Taylor Swift sings about 'feeling suicidal' in new album The Tortured Poets Department following heartbreaking split from ex

Tracks on The Tortured Poets Department 

1. Fortnight (feat. Post Malone) 

Taylor appears to reference the end of her relationship with Joe Alwyn and her subsequent fling with Matty Healy in the first track on her album. 

The first verse appears to hint at the end of her romance with Joe as she sings: I was supposed to be sent away but they forgot to come and get me. 

Taylor then wishes an ex well who betrayed her: All of this to say, I hope you're okay, but you're the reason / No one here's to blame but what about your quiet treason.

In the second verse, Taylor talks about a short-lived fling that helped her 'move on', potentially a reference to Matt. 

She sings: 'All my mornings are Mondays stuck in an endless February / I took the miracle move on drug and the effects were temporary / And I love you, it's ruining my life / I touched you for only a fortnight.'

2. The Tortured Poets Department

The titular track is a shimmering melody which suggest that Taylor, modestly, doesn't see herself at the top table of tortured poets: 'You're not Dylan Thomas, and I'm not Patti Smith.'

It also appears to heavily reference her fling with Matty as she sings: 'You smokеd then ate seven bars of chocolate / We declared Charlie Puth should be a bigger artist.

'I scratch your head, you fall asleep / Like a tattooed golden retriever / But you awaken with dread.' 

She also makes a candid reference to her mental health, singing: 'But you told Lucy you'd kill yourself if I ever leave /And I had said that to Jack about you so I felt seen'. 

3. My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys

Written solely by Taylor, this song's dense electronic hum adds forceful notes. 

Fans have suggested the title is a reference to the 'shiny toy she sang about in her hit Cruel Summer from the album Lover. 

It's not clear if she is referring to heartbreak after splitting from Joe or the abrupt end to her romance with Matty. 

'Once I fix me, he's gonna miss me,' she vows, adding: 'I know I'm just repeating mysеlf Put me back on my shelf / But first, pull the string And I'll tell you that he runs Because he loves me (He loves me).'

4. Down Bad

Taylor references mental health again as she details how 'down' she feels without an ex and the infatuation she felt with him.

'Everything comes out teenage petulance,' sings Taylor as she bitterly surveys the fallout from an old relationship.

She continues: 'Everything comes out teenage petulance / F**k it if I can't have him / I might just die, it would make no difference / Down bad, waking up in blood /Staring at the sky, come back and pick me up.

'F**k it if I can't have us / I might just not get up / I might stay down bad.'

5. So Long, London

The first track to be written with The National's Aaron Dessner brings a change of pace, with a lovely, choral intro. 'So long, London, you'll find someone,' sings Taylor.

The song appears to be a reference to British ex Joe and a follow up to her hit London Boy from Lover. 

She references their different approaches to the end of their romance, singing in the first verse: 'I kept calm and carried the weight of the rift / Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away / My spine split from carrying us up the hill.' 

Verse three she muses: 'And you say I abandoned the ship, but I was going down with it / My white knuckle dying grip holding tight to your quiet resentment.' 

Taylor Swift officially dropped The Tortured Poets Department on Friday - her hotly-anticipated 11th studio album 

6. But Daddy I Love Him

'I know he's crazy, but he's the one I want,' sings Taylor, showing wry humour as she admits to falling for the bad boys. Produced, with real brightness, by Dessner.

She goes on to revel in the fact she dismisses warning from critics, singing: 'They slammed the door on my whole world / The one thing I wanted

'Now I’m running with my dress unbuttoned, / Screaming, But daddy I love him / I’m having his baby / No I’m not, but you should see your faces.' 

7. Fresh Out The Slammer

Finger-picked acoustic guitar adds folky notes reminiscent of lockdown albums Folklore and Evermore to Fresh Out The Slammer, which details rushing into a new relationship. 

Seemingly a reference to her fling with Matty - who she previously dated in 2015 - she sings: 'Now pretty baby, I’m running back home to you. / Fresh out the slammer I know who my first call will be to.' 

