What's appropriate to wear to a black tie wedding and what's not? Etiquette, fashion and wedding experts break down dresses you should avoid - and warn against showing too much skin so you don't 'upstage the bride'

If you have black tie weddings coming up, it's entirely possible you've debated exactly what's appropriate these days. 

While it seems like dress codes are getting more relaxed, there are still specific rules around black tie attire, especially when it comes to attending weddings. 

On TikTok, people were divided about what a black tie dress code entails after wedding content creator Lauren Ladouceur, based in New York, shared a video with her 42,000 followers about what's appropriate. 

Lauren explained that her 'biggest wedding hot take is that people don't understand dress code,' and her commenters agreed that it was a difficult concept - so FEMAIL spoke to the content creator, as well as etiquette expert Myka Meier and wedding guest dress designers to find out what to wear.

On TikTok, people are divided about what a black tie dress code entails after wedding content creator Lauren Ladouceur shared a video about what's appropriate

Lauren explained that her 'biggest wedding hot take is that people don't understand dress code,' and her commenters agreed that it was a difficult concept 

FEMAIL also spoke to etiquette expert Myka Meier and wedding guest dress designers to find out what to wear

Lauren's commenters weighed in - and some were still confused by what black tie attire required

She showed her followers what not to wear, including cocktail dresses and flirty frocks that looked like sundresses, along with what is acceptable for a black tie wedding - longer, more formal gowns with a bit of personality in rich hues. 

Lauren's commenters weighed in - and some were still confused by what black tie attire required.  

'My hot take is that dress codes should come with Pinterest inspo boards so everyone is aligned,' one commenter announced. 

'Girl tell me HOW I was the ONLY WOMAN wearing a floor length gown to a black tie wedding a few months ago everyone else was in SUNDRESSES. Like??' another asked.

Lauren, who is hired by brides and grooms to take social media footage at their weddings, told DailyMail.com that 'before becoming a wedding content creator and attending weddings every weekend, I thought black tie just meant fancy, or to dress your best.' 

Now, she realizes that black tie wedding attendees need to think about walking a red carpet or attending a gala - and they must wear a floor length gown.

'Etiquette also dictates that you should have an arm or shoulder covering,' the content creator advised, before adding, 'But it's also not the 1950s anymore.'

Lauren constantly receives DMs from followers asking if dresses are wedding appropriate, and she says: 'The biggest disqualifying factors are length - to the ankle instead of floor length, neckline, and material.' 

And while Lauren says 'there are old tales and customs about not wearing red or black to a wedding,' many people opt for those hues now

Her 'rule of thumb is to wear darker, jewel-toned colors,' and to never, ever wear white

While there are plenty of ways to be playful with a gown, the biggest mistake Lauren sees guests make is wearing a shorter hemline

The content creator also advises against relaxed fabrics like the sundress above

However, there are specific exceptions to the rule, like creative black tie.

'This is where the rules begin to relax a little - not on hemline, but a dress with feathers or lace embellishments,' she explained.

To avoid miscommunication, Lauren tells the couples she works with to create an inspiration style guide on their wedding website.

While Lauren says 'there are old tales and customs about not wearing red or black to a wedding,' many people opt for those hues now. 

Her 'rule of thumb is to wear darker, jewel-toned colors,' and to never wear white. 

While there are plenty of ways to be playful with a gown, the biggest mistake she sees guests make is wearing a shorter hemline.  

'At several weddings I worked as a wedding content creator, the couple felt disrespected that their guests didn't observe the dress code,' Lauren said. 

'It's less about an individual fashion decision and more about being a good wedding guest.

'If you're really struggling with a dress code decision, ask the couple getting married.' 

Etiquette expert Myka Meier, based in New York City and pictured above, told DailyMail.com: 'A black tie dress code specifically means floor-length gowns'

'Anything cocktail or tea length (mid calf) is not considered black tie,' Myka, who's a pro at black tie dressing in her personal life, explained to FEMAIL 

Etiquette expert Myka Meier, based in New York City, told DailyMail.com: 'A black tie dress code specifically means floor-length gowns.'

'Anything cocktail or tea length (mid calf) is not considered black tie.'

'A black tie dress code is 6 p.m. onward - anything before 6 p.m. would simply be formal attire, with no tux or gown required,' Myka clarified, adding that the biggest sparkles and boldest jewelry also comes out after the sun goes down. 

When it comes to footwear, it's a bit more relaxed, and guests can rock open or closed toe heels. 

'Small evening bags or clutches are recommended, as the more formal the event, the smaller the bag,' Myka said. 

As for material, opt for silks, tulles, sparkles, and sequins, and stay away from linen or cotton. 

'In terms of silhouette, as long as it's floor-length, it's likely appropriate,' Myka said, adding, 'from ball gown to fishtail, anything goes.' 

All sorts of tops are acceptable, from strapless to cap sleeves, but she advised: 'Keep in mind it may be a religious event and you want to be cautious about the amount of skin shown to come across respectful.'

'You also never want to upstage the bride with anything too revealing,' Myka warned. 

Dana Towsey, head of product development at Petal & Pup, suggested 'floor-length dresses in luxe fabrics with special details like bold draping, pleats, and shoulder-baring silhouettes'

'Typically Black tie is the fanciest of wedding types and it's a great time to make a statement,' Dana said

Dana advised guests to opt for rich tones like navy, olive, and black, while 'saving mini dresses and more casual dresses in cotton and linens'

Dana Towsey, based in San Francisco, California, is the head of product development at Petal & Pup, which has an entire section on the site devoted to black tie gowns for wedding guest dresses.

'Typically black tie is the fanciest of wedding types and it's a great time to make a statement,' she said, suggesting 'floor-length dresses in luxe fabrics with special details like bold draping, pleats, and shoulder-baring silhouettes.' 

Dana advised guests to opt for navy, olive, and black, while 'saving mini dresses and more casual dresses in cotton and linens.'

Azazie's creative director Daniel Sanchez is behind the brand's wedding gowns, bridesmaid dresses, and wedding guest dresses.

Daniel explained that 'the only rule is to make sure the dress is floor length,' and otherwise, guests can express themselves with full glam and 'experiment with texture, silhouette and rich color.'

'Keep your dress's embellishment tasteful and avoid flashy details,' Daniel advised. 

'Black-tie dressing looks best when viewed by candlelight.' 

'If making a color statement with your dress, opt for jewel-tones hues in satin or velvet,' Daniel continued, advising against prints and ivory or pastel dresses, and instead suggesting couture details like draping or bias cuts.