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Who would you tell if you'd been diagnosed with cancer? Your family, close friends and colleagues, perhaps?
The fact that the Princess of Wales did not choose to inform the Duke and Duchess of Sussex of her bombshell news speaks volumes about the state of their relationship. Which is why, as I shall explain, it is now time for Harry and Meghan to seek forgiveness.
Prince Harry and his wife discovered that their sister-in-law Kate had cancer at the same time as the rest of the world – at 6pm on Friday, when Kensington Palace released her brave and moving video message.
That, as it happens, was about one hour and 30 minutes later than the royal correspondents, who were given the details in confidence so that they could prepare their news reports. They were trusted, evidently.
Prince Harry and his wife discovered that Kate had cancer at the same time as the rest of the world – at 6pm on Friday when Kensington Palace released her brave and moving video message
That neither Kate nor Prince William should let Prince Harry know would have been inconceivable just a few years ago.
Think back to all those jolly photographs and the television footage of those three – pre-Meghan – together.
Harry often had a broad smile on his face when they took part in their joint engagements. They shared jokes and teased each other light-heartedly.
That all changed after Harry met Meghan.
The first public appearance of the so-called 'Fab Four' in 2018 looked uncomfortable. Harry's expression when alongside William and Kate soon turned from one of playfulness into suspicion and something that looked like resentment
We were left in no doubt about how the brothers' relationship had broken down when Prince Harry and Meghan gave an interview to American chat show host Oprah Winfrey
The first public appearance of the so-called 'Fab Four' at the Royal Foundation Forum in 2018 looked uncomfortable. The body language was awkward.
Worse followed. Harry's expression when alongside William and Kate soon turned from one of playfulness into suspicion and something that looked like resentment.
We didn't know then how completely the brothers' relationship had broken down, although some had their suspicions.
But we were left in no doubt when Prince Harry and Meghan gave an interview to Oprah Winfrey, who had been a surprising guest at their wedding.
This was 2021 and grandmother Queen Elizabeth, remember, was still alive.
Among the many shocking claims was Meghan's accusation that Kate had made her cry in a dispute over dresses for the flower girls at the Sussexes' wedding.
More damaging, still, was the allegation that, among the Royal Family, there had been 'concerns and conversations about how dark' the skin of the child she was expecting at the time – Archie – would be.
Back in London, the response was outrage and disgust. When asked about Meghan's claims a few days later, William responded with barely suppressed fury. 'We are very much not a racist family,' he said, tersely.
The Royal Family's distress was heightened by the fact that the interview had been broadcast while Prince Philip was in hospital. He died just a month later.
As always, Kate remained silent in public, however much anguish she was suffering privately after the slurs across the Atlantic.
We saw what a natural diplomat she is when, following Prince Philip's funeral in Windsor, she could be seen talking to Harry as they left St George's Chapel before discreetly stepping back and allowing William to speak to his brother more privately.
Her kind efforts seemed to make little difference, however.
In fact, they were hurled back in her face by Harry and Meghan who made a tell-all 'docu-series' for Netflix, aiming yet more insults at the Royal Family.
These included Harry's suggestion that most men in the Royal Family married 'someone who would fit the mould' – while he, Harry, had dared to marry Meghan for love.
How could this not be taken as a cruel jibe at dutiful Kate?
Then, as if the Sussexes hadn't piled enough misery on William and Kate, came Harry's memoir, Spare. Published in January 2023, this was the greatest betrayal of all.
Painting his brother and sister-in-law as cold, heartless villains, the book revealed some of their most intimate conversations, as recalled by Prince Harry. William has chosen to maintain a dignified silence.
Since Kate disclosed her cancer diagnosis, there have been numerous suggestions that she and William should end their rift with Harry and Meghan.
Yet, before that can happen, the Sussexes must acknowledge the hurt they have caused and the damage done.
They should then apologise and beg forgiveness from Catherine and her husband, who deserve nothing less.
How cheering if, during Easter – a time of renewal – they could begin the renewal of their relationship with the Royal Family.
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