On the decay of her past relationship, she sings: 'Splintered back in winter, silent dinners, bitter he was with her in dreams / Gray and blue and fights and tunnels, handcuffed to the spell I was under.

'For just one hour of sunshine / Years of labor, locks and ceilings / In the shade of how he was feeling.'

8. Florida!!! (feat. Florence + The Machine)

An album highlight, this theatrical duet with London singer Florence Welch is an uplifting song of escape – from small-town life and a bad romance.

Tellingly the first tour stop following her split from Joe was in Tampa, Florida and she begins her song by singing: 'You can beat the heat if you beat the charges too. 

'They said I was a cheat, I guess it must be true / And my friends all smell like weed or little babies / And this city reeks of driving myself crazy.'

9. Guilty As Sin?

A tale of unrequited love, and a superb slice of 1980s-style soft rock. It even mentions The Downtown Lights, a 1989 single by Scottish band The Blue Nile.

She begins the track with her feelings on being 'trapped' in a relationship, singing: 'My boredom’s bone-deep, this cage was once just fine / Am I allowed to cry? 

'I dream of cracking locks, throwing my life to the wolves or the ocean rocks.'

She hints at an emotional affair providing her release, singing: 'These fatal fantasies giving way to labored breath taking all of me we’ve already done it in my head. 

'If it’s make-believe why does it feel like a vow we’ll both uphold somehow?”'

10. Who's Afraid Of Little Old Me?

Big drums, a dramatic arrangement, and more dry humour in another song penned solely by Taylor. 'You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me,' she snarls.

It's reminiscent of her hit single Look What You Made Me Do and the villain arc is prominent in her lyrics. 

She sings: 'I was tame, I was gentle till the circus life made me mean /Don’t you worry folks, we took out all her teeth

'Who’s afraid of little old me? Well you should be.'

This is her first new album since the end of her six-year relationship with British actor Joe Alwyn and, while she doesn't mention Alwyn by name, speculation will be rife that tracks such as So Long, London are about him. Pictured together in 2019

Taylor Swift and Matty Healy seen leaving The Electric Lady studio in Manhattan on May 16, 2023

11. I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)

A moody, stripped-down number worthy of Lana Del Rey, who has also worked extensively with the song's producer, Jack Antonoff.

She appears to be referring to chain smoking, booze loving Matty, as she sings: 'The smoke cloud billows out his mouth like a freight train through a small town / The jokes that he told across the bar were revolting and far too loud.'

Fans had expressed their concerns when Taylor started dating The 1975 bad boy rocker and it seems her friends had the same reservations. 

Taylor sings:  'They shake their heads, saying, "God help her" when I tell ‘em he’s my man / But your good Lord doesn’t need to lift a finger / I can fix him, no really I can / And only I can.' 

12. loml

'You said I'm the love of your life,' sings Taylor on this warm, resonant piano ballad. In a smart twist, the 'loml' ultimately becomes 'the loss of my life'.

She describes being love-bombed by an old flame, seemingly referring to Matty given their past experience. 

Others have suggested the intensity of the lyrics suggest it relates to her longterm relationship with Joe. 

She sings: 'I felt a glow like this, never before and never since /If you know it in one glimpse it’s legendary.

'You and I go from one kiss to getting married / Still alive, killing time at the cemetery / Never quite buried.' 

13. I Can Do It With A Broken Heart

More 1980s influences on an electronic pop track that sees Taylor vowing to remain a trouper, despite any romantic strife.

She sings about putting on a brave face while her relationships publicly fall apart, noting: 'They said, "Babe, you gotta fake it till you make it," and I did.

'Lights, camera, b***h, smile / Even when you wanna die / He said he'd love me all his life / But that life was too short / Breaking down, I hit the floor / All the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting more.'  

Taylor has previously admitted she struggled with her love live playing out so publicly and the narrative that she'd had more boyfriends than other women.  

14. The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

'You didn't measure up in any measure of a man,' sings a disdainful Taylor on a melodramatic ballad.

