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I'm sitting in an upmarket store a couple of blocks from my office while a woman I've just met squashes my nose with a rubber ball.
The woman tells me the device she's using to 'drain waste' from my skin is a bit like a 'yoga ball for the face,' shortly before she proceeds to push it into the space between my chin and neck.
I can feel the heat rising in my skin. My nose starts to itch.
Believe it or not, what I am experiencing is a wellness treatment, said to vastly improve the appearance of your skin and even your health.
And fans pay $240 for the service.
I am here in the name of journalism - as part of an in-depth investigation into the most ridiculous-sounding wellness trends Millennials and Gen Z are paying hundreds of dollars for every month.
I tried weird fads as part of an in-depth investigation into the most ridiculous-sounding wellness trends Millennials and Gen Z are paying hundreds of dollars for every month
StretchLab’s motto is ‘Don’t stretch. Get stretched.’ Their ‘flexologists’ will work with you one-on-one or in group sessions to stretch everything from your calves and quads to your back and arms
The wellness industry, worth a whopping $1.8trillion — $480billion in the US — has become increasingly odd in its offerings over the past few years.
Infrared saunas, breast milk supplements and eating placenta have all had their moments in the spotlight - promising to make us healthier, happier and, in some cases, thinner. And it appears the weirder the better, with Americans spending five to 10 percent more on these 'remedies' every year.
While I wouldn’t consider myself a health and wellness nut, keeping fit and well is important to me. I eat fairly balanced, exercise regularly and even enjoy a hot yoga class once in a while.
But is that enough to keep me really and truly healthy? I was curious to see if the myriad of treatments I've always deemed unnecessary may in fact live up to their claims.
So, I tested three popular wellness fads to see how they stacked up.
I didn’t know what to expect going in and was a little nervous it would be awkward, but Allen, my certified ‘flexologist,’ was a great guide
I definitely left feeling less tense and was sent home with a few moves I could do myself
There is a StretchLab studio a few blocks from my apartment and I pass it often, thinking: 'Are we really paying people to stretch us now?'
StretchLab’s motto is ‘Don’t stretch. Get stretched.’ Their ‘flexologists’ will work with you one-on-one or in group sessions to stretch everything from your calves and quads to your back and arms.
I didn’t know what to expect going in and was a little nervous it would be awkward, but Allen, my certified ‘flexologist,’ was a great guide.
Stretchers at ‘the lab’ undergo 60 to 70 hours of training and come from different fitness backgrounds.
Allen is a certified exercise physiologist with experience in exercise science who turned to stretching in an effort to help people avoid injury.
My session started with a digital assessment that saw a video taken of me doing a squat. While Allen complimented my form, the footage also revealed I began to bend forward and my knees splayed outward a bit.
He explained this is common in people like me who work office jobs because we’re hunched over our desks all day. He promised to improve my posture.
The session started off with me laying on my back on a table with Allen turning my legs in circles. While stretching, Allen said I should tell him when my ‘uncomfortability’ hit a six or seven and he’d stop pushing the move and just hold it.
I’ve had chronic neck and back pain from an old injury so Allen made sure to put special focus on that.
He spoke with me about the importance of stretching for people of all ages and exercise activity and kept me updated on the exact moves he was doing and which muscles were being worked.
There are StretchLabs all over the country and prices vary between them, but an intro 50-minute class will run you anywhere from $49 to $59
I’ve had chronic neck and back pain from an old injury so Allen made sure to put special focus on that
Overall, we stretched hamstrings, glutes, hips, calves, my lower back and quads. Moving to the upper body, he stretched my shoulders, chest, biceps and upper back.
Initially I wondered how this could be a 50-minute session, but time actually went by quickly and before I knew it, we were wrapping up.
Allen told me I would be a little sore and should stay hydrated for the rest of the day.
The experience was very relaxing and I enjoyed my session. I thought Allen was super informative and made me comfortable.
I definitely left feeling less tense and was sent home with a few moves I could do myself.
There are StretchLabs all over the country and prices vary between them, but an intro 50-minute class will run you anywhere from $49 to $59. A normal 50-minute session is at least $105. A 25-minute stretch is approximately $55 and pre-paid packages that allow for multiple sessions start at $149.
VERDICT: I would recommend a session for people who lead a more sedentary life and aren’t stretching at all. If you’re a runner or weight-lifter who doesn’t incorporate warm-up or cool-down stretching, or an older person looking to stay spry, this could be a good option for you.
It would be hard for me to justify spending more than $100 to be stretched given my current physical state, but if I’m ever feeling stiff, uncomfortable or unable to touch my toes, I hope Allen is available again.
THE INTENSIVE FACE MASSAGE THAT 'DRAINS WASTE' FOR $240
The results are immediate and I’ll admit I saw less puffiness in my face. However, the effects only last between three and seven days
FaceGym, which has locations all over the world, bills itself as ‘not a facial,’ but a facial ‘workout.’ It claims its services can get you ‘snatched and sculpted in under an hour.’
The facial exercise was founded with the goal to be a ‘middle ground between topical skincare and extreme procedures.’
My session was 45 minutes with a ‘trainer.’ She was informative, funny and despite me not knowing what to expect, she seemed talented in her craft.
In order to work at FaceGym, a person must first be a licensed aesthetician and then undergo specialized training at the company.
One-third of the body’s lymphatic system is in the face. This is a network of tissues that make up part of the immune and circulatory systems. Lymph nodes carry white blood cells that fight disease throughout the body and FaceGym touts its ‘workouts’ target the system in the face and neck and help drain waste in certain parts of the body.
