Men set up rival to the 'Are we Dating the Same Guy?' Facebook group that exposes cheating partners - as experts warn anyone posting anonymously could still be unmasked

Men are fighting back against a women's Facebook page which exposes 'red flags' about ex-partners - as anonymous female members are warned they could still be unmasked and sued if their posts make 'false and damaging allegations'.

'Are We Dating the Same Guy?' was set up in New York in 2022 as a private forum for women to warn each other of 'men who might be liars, cheaters, abusers or exhibit any type of toxic or dangerous behaviour'.

And while it is used primarily as a way for women to help each other, some men have launched lawsuits in the US over false allegations that were made about them on the group. 

In the past two years, the popular female-only group has spread across the world, with woman in London, LA, Chicago and Brisbane, prompting men to launch their own equivalent groups to expose cheating partners.

A public group called 'Are We Dating the Same Girl?' has racked up just under 24,000 members in the last year, while another named 'Are We Dating the Same Woman? was set up just 14 weeks ago.

A third group called 'Victims of Are We Dating the Same Person (guy/girl)' was also launched in September as a 'place to defend yourself' against defamatory posts. 

The original female page was set up as place where women could post screenshots of men they have matched with on dating apps as they call on others to 'dish the tea' - Gen Z slang for 'dishing the dirt', 'spilling the beans' or sharing gossip. 

Women have the opportunity to post anonymously but Rory Lynch, defamation lawyer at Gateley, told MailOnline: 'It is possible for women in the UK to be sued over Facebook posts that make false and damaging allegations about a former date.

'A word of warning: an anonymous profile may not protect the poster – specialist cyber firms can often unmask the real identity of the anonymous poster, then allowing them to be sued.'

A Facebook group called Are We Dating the Same Guy? has taken the UK by storm. It has gathered more than 88,000 followers

 

But men are fighting back with a Facebook page of their own called 'Are We Dating The Same Girl? They share photos of women and write posts such as: 'Be cautious about this one.'

It comes as men in the US have launched lawsuits over the women's page. Nikko D'Ambrosio, 33, has filed a lawsuit after a 'Are we dating the same guy?' Facebook page outed him for his alleged red flag behaviour

Dan Jennings, partner and defamation expert at law firm, Shakespeare Martineau, added that 'although the internet may seem like the wild west at times, real world laws still apply'.

He told MailOnline: 'Users can't hide behind fake profile pictures or indecipherable usernames when it comes to personal comments, and everybody should be sure that what they post online is the truth.'

'With a variety of claims made on this webpage, ranging from cheating allegations to accusations of serious crimes such as rape and abuse, the outcome for a defamation case could include many thousands of pounds in damages plus legal costs.'

Other members of the group have also used the page in a desperate plea for help, including an American woman who accused her British husband - former reality star chef Charles Withers - of 'ghosting' her and their two children while she was pregnant. 

The 'Are We Dating The Same Girl?' page follows a similar format to the women's equivalent. Men share screenshots of women and write things such as: 'Be cautious about this one.' 

A victims page for men and women has also been created.  It says: 'This is not AWDTSG [Are We Dating The Same Guy?], we don't do tea and toxicity. This is a place for people who have had their reputation unfairly ruined by AWDTSG groups that allow anyone to say anything they want without proof.'

It comes after British legal experts told MailOnline that women in the UK must be 'very cautious' with what they write - and that false allegations could land you with a hefty legal bill.

Examples of posts include members sharing photos of men and writing: 'Any red flags?' This has prompted other women to share their stories and tell one another to 'avoid'. 

One man, whose picture was shared on the London page with the caption 'any tea?', told his followers in a TikTok video: 'What in the name of GDPA, gender data protection breach is going on here. Because what buffoon is putting me on this 'Are We Dating the Same Guy?' 

'They're not even dating me! I'm not dating at this moment of time, I'm pretty much single, not talking to nobody so who in their right mind has done this?'

Another 27-year-old man from London was alerted to posts on the group about him which said he was 'too pushy'. He said a woman came back to his house and 'acted weird' before leaving.

He told Vice last year: 'I knew I was in that group because I heard it from multiple sources and obviously her side doesn't match my side. We had a miscommunication and then I'm hearing from girls I grew up with that I'm a creep or that I did something. I don't think these groups are helpful to anyone.'

Media law expert Jay Joshi of Taylor Hampton Solicitors told MailOnline if the allegation causes 'serious harm to the reputation' of the man, they could be exposed claims of libel and misuse of private information.

'It's no different to whether it's on this Facebook page or some other group,' he explained. 'It's the same thing applies to any statements published on social media platforms.

'If you make statements that are untrue and it affects one's reputation in a serious way, then they are going to be exposed.'

