KENNEDY: Guffawing that Kate could be dead is a vomitous new low for washed-up clown John Oliver and accused cocaine daddy Andy Cohen... but the tittering conspiracy hens of The View are just as rotten

Bravo executive turned on-air big-mouth Andy Cohen yucked it up Tuesday night with wannabe funny man John Oliver on Cohen's titular talk show 'Watch What Happens Live'… and I really wish I hadn't watched at all.

I lost respect for Oily Oliver and his tired schtick years ago. But recent reports that he'd gone full intifada in defense of Palestine only confirmed what I feared:

If a washed-up clown can't make 'em laugh, he'll make 'em retch instead!

And his latest over-baked hot take has indeed been vomitous in the extreme.

Cohen and Oliver, two sad salt-and-pepperpots – Andy bronzed and buttered into his too-tight pinstripe, JLo inexplicably in a tracksuit – guffawed and grabbed for the fading glint of the limelight, dragging stricken Princess Kate into the picture.

But like a shoddy Photoshop, Andy's nosedive into the gelatinous 'Katespiracy' soup was as unsubtle as Sharon Osborne's latest facelift.

Bravo executive turned on-air big-mouth Andy Cohen yucked it up Tuesday night with wannabe funny man John Oliver on Cohen's titular talk show 'Watch What Happens Live' … and I really wish I hadn't watched at all.

Cohen and Oliver, two sad salt-and-pepperpots - Andy bronzed and buttered into his too-tight pinstripe, JLo inexplicably in a tracksuit - guffawed and grabbed for the fading glint of the limelight, dragging stricken Princess Kate into the picture.

'What the f*** is going on with Kate Middleton?' he squealed.

To which pimento-stuffed Oliver chirped: 'I thought, let's all just ignore this, we've moved on… until the Photoshop thing and it feels like you're almost handling it badly in an impressive way at this point.'

Thanks Johnny! I'm sure Palace PRs are taking attentive note.

But wait, there was more from our favorite bottom feeders:

'There is a non-zero chance she died 18 months ago,' Oliver said with thinly veiled glee. 'They might be Weekend At Bernie's-ing this situation.'

(Vanderpump Rules 'star' and fellow couch-guest Ariana Madix thought bubble: 'How many is non-zero!?')

Oh my giddiness, you know what's utterly hilarious? Two men, fast catapulting past midlife, careers targeted to the valley floor, jibing about the potential death of a young mom-of-three convalescing from major surgery.

You know who White House wetwipe Oliver would never dream of trashing with his 'Weekend At Bernie's' dud? Our doddering dotard-in-chief, Joe Biden.

What's that stench emanating out from under the studio lights? I smell last week's reheated chicken!

It's stunning really – with all the over-stuffed writers' rooms and Emmys under their collective belt – how fast comedy eludes this desperate duo.

From Cohen – the most veteran Real Housewife – we really shouldn't expect any less than TikTok-fueled tattle.

But for Oliver – who likes to cosplay as foreign policy guru and politico Big Brain, mansplaining disasters here and abroad – to gun straight for the Crown Jewels with this most malignant of mudslings is surely a rotten new low.

Oh my giddiness, you know what's utterly hilarious? Two men, fast catapulting past midlife, careers targeted to the valley floor, jibing about the potential death of a young mom-of-three convalescing from major surgery.

They're not the only ones.

Over on The View, the hens were pecking away on Wednesday with some nasty ol' witchery.

Joy-less Behar piped up to inform watchers that she doesn't trust the Royal Family because she'd watched The Crown.

Sara Haines buried her face in her fingers and intimated with hysteria that the princess has gone AWOL: 'Where are you, Kate?... She's not there!'

Sunny Hostin, in her wisdom, agreed.

And in a sign that the insanity watermark has truly been reached, Whoopi Goldberg – spectacularly wrong on almost everything – tried her best sister act of being the voice of reason.

'When you buy into this stuff [conspiracies], when they start doing it to your family… it's not cute,' she thundered.

A welcome blast of reality from Whoopi Cushion.

Back to the Andy Cohen problem, it's fun to Watch What Happens as he's sued and tattooed as a pariah by an angry and highly litigious squad of Bravolebrities.

Toxic allegations of on-set racism, bullying and forced alcohol consumption now run thick in the Housewife-sphere.

Full disclosure: I made out with Below Deck's Captain Jason in a bar two years ago after a booze-fueled dinner with Bravo execs. Cohen was not in attendance. Although come to think of it, I did go to Andy's pride party in Manhattan a few moons back. Lots and lots of hot, young men. Andy looked like a giddy grandpa – and it was always, in my experience, wholesome good fun.

But in recent weeks, former RH star Leah McSweeney has filed an explosive lawsuit against Cohen and Bravo, alleging that Andy 'tormented' and 'demeaned' her for quality on-screen drama, and even took cocaine with cast members.

Accused Coke Daddy Cohen has fired back, trashing McSweeney's claims as false and defamatory.

Nonetheless, McSweeney – who has spent time in psychiatric facilities and spoken openly about her alcohol addiction – has felt the sour end of Cohen's on-screen chicanery.

In recent weeks, former RH star Leah McSweeney has filed an explosive lawsuit against Cohen and Bravo, alleging that Andy 'tormented' and 'demeaned' her for quality on-screen drama, and even took cocaine with cast members.

Despite knowing of her alcoholism, Cohen committed one episode of 'Watch What Happens Live' to questioning guests about whether McSweeney had been any fun on girls' trip during which she had insisted – for her health's sake – on remaining sober.

Whenever anybody mentioned McSweeney, Cohen instructed viewers to take a drink.

It was the same sad story when Raquel Leviss did a stint of her own in a health facility back when her sordid 'Scandoval' affair with adulterous stool Tom Sandoval – cheating on John Oliver's fellow giggle-pixie Ms Madix – dipped out across global news outlets.

Bravo execs well knew of Leviss's woes – and yet Cohen dedicated another episode to grilling her screen-mates about what they thought of her mental health.

SNL's Chloe Fineman trashed Leviss as a 'filthy whore' and Cohen simply laughed.

Oliver meanwhile is a transatlantic travesty, taking in too much water to be saved.

In a recent to-camera screed, proudly donning his pro-Palestine credentials, Oliver smeared the most ardent defenders of the Jewish state as 'dips**ts'.

Truth is, Oliver is a narcissist stuck on yesterday's soundtrack – and Cohen and the chapesses of The View are little better.

The furor around beleaguered Kate is wearing thinner than a Housewife on Ozempic. Cruelly stirring the conspiratorial caldron for clicks is as ugly as it gets.