As Taylor Swift unveils 'unhinged' break-up songs... psychologist reveals why women seem more prone to romantic obsessions than men

When mega popstar Taylor Swift released her 11th studio album today her  'Swiftie' army quickly picked through her lyrics and connected them to exes.

As has become the norm for a Swift album, Tortured Poets Department is packed with references to former flames - including actor Joe Alwyn, who the popstar dated for 6 years. 

There's apparently also multiple references to Matty Healy, the front-man for the indie band The 1975, whom Swift had a brief fling with last year. 

The lyrics have become the latest fodder for critics who claim that the popstar has an obsessive relationship type.

But this is probably just an example of how women tend to process breakups, by venting to their social network, Melissa Fabello a sex and relationship coach based in California, told DailyMail.com. 

'Men and women do process breakup very differently,' Fabello said. She explained that men are more likely to keep their feelings to themselves because they're not raised to express emotions outwardly, she said. 

Swift's latest album, the Tortured Poets Department, is her 11th studio album

Swift dated actor Joe Alwyn for six years. The two ended their notoriously private relationship in April of 2023

This can make men develop less healthy coping mechanisms after a breakup, like abusing alcohol or having a lot of casual sex, even while they're relatively silent about their breakup.

Meanwhile, women tend to experience their breakups out loud- crying venting, and 'talking ad nauseum' to their friends, family and anyone who will listen. This might make it appear like women are more obsessed over their ex's- she said, when in reality, they're just processing.

Swift's fans were in full support of the singer getting romantic issues off her chest.

'They can never make me hate taylor swift im sorry .. this b***h crazy and she KNOWS IT,' user idkcloudy shared in a X in response to the album.

User pdesis shared a similar sentiment, 'UNHINGED TAYLOR SWIFT IS BACK SHES BACK YOU GUYS,' with a gif of a person base jumping from a cliff.

People also poked fun at how Swift's newest beau, Chiefs star Travis Kelce, must be reacting to the news. User swainsch posted a gif of someone shaking on X with the caption, 'killatrav listening to an album full of songs about how bad taylor swift wishes she was still dating matty healy.'

Swift has been candid that the songwriting process is cathartic for her. 

During the Melbourne stop of her Eras tour, Swift shared with her audience that writing 'The Tortured Poets Department' was a 'lifeline' for her. 

'The things that I was going through, the things that I was writing about ... it kind of reminded me why songwriting actually gets me through my life,' she said. 

Fans say Swift was writing about Alwyn in her track 'So Long, London', when she sings that she felt like she would 'implode' while in a relationship. 

It's unclear exactly how long Swift and Healy were dating, but the two were pictured together a number of times around the summer of 2023

Reflecting back, the billionaire singer croons that she was 'p****s off you [he] let me give you all that youth for free'. 

Feeling frustrated like this during a long-term relationship is incredibly common, Dayana Romero, a registered psychotherapist who focuses on couples and practices in Ontario, told the Daily Mail. 

She noted that many of her clients feel like they've wasted time on a partner who was dragging their feet. 

'When you have people who've been in relationships for a long time, and it doesn't excel or move in the way that they want it to, and it ends up in a breakup, their regular going to feel very betrayed,' she said.

Swift released her new album after spending much of the last year on her 'Eras' tour

In 'Fortnight', the first single for the album, fans quickly became convinced that Swift was calling out Healy. 

In the song, Swift calls someone a 'miracle move-on-drug' and says 'I love you, it's ruining my life'. 

Though it's impossible to pin down an exact date, since the pair never publicly confirmed their relationship, it probably lasted a few months. 

This sort of short term, intense relationship is incredibly common, Ms Romero said. Further, though this intense infatuation feels like love, it's unlikely to turn into a healthy relationship.

Sometimes, these short-term relationships are the most painful, Ms Fabello said, because you still have an idealized version of your potential partner in your mind. 

So when they reject you, it can make you feel like something is wrong with you. 

'That is painful, that's rejection and abandonment. And that hurts no matter how long the relationship was,' Ms Fabello said.

Ms Fabello said that men and women experience this pain equally, but they tend to cope with it differently. Some studies have agreed. 

Anthropologists from Binghamton University revealed similar trends in a 2011 study of 1735 college students. They found that men were three times more likely develop risky sexual habits and to abuse drugs and alcohol after a breakup than women. 

Swift and Super Bowl winning tight-end Travis Kelce confirmed their relationship in September of 2023

By comparison, women were three times more likely to rely on their social network for support after a break up. This could mean talking to their friends, families or in Swift's case, her fans. 

Also, the study found, women were twice as likely as men to internalize the break up, and reported that it affected their self-esteem in the long run, making it more difficult to get into new relationships in the future, the authors wrote. This could make them seem more 'stuck' on past partners.

Further research into the topic in 2021 research from Lancaster University found that while men were less likely to express their heartbreak publicly, they did hurt as much as their female counterparts. 

The study, which evaluated 181,000 Reddit users seeking breakup advice online, was 'surprising' the authors wrote.  

Ms Romero, however, wasn't surprised, as this was in line with what she's observed in her 15 years of practice. 'At the end of the day, emotions aren't separated by men or women, emotions are emotions,' she said. 

Crucially, anyone of any gender can feel incredibly intense emotions after a breakup, Ms Romero said. She said men and women don't differ all that much when it comes to lost love. 

So maybe, Ms Fabello, who is a self-proclaimed Swiftie, said, people could take a page out of Swift's book, and consider letting some of that pain out in therapy. Unless, you like Swift, want to do it out on stage.