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I'm a hospice nurse - these are the things everyone does before they die

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Maria Sinfield, an end of life nurse from Lancashire (pictured) has worked for end of life charity Marie Curie for a decade

Maria Sinfield, an end of life nurse from Lancashire (pictured) has worked for end of life charity Marie Curie for a decade

Death is the inevitable consequence of life that we will all face some day.

However, what is dying like? And what do those on the brink say or do in their final moments?

Here, hospice nurse Maria Sinfield shares with MailOnline what happens to your body as death approaches as well as the most common things people say and do towards the end.

The nurse, from Lancashire, has worked for end of life charity Marie Curie for a decade and has seen first hand what patients experience in their last days.

She says patients can get confused, hallucinate and even call out for loved ones who have already passed as they die.

Ms Sinfield, 64, also said families can find the last days of their loved-ones life 'frightening' as they witness their body slow and as they eat less.

She says it is critical to remember that everyone's experiences of end of life can be different.

However, Ms Sinfield added that although thinking about death can be hard, understanding what to expect can make it easier for the family.

End of life nurse explains patients can get confused, hallucinate and call out for loved ones who have already passed

End of life nurse explains patients can get confused, hallucinate and call out for loved ones who have already passed

Upon death your vital organs stop working, your brain and heart stop and you cease breathing. 

But, in many cases, this isn't sudden and during the process of dying the body begins to slow down as vital systems begin to weaken.

This can lead to a person losing consciousness and experiencing changes in their behaviour that can distress their loved ones, Ms Sinfield explains. 

'You gradually see over those last weeks and days, somebody really slows down and becomes very fatigued easily. Families might notice that the person sleeps more,' she says. 

She explains many people at the end of their life need to build their energy up to do even basic tasks, like having a conversation or eat a meal.

Ms Sinfield says the latter is often a key 'concern' for families, but explains this is normal. 

'Often the person is not using as much energy, they are not being as active, so they need less food and drink,' she says. 

She adds that as a person's body starts to slow down, they can also struggle to regulate their temperature and feeling unusually warm and cold, as their blood circulation starts to slow down. 

'It's important to just go with that individual person and how they are feeling at the time,' Ms Sinfield says. 

As a patient reaches their last few hours of life, Ms Sinfield explains their breathing pattern changes subtly, it becomes slower and shallow.

The breathing changes may be so small and gentle the family may not notice the patient has stopped breathing for longer periods, she says. 

'Sometimes when that breathing changes and the person has lost consciousness and they are not able to speak to the family anymore, they are unable to clear the secretions in the mouth or in the throat,' she says. 

This can cause a 'rattling noise' or a 'secretion noise', which can be 'very distressing' to hear. 

'That's not causing the person who is dying any distress or any pain,' Ms Sinfield says, adding that changing the person's position can help.

While death is natural, Ms Sinfield says she finds many people find the concept and process scary.

However, she doesn't shy away from talking about it openly and avoids using euphemisms such as 'fading away'.

Instead, she believes as a nurse she has a responsibility to be 'honest'. 

'I talk to families very openly about what to expect when their loved ones dying. I use that language as well,' she says.

'Families often want to protect their loved ones from death because they are frightened.' 

But it's not just the families that have to come to terms with death.

Many people at the end of their life feel they have to see people or make amends, Ms Sinfield says. 

'Some people are accepting that they are dying, but you can find other people may not be,' she says.

'Some people have things they want to do or say that they haven't done.

'I recall one particular patient who was upset because they needed to speak to a family member who they've not spoken to for some time, but we were able to get that family member to them. 

'They were really distressed prior to that and seeing the family member really made a difference, just to know that person was there.'

She has also witnessed cases, even in her own family, where people have called out to dead loved ones as if they are in the room with them.  

'From a very personal point, I was with my dad when he died and he called out for his mum and dad as though they were there,' she says. 

'He hadn't been confused or anything, he was in the last hours of life and lapsing in and out of consciousness.

'As a relative sat with him it was nice, I felt he was going to be secure and safe.'

In some cases patients can feel 'restless' and confused but making that person comfortable and providing support can help, Ms Sinfield explains. 

'Symptom management is key in end of life care to ensure that person is at the most comfortable without being over sedated,' she says. 

'There's a real balance of ensuring that we are giving that person the best quality of life that they can possibly have.'

Apart from medication this care also often includes emotional support. 

Ms Sinfield says that, naturally, some people can feel 'distressed' as death approaches.

But she notes that in many instances the patient just needs someone to talk to.

Ms Sinfield recalls one instance where a dying man was worrying about his wife and all he 'needed was just someone to listen and just to talk with him, and not being afraid to do that'. 

She adds that some people struggle with confusion at the end of their life, and this could be in the form of hallucinations which come on suddenly.

'Sometimes confusion can happen when someone has been deep asleep,' she says.

'In those last few hours that person could have lost consciousness, and then wake up from that, because that's what naturally happen, and then wake up in what seems like a strange environment.'

Marie Curie’s free support line is available to anyone with an illness they’re likely to die from and those close to them. 

It offers practical and emotional support on everything from symptom management and day-to-day care to financial information and bereavement support. 

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