There are various defences individuals can rely on in the UK which are truth and honest opinion. The former is if the publisher can show a statement published is 'substantially true' and the latter is if they can prove that it is true.

Mr Joshi said the same principle of defamation applies to users who comment on posts, adding: 'If the statements are untrue - in other words someone's claiming that they went on a date with someone when in fact that in itself is wholly untrue - then that's a statement that could potentially be libellous.'

The senior associate warned women 'have to be very cautious', adding: 'The more serious the allegation, the more serious the claim could be. The reality is no one should be publishing statements that are serious and untrue about an individual and by simply doing that you're already exposing yourself to a claim.'

He also said users 'can't hide behind' the fact they are making posts on social media platforms - even if it is a less informal setting.

Speaking about the financial repercussions, he added: 'There's no sort of science approach to this, it very much depends on the extent of the impact and the gravity of the statements, and, moreover, the sort of general conduct of the maker of the statements.

'Is this just one statement? Is it several statements? Repeating allegations or the same allegations through a course of conduct... all of these factors can play to it.  And of course it will be down to the the claimant to tell the court or to give to show evidence of the impact it's had on them and their reputation.

Ashley McGuire, from Massachusetts, took to Facebook's popular Are We Dating The Same Guy? group to make several shocking claims about famous chef Charles Withers

Mother-of-two Ashley claimed that he was 'gone without a trace' and said that she now wants to harness the 'power' of social media to track him and finalise a divorce 

Above are examples of the kind of posts that women - often anonymous - put in the group. Lawyers have warned that they could still be unmasked and sued despite being anonymous. MailOnline has muzzed the faces of the men

'And the greater the impact again, that's going to be a factor that plays into the size of the award.' He said it can be 'in the thousands' but that it is 'very difficult to assess'.

Kishan Pattni, specialising in defamation and reputation management at national law firm Freeths, told MailOnline that a breach of libel and privacy will depend on 'what is said exactly and the size of the Facebook audience'. 

He explained: 'For example, if a serious allegation in the group, say sexual assault, is factually put to a lot of people but cannot be proven, that could expose the discloser to a libel claim because it will have caused serious harm to her date's reputation.'

Speaking about the financial burden posters could face, he said: 'The compensation figures for successful libel/privacy claims in England are significantly lower than in the US. Here, the award will broadly depend on the gravity of the disclosure in its full context. 

'Privacy damages tend to be lower than libel generally, but being on the wrong side of a claim or defence could cost thousands of pounds, not just in compensation but legal fees too. 

'In libel especially, the compensation will help to vindicate an injured reputation but for the date who sues and loses, that reputation could be irreparably damaged under the glare of a public court process.' 

Alanah Tannous, a legal expert on reputation and privacy at Vardags, told MailOnline: 'Seeking camaraderie and comfort in an online group is understandable and may even help expose disreputable conduct, but... the same rules apply on the internet as they do in the real world - so staying within the law, sticking to the truth and speaking honestly about your experiences - is critical. If not, users could find themselves exposed to a claim in defamation.' 

With the Facebook page now reaching hundreds of thousands of women across the world, American bachelors are now hitting back with lawsuits.

Stewart Lucas Murrey, from Santa Monica, alleged that he was subject to a barrage of false and defamatory posts and comments on the forum. But his case was dismissed by a judge

The lawsuit stems from the social media group, which currently has more than 52,500 members, where daters issue warnings about potentially harmful or deceitful men

Stewart Lucas Murrey, from Santa Monica, Los Angeles, sued more than 50 female members of the group over claims he was labelled a murderer and accused of having STIs in a series of brutal posts.

He alleged that he was subjected to a barrage of false and defamatory posts and comments in the online group.

He sued dozens of potential suitors on a variety of charges including defamation, sex-based discrimination, intentional infliction of emotional distress, libel, invasion of privacy.

However, on Tuesday afternoon a judge dismissed the lawsuit, ruling in favour of Vanessa Valdez - a woman Murrey had connected with on Hinge. 

The women argued they had done nothing wrong by posting their personal opinions in a private online group on social media.

The judge found no evidence of conspiracy on the women's part and granted an Anti-SLAPP motion - which protects those who speak out on matters of public interest against abusive lawsuits made to silence them.

'Just feels really good to be dismissed from all counts, it wasn't just the two counts of defamation, but all 11 counts be filed against me,' Valdes said during a press conference.

Olivia Berger was another one of the defendants being sued after matching with Murrey on Tinder in 2021. The pair met up but she told KTLA that he 'ranted about conspiracy theories' and appeared 'arrogant and smug'.

Olivia, who said it was 'the typical bad date behaviour,' then took to the private Are We Dating The Same Guy? group to share her experience with other women.

