I'm a beauty expert - this is the surprising reason why I won't book a salon facial. Here's what you should do instead...

People often imagine I spend my entire life grooming, when I am as hectic, last-minute and exhausted as any other middle-aged multitasker.

However, last weekend brought the first 60th birthday bash within my peer group, with friends I hadn't seen for ten years.

'That's it, I'm taking a spa 24 hours,' I decreed. 'I'm going to relax, tend my skin, and sleep my way to looking like the best version of myself, and not some broken, bone-weary ghoul.'

What I didn't do was book a facial. Too many are a basic cleanse, steam and scrub, followed by a mask. Frankly, you and I can do this at home – and better.

Instead, I scored a 90-minute massage at my local salon, asking for half an hour of head, neck and face pulping as part of this. What lies above and below is so much a part of facial tension and I needed a proper going over of my collapsed cheeks and stiff jaw, circulation boosting all the while.

Our expert Hannah Betts prefers a massage that focuses on her neck, to boost circulation and ease tension 

Once returned, I cleansed with the lavish de Mamiel Restorative Cleansing Balm (£70, demamiel.com), so dense in antioxidant-rich oils you only need a tiny amount, the act of flannelling it off providing exfoliation.

I steamed my complexion in an Epsom salt and Aromatherapy Associates De-Stress Muscle Bath & Shower Oil (£58, aromatherapyassociates.com) soak – lazily precluding the need for a post-tub body moisturiser. Epsom salts are rich in magnesium, known as 'nature's Valium' for its sleep-enhancing qualities. I boosted the effect with BetterYou Magnesium Oil (£13.95, holland&barrett), spritzed onto my kneaded neck and shoulders, plus Nutravita's high-potency Magnesium Citrate (£19.99, superdrug.com).

Then, I slathered on whatever conditioner was lying about by way of an overnight hair mask, with a woolly hat on top for heat therapy. I treated my feet to Beauty Pie Footopia Super Softening Foot & Heel Cream (members £8, non-members £25, beautypie.com) plus socks; my hands to Leighton Denny Hand Rebirth Intensive Hand Cream (£14, leightondenny.com) with Boots Cotton Gloves (£2.50, boots.com) to seal in the goodness. I may have looked like a loon, but slept like the proverbial baby.

Next morning, after a lie-in, I pottered about while pleasurably beauty boosting. You're not looking to do anything potentially irritating here – no skin needling. However, a session with an LED mask is just the ticket. The healing light emitted by these accessories plumps skin, softens lines, reduces redness, scars and dark spots, revitalising all-round.

They can cost well over £500. However, I own the competitively-priced Light Salon Boost LED Face Mask (£395, thelight-salon.com), clinically proven to increase the production of collagen, elastin and hyaluronic acid, it claims to reduce wrinkle depth by 36 per cent in four weeks.

I have had a dry-skinned guinea pig testing the CurrentBody Skin LED Eye Perfector (£189, currentbody.com) and she swears it has made a discernible difference to fine lines and wrinkles. Meanwhile, an ally with an oily complexion has been testing Hollywood red-carpet prepper Angela Caglia's Crystal LED Face Mask (£550, net-a-porter.com) and also raves about it, having been deluged with compliments by people with no idea what she's been up to. Despite the prices, both have said they would buy their devices.

If you're looking for a bargain option, supplies of Beauty Pie's instant sell-out C-Wave LED Treatment Mask (£99 for members, £250 for non-members, beautypie.com) are rumoured to be about to hit its site. Sign up to its waiting list to be kept up to speed.

Post LED, I relaxed under Monu's Collagen Sheet Mask (£14,95, monushop.co.uk), a lovely, soothing plumper. A couple of hours after that, I used an ice cube to wake up my face and remove any residual product, massaging with a gua sha tool (any will do) and the beautifully-nourishing, easily-absorbed Farm Girl CBD Facial Oil (£48, farmgirlbysarahjane.co.uk), letting it sink in before make-up.

Finally, I annointed myself in my beloved out-on-the-tiles energiser, Aromatherapy Associates Revive Evening Bath & Shower Oil (£58, aromatherapyassociates.com). A heady patchouli, revitalising ylang ylang and geranium concoction, it is the secret weapon of many a woman about town, and sexy as hell.

After this, I refused to give another thought to my appearance, being rested, relaxed and ready to have the time of my life.

Race You To It

When it launched in the US, Hourglass Vanish Airbrush Pressed Powder (£57, hourglasscosmetics.co.uk) sold out in 72 hours. The brand's first pressed powder went on sale here on Friday, joining Hourglass's 33-time award-winning Vanish Airbrush collection, four products from which are sold every minute. So hurry!

Cosmetic Craving

I promise myself I’ll never do it again, then I find myself gnawing off a gel manicure. Still, that’s probably still better for nails than those salon maniacs removing gel with a drill. 

Either way, rehab is required. First any sort of strengthening base, then Nails Inc Glowing Somewhere Plant Power Vegan Nail Illuminator (£9, nailsinc.com). 

Like a highlighter for your skin, it’s a sheer, luminously shimmering, pearl shade that helps to brighten the nail bed and create the appearance of whiter tips and healthier lengths, while being free from formaldehyde, acetone, parabens, vegan, cruelty-free and Halal friendly. 

With a single coat nails are redeemed – and exquisitely, modishly glazed.

My icon of the week: Diane Lane

Diane Lane stars in hot new TV series Capote vs. The Swans with Tom Hollander and Naomi Watts

The actress, 59, looks glorious in new TV series Capote vs. The Swans. She enjoys her ‘naked face’ because ‘if I fall more in love with the mask, that’s depressing’, adoring Dr Bronner Organic Lip Balm (£4.39, superdrug.com). 

She uses Tracie Martyn Amla Purifying Cleanser (£55.08, skinstore.com) with a Foreo device (from £44.50, foreo.com) and ‘drinks’ olive oil, apparently.