The title is noteworthy, given that Matty's stature is an object of some debate. The singer previously disclosed: 'Everyone in [the 1975] is 6’4” and I’m 5’10”, so everyone thinks that I’m 5’5”.'

More recently, he addressed these short man allegations by telling a fan that he was 'sick to f***ing death of this', insisting that he is 'a big boy.'

She sings: 'And I don’t miss what we had / But could someone give a message / To the smallest man who ever lived?'

15. The Alchemy

Not all the songs are about heartbreak, as sporting metaphors aplenty suggest a track inspired by the singer's current boyfriend, American football star Travis Kelce. 

'When I touch down, call the amateurs and cut them from the team,' she sings.

Speaking about the upcoming release back in February, when he was building up to the Super Bowl in Las Vegas, Kelce said he had heard some of the songs on Taylor's latest release.

'I have heard some of it and yes, it's unbelievable,' he said to reporters. 'I can't wait for her to shake up the world when it finally drops.'

16. Clara Bow

It's tempting to think Taylor sees something of herself in a closing track inspired by Clara an American actress of the 1920s who lived her life in the Hollywood goldfish bowl.

She goes on to reference Stevie Nicks as she details struggling with the trappings  of fame. 

Taylor sings: 'I'm not trying to exaggеrate / But I think I might die if I made it, die if I made it / No one in my small town thought I'd meet these suits in LA / They all want to say.' 

The Alchemy: Sporting metaphors aplenty suggest a track inspired by the singer's current boyfriend, American football star Travis Kelce. Pictured at Coachella this week

Bonus tracks on The Tortured Poets Department: The Anthology

17. The Black Dog 

The Black Dog is also a reference to depression and lack of energy based on a demonic hellhound acting as an omen of death in English folklore and literature. 

As well as the eerie lyrical meaning to the title, The Black Dog is a bar in Vauxhall, London - her ex Matt's city of birth and just a stone's throw away from Joe's hometown of Royal Tunbridge Wells in Kent. 

In the song, she belts out: 'I am someone who until recent events you shared your secrets with and your location / you forgot to turn it off / And so I watch as you walk into some bar called The Black Dog...

'I just don't understand how you don't miss me in The Black Dog when someone plays The Starting Line and you jump up, but she's too young to know this song that was intertwined in the magic fabric of our dreaming.' 

18. Imgonnagetyouback

Taylor is torn between calling things off for good or rekindling with an ex in imgonnagetyouback.

Emotions are clearly running high as she sings: ‘Whether Im gonna be your wife / Or smash up your bike / I haven’t decided yet’.

She appears to reference her new romance with Travis as the song goes on, sharing: 'I can feel it coming / In the way you move / Push the reset button /We’re becoming something new.

'See you got somebody else / Say I got someone else too / Even if it’s him, I'm leaving here with you.' 

19. The Albatross

It seems London watering holes are a theme of the album, with The Black Dog and The Bolter joining The Albatross as apparent references to venues. 

The Albatross Club is a pub in Farringdon, London but also has particularly eerie significance in its meaning as a word alone. 

Albatross is defined in the Britannica Dictionary as: 'A continuing problem that makes it difficult or impossible to do or achieve something. Fame has become an albatross that prevents her from leading a normal and happy life.'

Additionally, an albatross is a large white ocean bird that has very long and often black wings - which many likened to her outfit from the Grammys. 

Taylor is taking no prisoners in this track, referring to herself as one of the largest seabirds on Earth - famed for their giant wingspan and ability to glide seamlessly. 

She sings about taking revenge with the lyrics: 'She is here to destroy you/ Devils that you know / Raise worse hell than a stranger'. 

20. Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

Taylor tells the story of a rocky relationship in which their partner betrays them and focuses on drugs more than her. 

She hints at infidelity on their part by singing: 'Your hologram stumbled into my apartment / Hands in the hair of somebody in darkness.

'Named Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus / And I just watched it happen / As the decade would play us for fools.' 

Taylor goes on to reference, singing: 'You said some things that I can’t unabsorb / You turned me into an idea of sorts / You needed me, but you needed drugs more / And I couldn’t watch it happen.'

