Real-life Wolf of Wall Street Jordan Belfort's ex-wife reveals her emotional DIARY ENTRIES from the time of their very messy first split - as she admits: 'I was so screwed up'

The real-life ex-wife of the Wolf of Wall Street has read her diary entries from when she first left the financial crook, in which she spoke in detail about her 'severe intimacy problems' and admitted that she was 'terrified' to date again following her 'dangerous' marriage to the financial crook.

Nadine Macaluso, 56, who now works as a marriage counselor and family therapist in Florida, met Jordan Belfort, 61, when she was just 22 years old and working as a model.

The two soon became engulfed in a whirlwind romance, tying the knot in 1991 and welcoming two children together - before they ultimately divorced in 2005 after 14 years of marriage.

After they went their separate ways, Nadine accused the broker of physical and mental abuse, which she said was fueled by his rampant drug addiction and multiple infidelities.

The real-life ex-wife of the Wolf of Wall Street has read her diary entries from when she first left the financial crook, in which she spoke in detail about her 'severe intimacy problems'

Nadine Macaluso, 56, who now works as a marriage counselor and family therapist in Florida, met Jordan Belfort, 61, when she was just 22 years old and working as a model 

The two soon became engulfed in a whirlwind romance, tying the knot in 1991 and welcoming two children together, before they ultimately divorced in 2005 after 14 years of marriage 

Now, the mother-of-two read some of her intimate diary entries on TikTok from the first few months after her divorce from Jordan in the hopes of showing others how 'screwed up' she was - and 'how far she's come' since then

Now, the mother-of-two read some of her intimate diary entries on TikTok from the first few months after her divorce from Jordan in the hopes of showing others how 'screwed up' she was - and 'how far she's come' since then.

'Hi guys, so today I'm gonna do a little show and tell. This is the journal from when I was 30, 26 years ago,' she explained in a video shared to the platform earlier this week.

'When I left my ex-husband, the Wolf of Wall Street, I did some deep journaling to help me heal. 

'I just wanted to read to you some pieces from it because it really makes you realize how screwed up I was back then and how far I've come. Hopefully that will give you hope.'

One of the entries read, 'Tonight I realized I have severe intimacy problems. I'm terrified of really making a go of it, putting myself out there and totally getting rejected. My defense mechanisms are so ingrained that I do not even see them.'

Another one said, 'Welcome to the rollercoaster of my life. One day I think something and the next day I think something else. Maybe that is the problem. Maybe I just have to feel.'

'I played it safe and look how dangerous it became,' Nadine wrote in a different part of the diary. 

'Now I must build my own road, decorate my own soul, and plant my own garden.'

'When I left my ex-husband, I did some deep journaling to help me heal,' she shared. 'It really makes you realize how screwed up I was back then and how far I've come'

One entry read, 'I have severe intimacy problems. I'm terrified of putting myself out there and getting rejected. My defense mechanisms are so ingrained that I do not even see them'

Their relationship was portrayed in the 2013 flick Wolf of Wall Street, which starred Leonardo DiCaprio as Jordan and Margot Robbie as Nadine, who was renamed Naomi for the movie

Jordan (left portrayed by Leonardo in the movie and right in real life) spent 22 months in prison after it was revealed he had scammed more than 1,500 people

While reflecting on it, Nadine told her followers, 'If you've just left a trauma bond... this just goes to show how confusing it can feel.

'But a journal is your best friend because the pages don't judge. It can connect you to your authentic self.'

Nadine and Jordan's relationship - as well as his illicit stock market scheme, which saw him steal nearly $200 million from investors - was portrayed in the wildly popular 2013 flick Wolf Of Wall Street, which was based off the book he wrote. The movie starred Leonardo DiCaprio as Jordan and Margot Robbie as Nadine, who was renamed Naomi for the movie.

Jordan went on to spend 22 months in prison after it was brought to light that he had scammed more than 1,500 people through the elaborate stock market con in 1999. 

Nadine has become a viral TikTok star in recent months for spilling numerous secrets about their marriage, revealing which scenes of the Martin Scorsese film were accurate and which were exaggerated, and using her experience to give others who may be dealing with unhealthy relationships advice.

