My ex-husband is demanding I change my surname back to my MAIDEN name after 12 YEARS - because his 24-year-old fiancée is jealous I still use it

A mom has questioned if she is an a**hole for refusing to change her last name back to her maiden name now that her ex-husband is getting remarried. 

The 39-year-old took to Reddit to air her frustrations against her husband, 38, after he demanded she go back to her maiden name because his fiancée, 24, felt uncomfortable with her still keeping his name. 

She noted that she didn't want to go back to her last name, despite she and her ex being divorced because she wanted to keep the same last name as her children. 

In a thread titled, 'Am I an A**hole,' she questioned if she was in the wrong for keeping her ex-husband's last name. 

A mom has questioned if she is an a**hole for refusing to change her last name back to her maiden name now that her ex-husband is getting remarried (stock image)

The post was titled: 'My (39F) Ex husband (37M) is insisting I change my last name back to my maiden name because his new fiancé (24F) feels it will be awkward for her and I to have the same last name. Am I the a**hole for refusing to change it?'  

The mom wrote: 'My (39F) ex-husband (38M) has been dating this women for three years. For context, she is 24 years old. My ex and I were married for 12 years, and have been divorced for five years, we have three kids together who are now teenagers. 

'My ex and I got divorced because we were young when we met and got married and we grew apart as people. It was a mutual decision, and we agreed our kids came first and have always coparented very well.' 

She explained that she and her ex had a mutual split and they had kept a good relationship with their kids - until he found a new woman. 

'This has been the case up until the last year when his girlfriend moved in with him. Previously we would do holidays and kids birthdays together, now when she is present they won’t even sit near me at our kids sporting events. I have always been nice to this women, despite my kids expressing they do not like her and they feel their dad acts differently when she is around. 

'My ex told me early on she wasn’t a fan of me and felt I intimidated her. When I asked him for examples of how intimidated her, he said it’s my face, that I have resting b***h face and it makes her uncomfortable,' the Reddit user said. 

During the divorce, the exes had agreed that she could keep his last name because she didn't want to have a different last name from her children. 

However, now that he has since gotten engaged again to a 24-year-old who feels 'intimidated' by his ex keeping her lover's last name, he has demanded she change it back to her maiden name. 

The 39-year-old took to Reddit to air her frustrations against her husband, 38, after he demanded she go back to her maiden name because his fiancée, 24, felt uncomfortable 

She added: 'My ex called me yesterday saying he is giving me a heads up that I have a year to change my last name back to my maiden name as his finance is expressing her distaste and concern for her and I to have the same last name when they get married. 

'I told him we agreed in our divorce that I could keep his last name until I felt the need to change it, and that is what is listed in our paperwork. I also told him I don’t want to have a different last name than our kids.' 

However, despite giving her ex her reasoning as to why she doesn't want to go back to her maiden name, he is still continuing to cause a fuss about it. 

Her ex-husband accused her of being 'unreasonable' and begged her to see his new lover's perspective. 

She said: 'He said I’m being unreasonable and refusing to see how this would make his fiancée uncomfortable. I told him I can’t see it from her side because I am a grown up, and not an immature child like she is. He told me I could ask anyone about this situation, and everyone would agree with her. 

'So, am I the a**hole for refusing to change my last name to make her happy?' 

People flooded the comments section and ran to the mom's defense. 

People flooded the comments section and ran to the mom's defense

One person said: 'Not the a**hole. Tell him you'll only consider changing your last name back to your maiden name if you can change the kids last names also.

'If he doesn't agree. He can sit on it and rotate.' 

'The solution is pretty simple. He can change his last name to his fiancée’s. Problem solved,' someone else wrote. 

Another user added: 'My mother has been divorced from my father for a little over 50 years. She still has his last name and he has no problem with it. NTA. They’re both acting immature. That is your legal last name. If it’s not stated in the divorce decree that you would change it, they can both kick rocks.' 

'Easy for him to say when he doesn’t have to do any of the paperwork or deal with any of the fallout. He can pound sand,' someone else added. 

'He can take new girlfriend‘s name then! Problem solved. The future new wife and you won’t have the same “married name”,' another person added. 

Someone else added: 'This right here. He chose to marry an immature woman, he can deal with her. Her "concerns" are not OP's problems.' 

'NTA. It’s not his name anymore; it’s your name. If his fiancé doesn’t want to have the same last name as you, that’s fine. She doesn’t have to take his name. Or they can change both of their names to Mr. and Mrs. Big Crybaby. But no, he does not have the right to force you to change your name. Your feelings don’t matter less than hers just because she’s the new Mrs. Crybaby,' one user commented. 

The unnamed mom has since shared an update on Reddit about her last name fiasco and revealed that her ex-husband has finally seen her perspective and agreed that she can keep his last name.