Taylor reignited her explosive feud with Kim Kardashian by releasing a diss track aimed at the reality star (pictured with Kim in 2015)

Taylor also seems to reference Kim's 10-year-old daughter North West dancing to Shake It Off on TikTok back in January, she writes:# your kid comes home singin' a song that only us two is gonna know is about you'

21. How Did It End? 

Taylor appears to reference the speculation over her relationship with Joe as she details in the chorus: 

'Come one come all It's happ'nin' again / The empathetic hunger descends We'll tell no-one / 'Cept all of our friends / We must know How did it end?' 

Accusing people of conducting their own 'post-mortem's' in the opening sentence, Taylor also accuses people of being smug: 'Soon they'll go home to their husbands / 'cause they know they can trust him / Then feverishly calling their cousins.'

She later admits that while everyone is questioning, 'How did it end?' she doesn't know herself: 'But I still don't know, how did it end?' 

22. So High School

While many tracks are bold aims at her exes Matt and Joe, happiness does reign in her track So High School where she discusses current boyfriend Travis. 

She sings: 'You know how to ball, I know Aristotle, brand new, full throttle // Touch me while your bros play Grand Theft Auto // It's true, swear, scouts honor // You knew what you wanted, and, boy, you got her.'

Taylor the directly references a resurfaced video in which Travis was asked who marry, kiss or kill between Ariana Grande, Katy Perry and Taylor. 

She sings: 'Are you gonna marry, kiss or kill me? Kill me. It's just a game, but really, really, I'm betting on all three for us two. 

23. I Hate It Here 

Taylor relies in escapism to distract herself from the issues plaguing her real life, describing herself as going to 'secret gardens in my mind'. 

She appears to be dealing with the fallout of being lied to, singing: Tell me something awful like you are a poet / Trapped inside the body of a finance guy

'Tell me all your secrets / All you’ll ever be is / My eternal consolation prize.' 

She appears to be between relationships, musing: 'I’m lonely, but I’m good /I’m bitter, but I swear I’m fine.' 

24. thanK you aIMee 

Fans are convinced the 24th track - thanK you aIMee - is aimed at Kim Kardashian, as the letters K,I and M are capped up to spell out her name.

Taylor sings in one line: 'There's a bronze spray-tanned statue of you and a plaque underneath it/That threatens to push me down the stairs, at our school.'

'All that time you were throwin' punches, I was buildin' somethin' / And I can't forgive the way you made me feel / Screamed 'F**k you, Aimee' to the night sky, as the blood was gushin' / But I can't forget the way you made me heal.'

She goes on to add: 'And it wasn't a fair fight, or a clean kill / Each time that Aimee stomped across my gravе / And then she wrote hеadlines/ In the local paper, laughing at each baby step I'd take.'

Taylor concludes by confirming she's changed the name of the woman she's singing about - further fuelling speculation the track is about Kim.

She also seems to reference Kim's 10-year-old daughter North West dancing to her 2014 single Shake It Off on TikTok, finding it ironic as the 'song is about you'.

She sings: 'And so I changed your name, and any real defining clues/And one day, your kid comes home singin' a song that only us two is gonna know is about you.'

25. I Look in People's Windows 

While she may have the ultimate girl squad around her, Taylor admits she can't help but feel lonely when chasing a man. 

She sings: 'I look in people's windows / Transfixed by rose golden glows / They have their friends over to drink nice wine.

'I look in people's windows / In case you're at their table / What if your eyes looked up and met mine / One more time.' 

26. The Prophecy 

Taylor seems to be pained by the thought of trying to find an intimate love when her life is so public. 

The singer - who found fame as a teenager - reveals that being in the spotlight and adored by millions of fans can't measure up to being loved by a partner. 

She shares: 'Please / Change the prophecy / Let it once be me / Who do I have to speak to / About if they can redo the prophecy?'

 Taylor has previously revealed how fame changed her life for the worst, explaining: 'It's a social situation every time I go out. 

'I just have to wake up in the morning and say, "How am I feeling today? If someone asks for a picture, am I gonna feel imposed upon today because I'm dealing with my own stuff? Am I gonna take my own stuff out on some innocent 14-year-old today and be in a bad mood?" 