In a video that gained traction last month, she opened up about what she did with the only item that she was left with after she split from the criminal - a set of Louis Vuitton suitcases - since she said they had to turn everything else over to the government.

But instead of using them for travel, she decided to turn them into furniture pieces - which she still has in her house even now, decades on.

'When I left the Wolf, I gave all my personal belongings - my jewelry, homes, etc. - back to the government,' she said in the clip. 'But guess what the government didn't want? My Louis Vuitton luggage. 

'But I didn't want it either. Who needs hard luggage? And luggage that doesn't have wheels?'

Nadine explained that she had a knack for 'interior designing,' so she decided to repurpose the luggage into something that she felt would be much more useful.

She transformed the designer bags into a set of two chairs and a table, which she proudly showed off in the TikTok video. 

In a video that gained traction last month, she opened up about what she did with the only item that she was left with after she split from the criminal 

Instead of using them for travel, she decided to turn them into furniture pieces - which she still has in her house even now, decades on 

'I took an old chair and I reupholstered it with the Louis Vuitton luggage,' she dished, as she turned the camera to reveal the stunning furniture. 'And then I took the old suitcase and put legs on it to make it a table.'

Nadine has become a viral TikTok star for spilling numerous secrets about their marriage and using her experience to give others who may be dealing with unhealthy relationships advice 

Nadine spoke exclusively to DailyMail.com about her newfound TikTok fame in February, and she admitted that Jordan was not happy with her after he discovered that she was discussing their relationship online.

But she insisted that she was not 'using the Wolf engine' to 'disparage him,' but rather, to share her 'side of things' and 'empower women.'

'Initially, he did not like it,' she shared. 'He [still] does not love it but I think he's come to accept it.

'Here's the thing, I'm not doing this at all to disparage him. Why would I do that to my children?

'I'm just expressing my narrative and my side of things. And like I said, at the end of the day, the good news is, we're all okay now.

'I'm really using the Wolf engine to educate women about trauma bonds. And to empower them.' 

She has since remarried, and has been with her new husband, John Macaluso, who has three kids from a past relationship, for 23 years. 

The author also told DailyMail.com that she was terrified when she found out they were going to make a movie about her and Jordan's romance.

She spoke exclusively to DailyMail.com about her newfound TikTok fame last month, and admitted that Jordan was not happy with her after he discovered her videos 

She insisted that she was not 'using the Wolf engine' to 'disparage him,' but rather, to share her 'side of things' and 'empower women.' She and Jordan are seen during their relationship 

As for how she found a way to become amicable with Jordan, she told DailyMail.com that she had to make an 'adult choice' to put their children first 

She said she was 'so nervous' about 'how she was going to be portrayed' because she didn't think the director, Martin, loved women.

'I thought about how he sometimes portrays women,' she explained. 'And I had no say or input.

'That's a very crazy situation to be in - you're going to get portrayed for the whole world to see, but you have no input on how they're gonna do it.'

The former model recently released a book entitled Run Like Hell: A Therapist's Guide To Recognizing, Escaping, And Healing From Trauma Bonds as a bid to help survivors 'go on to have healthy, positive relationships and lives, armed with knowledge and awareness' 

Nadine added that she did 'a lot of therapy' to prepare herself for it, and ultimately 'surrendered.'

Despite her initial nerves, Nadine recalled feeling relieved when she watched it for the first time. 

'It's maybe not exactly the way I would [tell the story], that wasn't my narrative or the way I saw myself through that whole experience, but it was fine,' she added. 'I was totally okay with it. It wasn't that bad.'

As for how she found a way to become amicable with Jordan, she said she had to make an 'adult choice' to put their children first.

'[After the split] I took my kids to California and he was in New York. I had a lot of time away from him and a lot of time to heal,' she explained.

'Because we had children together I made a choice, really, as their mother, to keep a good relationship with him, the best that I could. 

'That doesn't mean we've always gotten along, but in the end, we've always put our kids first because we have an obligation to them. 

'We brought them into the world. How I feel towards him is different than how he behaves towards my kids, so as long as he's a good dad [that's what matters].'