How SEPARATE beds became the ultimate aphrodisiac: Inside the shock rise of the 'SLEEP divorce' - as couples candidly reveal how having their own rooms has saved their sex lives

Is sleeping in separate bedrooms the key to making a marriage work? According to these longtime couples, having their own space to rest their heads at night has saved their relationships.

The phenomenon, which is known as a sleep divorce, has become a hot topic on social media in recent months, with many people posting videos to TikTok explaining why it has made their romance so much stronger.

Some people explained that they opted to snooze in separate beds because their partner was interrupting their rest with their snoring or kicking; others blamed varying schedules or insomnia; while a few social media users admitted they simply needed their own space. 

Elizabeth and Ryan Pearson, from Laguna Niguel, California, who have been married for 16 years, recently explained to The Wall Street Journal that they started using separate bedrooms about eight years ago after she found herself 'waking up angry at him every morning.'

According to many longtime couples, sleeping in separate bedroom than their partner has saved their relationships (stock image) 

The phenomenon, which is known as a sleep divorce, has become a hot topic on social media in recent months, with many people posting videos to TikTok talking about the benefits

Elizabeth and Ryan Pearson, from California, who have been wed for 16 years, explained to The Wall Street Journal that they started using separate bedrooms eight years ago

Elizabeth, 42, explained that Ryan, 47, snores 'like a chainsaw' and suffers from restless leg syndrome, revealing he even once punched her in the face in the middle of the night.

'It was driving a rift in the relationship,' she admitted. 'We both travel for work quite a bit, and we noticed that we slept great in hotels. Where we slept poorly was when we were at home in the bed together.'

The 42-year-old pointed out that 'well-rested people' are usually 'more patient, more engaged, and more present with their partners.'

Elizabeth, 42, explained that Ryan, 47, snores 'like a chainsaw' and suffers from restless leg syndrome, revealing he even once punched her in the face in the middle of the night. The couple is seen with their kids

'When you have time to yourself, you can be a better partner,' she added.

And she insisted that it's even boosted their sex life, revealing, 'We have a great sex life because we're not pissed off at each other throughout the day for something that is uncontrollable like sleep and snoring.'

Another couple, named Amy Boland and Beth Berila, from Minneapolis, Minnesota, who wed in 2015, told the publication that they decided to get different bedrooms in 2017, after Beth, 53, began going through menopause.

'We had spent nights together when we were dating, so it wasn't a big deal for me until Beth started having hot flashes at night,' Amy, 51, revealed.

'She would wake up and flop the covers off and then have trouble falling back asleep. I also snore, and that bothers her.'

'It was driving a rift in the relationship,' she admitted, adding, 'When you have time to yourself, you can be a better partner'

And she insisted that it's even boosted their sex life, revealing, 'We have a great sex life because we're not pissed off at each other throughout the day'

Another couple, named Amy Boland and Beth Berila, who wed in 2015, said they decided to get different bedrooms in 2017, after Beth, 53, began going through menopause

At first, Beth often found herself crashing on the sofa downstairs, before they decided to transform the attic into a second bedroom.

'Sometimes she goes up there if one of us has an early morning, or she'll start out sleeping in our bedroom and something will wake her up, and she'll go up there to finish the night,' Amy revealed.

'Either way, it's fine. If she goes upstairs, I get to hog the bed. If she doesn't, then I get to sleep next to her.

'Who doesn't function better when they've had a solid evening of sleep? If you could do something to get along better with the person you're roommates with for the rest of your lives, wouldn't you do it?'

Experts have backed up the claims that sleeping in a separate space than your partner can boost both your sleep health and your relationship. 

A 2023 survey conducted by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine saw that more than one third of American couples sleep in separate rooms occasionally or consistently. 

'We know that poor sleep can worsen your mood, and those who are sleep deprived are more likely to argue with their partners,' Dr. Seema Khosla, a pulmonologist and spokesperson for the AASM, said about the study.

'Beth started having hot flashes at night,' Amy, 51, revealed. 'She would wake up and flop the covers off and then have trouble falling back asleep. I also snore, and that bothers her'

At first, Beth often found herself crashing on the sofa downstairs, before they decided to transform the attic into a second bedroom

'Getting a good night's sleep is important for both health and happiness, so it's no surprise that some couples choose to sleep apart for their overall well-being.' 

Dr. Erin Flynn-Evans, a consultant to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine also told CBS, 'Studies demonstrate that when one bed partner has a sleep disorder it can negatively affect the other sleeper. 

 'Who doesn’t function better when they’ve had a solid evening of sleep?' Amy asked. 'If you could do something to get along better with the person you're roommates with for the rest of your lives, wouldn't you do it?'

'For example, bed partners tend to wake up at the same time when one has insomnia. 

'Similarly, when bed partners differ in chronotype, like when one is a night owl the other is an early bird, these differing sleep preferences can negatively impact both partners' sleep.'

In addition, a 2017 study from psychologists at Ohio State University said that couples with poorer sleep quality had more marital conflict.

Last year, a TikTok creator named Siobhan went viral after she spoke about why she and her boyfriend, Jamie, decided to get a sleep divorce.

She explained that they used to share a bed every night, but because of their different schedules and Siobhan's sleep disorder, the couple spent many restless nights up together.

Last year, a TikToker named Siobhan went viral after she spoke about why she and her boyfriend, Jamie, decided to get a sleep divorce

She explained that they used to share a bed every night, but because of their different schedules and Siobhan's sleep disorder, the couple spent many restless nights up together 

A professional markup artist named Karol, 27 - who uses they/them pronouns - also gained attention online for speaking about their sleep divorce from their partner, Yasmine, 28 

Soon enough, tension started to build as the couple's constant sleep deprivation saw them struggling to effectively communicate with each other. 

The couple then decided to start sleeping in separate bedrooms in hopes of solving both their sleep and relationship issues - and she said it worked wonders.

'We have been together for three years and for one and a half of those years we have had our own bedrooms. We will occasionally sleep in the same bed, but for the most part, we sleep separate,' Siobhan, 28, said in a video.

Back in December, actress Cameron Diaz said she wanted to 'normalize' sleeping in separate bedrooms. She's seen with her husband, Benji Madden, in 2016

'I actually got this advice from a married couple who had been married for 40 years and they were so happy, and so youthful and so in love and they said that sleeping separately has been such a game changer.' 

A professional markup artist named Karol, 27 - who uses they/them pronouns - also gained attention online for speaking about their sleep divorce from their partner, Yasmine, 28.

'I don't know who needs to hear this but move in with your partner but keep your own bedrooms,' they said.

'I am in my own bedroom right now in the same apartment as my partner and I am awake doing my skincare the way that I like it, sprawled on my bed, watching the s**t that I want to watch on YouTube, no compromising. 

'And then if you want you can come together, but you don't have to, it's not a pre-requisite.' 

Back in December, actress Cameron Diaz said she wanted to 'normalize' sleeping in separate bedrooms.

'To me, I would literally - I have my house, you have yours. We have the family house in the middle. I will go and sleep in my room. You go sleep in your room. I'm fine,' the actress, who is married to Benji Madden, said.

'And we have the bedroom in the middle that we can convene in for our relations.'