'OK, maybe not … Maybe I won't leave the house.'

27. Cassandra

thanK you aIMee might not be the only song issuing shots at Kim Kardashians, with Cassandra also seeming to be filled with veiled digs. 

Greek god Cassandra, 'entangled men' and was punished with a curse where no one would believe what she had to say. 

In her chorus, Taylor sings: 'When the first stone’s thrown, they’re screaming /In the streets, there’s a raging riot / When it’s "Burn the b***h", they’re shrieking / When the truth comes out, it’s quiet.'

This could be in reference to Kim sparking a social media firestorm when she shared a Snapchat video of then-husband Kanye West during a phone call with Taylor, where she seemingly gave the rapper to include lyrics about her in his new song. 

While Taylor insisted that she hadn't consented to Kanye labelled her a 'b***h' in his track, many accused her of being a snake.

Kardashian fans and Swifties went to war with one another by posting snake emojis. 

Taylor references snakes in her song, sharing: 'So, they killed Cassandra first ‘cause she feared the worst / And tried to tell the town / So, they filled my cell with snakes, I regret to say / Do you believe me now?'

28. Peter 

Taylor reflects on her childhood and pleads for forgiveness as she reflects on losing a past love. 

It could be in reference to Matty, who she was first linked to in 2014, and their subsequent breakup as she sings: 'Said you were gonna grow up /Then you were gonna come find me.

'Words from the mouths of babes / Promises oceans deep / But never to keep / Never to keep.' 

It could also be a follow up to her song Cardigan, where she sang: 'Tried to change the ending / Peter losing Wendy'. 

Taylor reflects on her childhood and pleads for forgiveness as she reflects on losing a past love (pictured in 2008) 

29. The Bolter 

Fans have made many interpretations of The Bolter - with links to a London pub in the form of Mansion House's bar of the same name while also alluding to a suitor running into the night - something fans insisted was about Joe. 

Some Twitter users claimed the location is where the former couple enjoyed their first date - yet the claims were quickly disputed by devoted followers.

The initial claim came from a fan writing: 'The Bolter is a bar in London where Taylor and Joe went on their first outing?!?!???? I’m done, BYE'. 

Others followed up writing: '***Apparently that’s not the bar they were publicly first seen together!!!!*** But there is indeed this bar in London which is crazy anyway... guys it's not real, it was different place'. 

She sings: 'Started with a kiss / "Oh, we must stop meeting like this" / But it always ends with a town car speeding / Out the drive one evenin' / Ended with the slam of a door / But she's got the best stories // You can be sure...

'All her f**kin' lives / Flashed before her eyes / And she realized / It feels like the time / She fell through the ice / Then came out alive'.

30. Robin 

Her penultimate track is also reflective of her youth as she reflects on how innocence is ripped away with age. 

She sings: 'You get the dragonflies above your bed /You have a favorite spot on the swing set / You have no room in your dreams for regret

'You have no idea / The time will arrive for the cruel and the mean / You'll learn to bounce back just like your trampoline.'

Despite this there's an element of hope involved as she sings: 'But now we'll curtail your curiosity / In sweetness / Way to go, tiger / Way to go, tiger /Higher and higher / Higher and higher / Wilder and lighter.' 

31. The Manuscript 

The only bonus track on the first physical versions of Taylor's album seems to be a follow up to All Too Well - her song about Jake Gyllenhaal. 

She reflects on a past romance as she sings: 'Now and then she rereads the manuscript / Of the entire torrid affair /He said that if the sex was half as good as the conversation was / Soon they'd be pushin' strollers / But soon it was over.'

In a nod to All Too Well (10 Minute Version) and its music video directly, Taylor continues: 'The Professor said to write what you know / Lookin' backwards might be the only way to move forward / Then the actors / Were hitting their marks.' 

The Bad Blood songstress, 34 - who recently teased a 'timetable' to her fans ahead of the LP's release - initially announced the album while attending the 2024 Grammys in February