Elaborating further at a recent press conference, she claimed the posts 'were factual and they were based on our true experiences'. 'He found those comments and decided to come forth with this lawsuit,' she added.

She also alleged that the majority of the 50-plus women named in the lawsuit had not ever met Murrey in person - and instead had only made passing comments or 'reacted' to posts about him.

Murrey had previously shared a written statement with the local news outlet with extracts including: 'For years, key defendants obsessively tracked, stalked and incited harassment against me.

'These are women with whom I had little to no interaction. In every case of interaction, I rejected each one of them and cut them off, quite swiftly.

'Instead of going their separate ways, they went on for months and years to spread misinformation about me and countless others. Their actions were deliberate, and now they are playing the victims.'

The lawsuit claims that Murrey had tried to join the group to defend himself on multiple occasions but was consistently denied entry. 

In January, a man from Chicago also sued members from the 'Are We Dating the Same Guy?' Facebook page after the group outed him for his alleged red flag behaviour.

Nikko D'Ambrosio, 33, filed a lawsuit after a 'Are we dating the same guy?' Facebook page outed him for his alleged red flag behaviour 

D'Ambrosio was posted about on the Chicago page by multiple women - who all agreed he was not a great guy to date - some calling him 'clingy' and others claiming he 'ghosted' them after sex

Along with defamation - D'Ambrosio is claiming intentional infliction of emotional distress, invasion of privacy by false light, civil liability for doxxing, misappropriation, unjust enrichment and public disclosure of private facts

Nikko D'Ambrosio, 33, had his name and photo included in some harsh posts on a Facebook group used by women to warn each other about men on the dating scene. 

D'Ambrosio was posted about on the Chicago page by multiple women - who claimed he was not a great guy to date - with some calling him 'clingy' and others claiming he 'ghosted' them after sex.

He has now enlisted the help of lawyers, and they are building a defamation lawsuit against over 27 women, one man, Meta and other social media companies, according to documents seen by Today.

Along with defamation - D'Ambrosio is claiming intentional infliction of emotional distress, invasion of privacy by false light, civil liability for doxxing, misappropriation, unjust enrichment and public disclosure of private facts.

Among the defendants named are dozens of women and moderators in the groups.

'The defendants broadcast their outrageous, cruel, and malicious lies about the plaintiff with knowledge that the statements were false or with reckless disregard as whether or not they were true,' the complaint reads. 

Are We Dating the Same Guy? is also used to seek general dating advice, with the option of being anonymous offered.

Ashley McGuire, from Massachusetts, has used the Facebook page to make several incredible accusations about ex-reality star chef Mr Withers.

The mother-of-two accused her husband of 'ghosting' her and their two children, claiming that he fled to a different state to start a new life while she was pregnant with their second baby.

Using the Facebook group to enlist the help of internet sleuths to track him down, she said: 'He has one baby he hasn't seen in over a year and one he's never met.' 

She wrote that he was 'gone without a trace' and that she now wanted to harness the 'power' of social media to track him down and finalise a divorce.

After internet sleuths came to her rescue, she revealed in a follow-up post: 'I've gotten MORE than enough information to locate him.' 

Are We Dating The Same guy has not only taken off across major cities such as London and LA, but there have also been regional groups created as well.

These include groups covering Bristol, Cardiff, Swindon, Nottingham, Derby Leicester, Hampshire, Bournemouth, Leeds and Norfolk to name a few.

The London group states: 'This group is a place for women to protect and empower other women while warning each other of men who might be liars, cheaters, abusers, or exhibit any type of toxic or dangerous behaviour.

'We strive to cultivate an atmosphere of female empowerment, acceptance, and support and will not tolerate any bullying, gaslighting, shaming, victim blaming, or aggressive behaviour towards any other girls in the group.'

The group's rules also highlight that 'mean spirited or judgmental comments' will not be tolerated, especially in relation to a person's appearance.

'This group is not about hating men,' it emphasises.

There is a list of 10 strict rules which include users being forbidden from screenshotting or sharing content from the group.

It states: 'You will be permanently banned from this group and all affiliated groups if you: Tell any men about them being posted in this group, Share anything posted in this group outside of this group, Mention this group or the existence of groups like this on social media, on a podcast, on the radio, to the media, anywhere in public, or to any male friends. 

'We do all we can but there is always risk in speaking up. Be mentally prepared for the things you say here to get back to who you wrote about. 

Users are also told to not include a 'single remotely negative word or phrase' in the actual post. They are told to be 'vague' and 'then put all of the details in the comments'.

The page also says it is about 'protecting women, not judging men' and that 'mean, judgmental, or unnecessary comments' will get you banned. Users are also warned against infringing libel, defamation and copyright.