My trainer told me their technique is based on ancient Chinese practices and is meant to lift, sculpt and tighten the face. Most people come in wanting to focus on their jawline or cheekbones.
The treatment started with a warm towel and cleanser to remove makeup and dirt. While cleansing she began to knead her knuckles into my cheeks and forehead.
FaceGym, which has locations all over the world, bills itself as ‘not a facial,’ but a facial ‘workout'
My aesthetician told me the facial workout should be a bi-weekly routine. However, starting at $240 for their signature sculpt, this wouldn’t fit into my wellness budget
Then, she took a ‘face ball,’ a ‘yoga ball for your face,’ and began rolling it on my cheeks, forehead, jawline, shoulders and chest. It was a little bigger than a baseball.
This was to stretch facial muscles and encourage lymphatic drainage. I’m not sure if it was working but it felt like a little massage.
Next up was the hands-on section, which saw my face smoothed with oil and the aesthetician rubbing her knuckles into my cheeks in short, swift motions. Then she quickly swiped her hands across my face. I giggled. It felt awkward having my cheeks hit over and over again.
It didn’t take long for my face to turn bright red and get itchy. I was a little uncomfortable but nothing I couldn’t handle.
After the ‘cardio,’ came a much-welcomed gentler massage pushing upward from my cheeks, forehead, nose and neck. Then, a nice cold multi-sculpt tool designed to lift, sculpt, reduce puffiness and promote lymphatic drainage.
I liked the contrast of the cold tool on my flushed face.
The next part is when I lost it. FaceGym sells its Pure Lift Face tool for $520. It sends random electrical impulses into the skin as you rub it over your face. It is supposed to make muscles contract to tighten them.
It also makes you twitch.
Sitting back in my chair, I burst out laughing as the aesthetician moved the tool over my cheeks and forehead and my lip began uncontrollably quivering. She said this was normal but I could not keep a straight face — literally.
To finish it all off, I got a swipe of vegan collagen and moisturizer that smelt amazing and felt like it cooled down my skin — plus a few extra jawline pinches as a cherry on top and take-home exercises.
The facial exercise was founded with the goal to be a ‘middle ground between topical skincare and extreme procedures’
My skin stayed red for a few hours so I recommend giving yourself time between getting the service and facing the world.
My aesthetician told me the facial workout should be a bi-weekly routine. However, starting at $240 for their signature sculpt, this wouldn’t even fit into my quarterly wellness budget.
You can also become a member for $108 per month and receive special discounts.
The results are immediate and I’ll admit I saw less puffiness in my face and my aesthetician told me she has had celebrities come in for a session before hitting a big event. However, the effects only last between three and seven days.
VERDICT: I would never think of spending $240 twice a month for a service like this. If you want to try it once before taking the workout home with you, go for it. But I don’t think I could justify the prices of the tools either. My aesthetician was great and I don’t doubt she’s a skilled trainer, but I think I’ll just continue using eye cream and retinol and keep my workouts to pushups and crunches.
MOVING TO 'RELEASE TRAUMA', PRICE VARIES
This one has been targeting me on Instagram for weeks. Maybe it’s because I follow a few wellness influencers, but I finally surrendered to the algorithm and looked into it.
This is something I had no idea about, so I turned to professionals on the subject, which were few and far between.
Liz Tenuto, a leader in the field, told DailyMail.com somatic exercises are gentle movements that release stored trauma in the body while rewiring neural pathways. She believes talk therapy is not enough to heal trauma because the emotional or mental struggles people have endured get ‘stored’ inside their bodies.
She said: ‘The exercises get your body out of its biological stress response and bring your nervous system back into its natural, balanced state where all of the systems in your body are functioning optimally again.
‘Somatic therapy is a bottom-up therapeutic modality, which focuses on a person's body-based experiences instead of addressing cognitive [thought-based] processes. This is based on the understanding that emotions, stress and trauma are not just stored in the mind, but also in the body.
‘Somatic exercises are often the missing link to healing after trauma. This is why you can spend years in talk therapy and your body still feels awful.’
Like many Millennials, I have anxiety (surprise surprise). So I am no stranger to traditional talk therapy. I also do yoga, workout and go for long walks to try and calm my mind. I’ve even tried transcendental meditation.
But if I could heal any trauma I’ve experienced by doing a few exercise moves in my bed, I would save a lot of money at the psychologist’s office.
I was game.
I searched high and low for research on this type of therapy but there is virtually none.
Mariya Javed-Payne, a clinical social worker who practices this with clients, told DailyMail.com somatic therapy aims to find regions of the body where emotions or traumas live.
She said the goal of this psychotherapy is to access the ‘somatic sensory information and help discharge those stored experiences.’
And for people who would equate the moves, which can sometimes resemble yoga poses, to the workout, Javed-Payne said a person’s intention (physical exercise vs. emotional healing) is a major distinguishing aspect between the two.
To fully achieve the best results of somatic exercises, they should be practiced consistently over an extended period of time.
I only had a week to dedicate to the moves so I can’t say for certain if they healed any trauma, but I think they relaxed me? Maybe I would have had better success if I met with a coach and was guided through a process.
Some exercises I tried included laying on my back and flexing and releasing my feet, opening my hips by letting my legs fall open to each side and bending over and swinging my arms back and forth.
The first one made me more aware of some tension I was holding and the second felt like a nice stretch. The third just made me feel silly and my dog thought I was playing.
VERDICT: The jury is still out on this one. There is limited research on the benefits and people with true experience in the field were hard for me to find.
I’m sure taking time to relax and check in with your body is good for your mental health and maybe this could supplement traditional talk therapy, but it looks like I’m not canceling any future psychologist appointments just yet.