Sydney Sweeney's ample assets have sparked a preposterous row about boobs being 'back'. But, KARA KENNEDY says, us big-bosomed gals know they were NEVER out of fashion... just ask my husband!

Welcome to a big new era.

Apparently, the Brazilian butt lifts, backless dresses with built-in thongs, and endless idolization of Kim Kardashian's derrière are all over.

According to a flurry of breathless column inches, the arseless though amply chested like me can finally breathe a sigh of relief: boobs are back!

And they say us gals can thank Sydney Sweeney for much of this buoyant return.

In truth, women like Sweeney and me know that there's never really been an 'era' that's not a boobs era.

Yes, the precise size and apportionments of the 'acceptable' female frame change with the season at the whim of magazine editors and advertising execs.

And yes, the fickle cultural pendulum may indeed swing with the release of songs like 'Baby Got Back' and big-bottomed Nicki Minaj's 'Anaconda' – but a quick conversation with any red-blooded male will tell you all you need to know about what's always in vogue.

According to a flurry of breathless column inches, the arseless though amply chested like me can finally breathe a sigh of relief: boobs are back!

And they say we gals can thank Sydney Sweeney for much of this buoyant return. In truth, women like Sweeney and me know that there's never really been an 'era' that's not a boobs era. (Pictured: Author Kara Kennedy).

Frankly, I'd be shocked if any of my straight male friends or even my husband knew what color my eyes were. And nor do I care.

What irks me is this overblown and faux-shocked obsession over what we all know to be timelessly desirable assets.

How did we get here?

As Hollywood's latest It Girl, Sweeney has been making something of a buxom wave for quite some time.

Now 26, she first burst onto the scene in 2019, playing a teen who no one actually believed was a teen in hyper-sexualized HBO high-school hit Euphoria.

But she really turned heads in recent years with a lead in the smash-debut of The White Lotus, a rollicking Rolling Stones music video, plus cinematic roles in Anyone But You and super-hated superhero movie Madame Web – which literally everyone thought was entirely dreadful minus Sydney's presence.

And so, once more, the world has united in agreeing that a buxom blonde really is one of life's finer pleasures. Is that a terrible thing?

While Sydney's stunning figure is having something of a moment – 20 million Instagram followers and counting – it is patently obvious that she is so more than that.

Her SNL hosting gig earlier this month was proof positive of comedic talent. Critics declared it a rare triumph for the ageing Saturday serial.

But then came the overshadowing, preposterous row.

'Sydney Sweeney proves wokeness is dead,' was the general theme of a series of frothing tweets from celebratory right-wingers.

While across the aisle, the hourglass actress was cast as a victim of misogyny.

'Sydney Sweeney embraces the male gaze,' blasted a worthy Newsweek headline, dropping in a bit of lingo only a grad student could love.

As Hollywood's latest It Girl, Sweeney has been making something of a buxom wave for quite some time. Now 26, she first burst onto the scene in 2019, playing a teen who no one actually believed was a teen in hyper-sexualized HBO high-school hit 'Euphoria'.

And so, once more, the world has united in agreeing that a buxom blonde really is one of life's finer pleasures. Is that a terrible thing? (Pictured: Kara).

The problem is, neither side has quite grasped the import of this cultural moment. Nor are they doing much service to Sweeney's sizeable brainpower.

Indeed – why is everybody in uproar over a nice pair of breasts?

The answer is baked deep in Western culture.

A woman's sexuality has long been used as a stick to beat her with. It's a tired paradox as old as Joe Biden: Too sexy? You're a slut. Too covered up? You're frigid.

Whisper it – but much of this boob beating is done by other women, who don't like to see an enemy set of cleavage moving up higher in the workplace food chain.

And now the last decade – and with the advent of social media – it's all gone tits up.

We've seen cover stars transform from busty models with six packs to the over-large likes of Lizzo and other 'body positive' figureheads like Tess Holliday.

Vogue now champions non-binary stars such as Emma Corrin and Sam Smith, and breast-binders are more 'in' than actual breasts!

The utter sexlessness of this TikTok-led tirade has so warped our sense of beauty that it's little wonder young people are having so little sex.

Think about it. Anybody under the age of 18 hasn't really experienced a classic Hollywood beauty in the shows and films they watch. The Marilyns, the Bardots, the Taylors.

It all means that when someone like Sweeney comes along, we can't quite believe what we're seeing.

Sweeney understands this and leans in. She has even described her breasts as her 'best friends'. Can you blame her?

It wasn't always this way.

Sweeney has also revealed that she once considered getting breast reduction surgery.

'When I was in high school, I used to feel uncomfortable about how big my boobs were and I used to say that when I turned 18, I was going to get a boob job to make them smaller,' she told Glamour UK in December.

Thank goodness she listened to her mom, who warned she'd regret it. How right she was.

A woman's sexuality has long been used as a stick to beat her with. It's a tired paradox as old as Joe Biden: Too sexy? You're a slut. Too covered up? You're frigid.

'When I was in high school, I used to feel uncomfortable about how big my boobs were and I used to say that when I turned 18, I was going to get a boob job to make them smaller,' Sweeney told Glamour UK in December.

Thankfully for me, when I was in high school I quickly recognized that bigger boobs were an asset and didn't complain. Even when they landed me in hot water.

Clothing — no matter how conservative — often looked vulgar, or overly showy. Men would stare, and one distant ex-boyfriend even deemed it acceptable to show his friends intimate pictures of them.

Women's bodies – flat-chested or full – deserve respect. That goes without saying.

But it's certainly refreshing to see Sweeney soaring forward as a symbol for unabashed, uncomplicated enjoyment of hotness.

Perhaps this is the start of a new frontier, a silencing of the blue-haired libs who love to insist that ugliness is chic.

Or perhaps that's wishful thinking.

Either way, those of us who have to live with back pain and clutch our chests as we go over speedbumps should at least enjoy this moment fulsomely.