Study pinpoints people most likely to get ghosted - and how to stop your date doing it

Ghosting, the act of ignoring someone who you previously had a relationship with, is incredibly common in our digital age. 

It can happen amongst potential partners, friends or even family members.

Now, a study has shed light on the reasons why people do it. 

When asked by psychologists why they had ghosted someone, ghosters reported similar characteristics among their dates.

Specifically, they iced someone out because they found them to be 'pushy' and 'clingy'.

According to psychology website Psychcentral, up to a quarter of Americans have been ghosted. 

This data comes from 34 self-admitted ghosters who were interviewed in 2023 by clinical psychologists Karen Wu and Olajide Bamishigbin from California State University. 

The findings are echoed by another study by researchers at Roanoke college that that those with a fear of abandonment were more likely to get ghosted than those without attachment hang-ups. 

'One possibility is that they were clingy and that they emotionally drained their ex-partners, making those partners more likely to take the easy way out and avoid the drama of a straightforward breakup,' psychologist Gwendolyn Seidman told Psychology Today.

So, if you can do your best to exude confidence, independence and kindness with a potential mate, then you might be able to avoid being ghosted in the future, the research suggests.

'All you have control over is how you choose to communicate with the other person and the actions you take in response to their behavior,' licensed marriage and family therapist Omar Ruiz told Well+Good. 

After reviewing the California State study, clinical psychologist Barbara Greenberg said if all else fails, there are ways to know when to give up on a ghoster.

'If one or two of your attempts to interact are met with a lack of response, then move on from your ghoster. It is simply not a good fit,' she wrote. 

Men and women are equally likely to be perpetrators of ghosting, a study found

Wu and Bamishigbin interviewed the participants, who had ghosted either a romantic connection, friend or family member, to determine what their motivations were.

Some 97 percent of participants ghosted someone was because they didn't see a future with the person. 

They cited clinginess along with sheer incompatibility and inappropriate behavior as the reasons that they knew things wouldn't work out. 

As for why people ghost: around 88 percent of the participants ghosted was to avoid confrontation, and 53 percent ghosted because they didn't want something long term with their potential partner. 

One respondent said she ghosted because she knew that her potential partner, 'didn't want the same things as me, he wanted something way more than I could give him at that time.'

According to a survey of 5000 American adults, 47 percent of women admitted to ghosting someone versus 44 percent of men. 

Other psychologists note that if both people in a relationship communicate their needs early on, they're less likely to be disappointed and end up in a ghosting scenario. 

The lack of closure that a person gets from ghosting can cause great distress, psychologists said

'Communicating wants, needs and desires can be challenging, but these are essential qualities that are foundational to building lasting love and healthy relationships,' sexologist Diane Litam told Forbes. 

If it's any consolation for someone whose been ghosted, those who did the ghosting don't feel uniformly happy about it afterwards.

 After describing initial relief, most of the respondents reported feeling guilty, bad and regretful about their behaviors.

They recognized, to varying degrees, that they had hurt the people they ghosted. 

Reflecting back on his behavior, one 22-year old participant said, 'I don't think there's a good reason to ever ghost somebody…I mean you're at least robbing them of closure if you're robbing them of nothing else.'