done on these dolls suggests that they actually, for people who are attracted to minors… decrease proclivity to go out and attack children,' she said.
Hold it right there, woman.
Exactly who calls pedophiles, MAPS? As a parent, I am viscerally repulsed by anyone who would grant these disgusting monsters any such special designation.
The same goes for corpse-attracted persons (murderous necrophiliacs) and non-consent-attracted persons (rapists).
What is it with these misanthropic, progressive do-gooders obsessed with fitting every imaginable fetish with an adorable PC acronym?
Indeed, to their great shame, the National Institutes of Health has embraced the term 'minor-attracted person' in a disgusting attempt to reduce the apparent stigma that pedophiles experience while seeking treatment for their debased 'sexual urges'.
But do you know who else calls pedophiles MAPS? Pedophiles – that's who!
Members of the North American Man-Boy Love Association, a proud pro-pedophilia group that sickeningly advocates for abolishing age-of-consent laws, have embraced the acronym.
That's reason enough to reject the term.
Oddly that information did not come up in your extensive research, Senator.
Perhaps, governing requires a bit more preparation than a late-night Google cram session.
Ms Berg should be ashamed of herself for contorting the English language and, knowingly or not, bending to the whims of creeps who would love nothing more than to decriminalize the abuse of children.
But astonishingly, this smug Karen wasn't done.
Dear Reader, I hope you haven't eaten a big meal. Brace yourself for what comes next.
'[Child sex dolls] actually gives [pedophiles] a release that makes them less likely to go outside of their home,' Berg informed the horrified hearing room.
Give them a 'release'?
JFC lady, YOU sound like the perv.
Who conducted this uncited research – the National Association of Totally Normal and Acceptable Minor Attracted Persons?
NATNAMAP is a label only a lefty could love.
Ms Berg should be ashamed of herself for, knowingly or not, bending to the whims of creeps who would love nothing more than to decriminalize the abuse of children.
Doesn't this dizzy dipstick realize that randy reprobates aren't going to accurately self-report having their way with plastic preschoolers?
Come on, Karen. What else have you got?
'What was interesting, is the research did not support the same conclusions for people who were adult-attracted using dolls,' she concluded.
In fact, that's not interesting in the least. It's an utterly insane comparison. Adults can consent to sex with other grown-ups, while pedophiles target defenseless children.
Lord, I can see where this is going.
The only thing liberals love more than the coddling of the latest avant-garde victim class is saddling the U.S. taxpayer with the burden of caring for them.
The logic of the Left demands that if child sex dolls cure pedophilia, then these miracle remedies should be provided – free of charge – to every sex-crazed degenerate in America.
You get a sex doll! And you get a sex doll! And you get a sex doll!
To be fair, Senator Berg – either due to public humiliation or in pursuit of political self-preservation – has walked back this public atrocity.
'As a mom and a physician, I am of course deeply concerned with the harm of pedophilia and I regret if my question in committee didn't convey that,' she wrote. 'I voted… to outlaw child-sex dolls.'
Well, not good enough – and much too little, too late.
Other professionals have been run out of a job for promoting a magnanimous approach to pedophilia. A transgender assistant professor of sociology and criminal justice at Virginia's Old Dominion University, Allyn Walker, was forced to resign in 2021 after advocating for the use of the term, MAP.
'From my perspective, there is no morality or immorality attached to attraction to anyone because no one can control who they're attracted to at all,' Walker said at the time.
Agree to ferociously disagree, Professor Sicko. There is evil in the human soul – and we don't do anyone any favors pretending that it doesn't.
Faux-tolerant fools like Berg are so thrilled by the idea of creating a new protected class that they ignore the true victims among us.
So, in that spirit, Senator, I expect your resignation on my desk by Monday.
To lighten the sting, I've come up with an acronym to reduce the stigma of losing your seat.
From here on out, you'll be called a DIP.
Deranged-idiot-progressive.