Glamorous LA author Patric Gagne says she's proud to be a sociopath who's 'mostly immune to remorse and guilt': Reveals she felt little emotion after the birth of her son

From the outside, Patric Gagne appears to be a regular, middle-class LA mom-of-two. Her Instagram page, peppered with images of her and her kids, projects an image of a typical doting mom.

But there is one key difference: Gagne is a 'highly manipulative' sociopath who 'is capable of almost anything' by her own admission.

She has now written a memoir detailing how she struggles to identify with many human emotions, frankly sharing that she is 'mostly immune to remorse and guilt.'

Among her startling confessions is the apathy she felt over the birth of her son. 

'I was not overcome with emotion. I didn’t get the profound surge of "perfect" love I’d been promised. ... I was unable to connect with my feelings — I was furious,' Gagne wrote in her memoir in an extract share with the LA Times.

From the outside, Patric Gagne appears to be a regular, middle-class LA mom-of-two but she has long known she is a sociopath

 Among her startling confessions is the apathy she felt over the birth of her son, describing her 'fury' at not being able to feel the 'perfect love' promised

She has now written a memoir detailing how she struggles to identify with many human emotions, frankly sharing that she is 'mostly immune to remorse and guilt'

The 48-year-old is among one of around 13.7 million Americans who are sociopaths, according to the Cleveland Clinic.

The clinic describes sociopathy, or Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) as a mental health condition, 'that can affect the way you think and interact with others'.

'It’s common for people diagnosed with ASPD to show a lack of respect toward others, break the law, ignore the consequences of their actions or refuse to take responsibility. 

'ASPD can be dangerous since you’re at a high risk of causing physical or emotional harm to yourself and those around you.'

While she is keen to dispel the popular perception of sociopaths propagated in media and pop culture, Gagne admits her early years were marked by a desire for violence and crime. 

'This impulse felt like an unrelenting pressure that expanded to permeate my entire self,' Gagne wrote in The Wall Street Journal.

'The longer I tried to ignore it, the worse it got. My muscles would tense, my stomach would knot. Tighter. Tighter.

'It was claustrophobic, like being trapped inside my brain. Trapped inside a void.'

One of the first instances she can recall is the time she stabbed a child in second grade with a pencil.

Or the time when she stole a classmate's pink barrette from her hair, not because she coveted the item, but to help deal with the 'nothingness' she felt.

The 48-year-old is among one of around 13.7 million Americans who are sociopaths, according to the Cleveland Clinic

While she is keen to dispel the popular perception of sociopaths propagated in media and pop culture, Gagne admits her early years were marked by a desire for violence and crime

It was not just childhood, while attending UCLA she would often break into homes for the sheer thrill, or go on joy rides before returning the car - sometimes with a full tank of gas. 

Gagne is keen to point out that not all sociopaths are 'dangerous criminals.' She hopes her candid confessions will help others with 'limited access' to their emotions.

She has described her experiences as a young child, feeling no remorse after being caught stealing no matter how hard she tried but also not fearing the repercussions. 

After years of studying and examining the link between not feeling remorse, anxiety, apathy and stress with the need to 'behave destructively,' Gagne was able to diagnose and control her impulses and become a wife and mother.

She studied the disorder for years, did intensive therapy and earned a Ph.D. in psychology before she came to terms with her disorder and realized sociopaths aren't 'bad' or 'evil' or 'crazy,'' they just don't process feelings and emotions as well as others.

'For more than a century, society has deemed sociopathy untreatable and unredeemable,' Gagne wrote.

'The afflicted have been maligned and shunned by mental health professionals who either don't understand or choose to ignore the fact that sociopathy—like many personality disorders—exists on a spectrum.'

Scientists still aren't sure about what causes sociopathy, which is now more commonly called antisocial personality disorder by psychologists.

'I don’t care what other people think. I’m not interested in morals,' Gagne admits, but reveals how understanding her condition has helped her control her impulses

Gagne has been able to become a wife and mother but still struggles to understand the neurotypical view of the world at times

They believe people are more likely to develop the disorder if they have a family history of sociopathy or had a traumatic experience in their childhood.

As an adult, when Gagne shares her diagnosis with others, they sometimes tell her their own often disturbing secrets.

Gagne told The New York Times that about two years ago she was sitting across from a man at a dinner party and when she mentioned that she is a sociopath, he told her: 'You know, I have thoughts of killing my wife a lot.'

She asked him to tell her more, and he said: 'I've really thought about it. I've reached out to people about hiring somebody to kill her.'

People assume that Gagne is sympathetic to their plights, she told the outlet, because they think she would relate to them.

The term sociopath wasn't formally recognized as a disorder until the 1930s when it was called psychopathy, but still wasn't commonly discussed until 1952 when the term changed to sociopathy.

A person with sociopathy is not always easy to spot - they can come off as friendly and charming, but their lack of a conscience and empathy, their disregard for following rules and other societal norms, their reckless disregard for their own safety, and their impulsive and aggressive tendencies make them stand out.

'I don’t care what other people think. I’m not interested in morals,' Gagne admits.

'I’m not interested, period. Rules do not factor into my decision making. I’m capable of almost anything.'