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It's surely the world's fanciest food court.
I'm sitting in a one-Michelin-star restaurant looking directly across at a two-Michelin-star restaurant, with a three-Michelin-star eaterie to the left.
Talk about paradise for foodies.
These six Michelin stars are all under one roof, fanned around the 'Marble Courtyard' at the hyper-luxurious, 'palace-rated' Four Seasons Hotel George V Paris, which surely has bragging rights for the best hotel fine-dining offering in the world.
Our first taste of what the property's culinary wonderland tenders is at the one-Michelin-starred Italian restaurant, Le George, where Chef Simone Zanoni sets the bar stratospherically high.
MailOnline Travel's Ted Thornhill checks in to the hyper-luxurious, 'palace-rated' Four Seasons Hotel George V, Paris. Above is the 'blissful' indoor pool
The Four Seasons Hotel George V Paris has an amazing flower-filled lobby
Amid gloriously opulent surroundings – think dazzling chandeliers, mesmerising marble floors and elegant white chairs – and with the almost-full restaurant buzzing with exhilarated diners, we are treated to a tour de force of gastronomic treats, fashioned from the freshest of fresh ingredients.
Seasonal fruits and vegetables are supplied all year long to Le George from the chemical-free Domaine de Madame Elisabeth, a vast lush estate that once belonged to the sister of King Louis XVI that lies 20 kilometres (13 miles) southwest of Paris in Versailles.
Refreshingly for a Michelin-star dining room, there are multiple menu options – eight-course tasting (155 euros/£132/$165), three-course set lunch (80 euros/£68/$85) and a la carte, with a whole page dedicated to crudo (raw) options.
We don't think our six-year-old daughter will stay compliant for the full-fat 'menu degustation' experience, so we go for the semi-skimmed set lunch, which is still a mini banquet.
We feel like we've been transported to a rustic seaside Italian village with gorgeous focaccia, sublime slices of yellowtail kingfish crudo with mandarin vinaigrette, speckled with dots of pureed lemon and roasted garlic, and delectable fried baby shrimps to nibble on.
Chef Simone keeps our taste buds enlivened with veal and oyster-mushroom bites drizzled with an oxtail and red wine jus. They resemble little flying saucers. They taste out of this world.
The hotel's three main restaurants are grouped around the Marble Courtyard, above
The hotel's Italian restaurant, Le George, 'where Chef Simone Zanoni sets the bar stratospherically high'
The piece de resistance is the lip-smackingly delicious wood-fire-roasted Aveyron lamb with a lemon zest and shizo vinegar sauce.
A smoky slab of perfection.
To finish, it's a lovely baba al limoncello with mint sorbet and Amalfi lemon marmalade.
As for the service, I wish I could bottle the waiting staff's passion and enthusiasm.
At one point, my partner drops a knife – it is replaced fuss-free in almost the blink of an eye by a waiter whose feet appear not to touch the ground as he glides across the dining room in emergency response mode.
While special mention goes to our excellent Italian sommelier, who picks out some corking wines by the glass, including a terrific textured red from the Barolo region of Italy, a lip-smackingly moreish Monteraponi Chianti Classico and a beautifully buttery white by the Eduardo Torres Acosta winery in Sicily.
The restaurants around the Marble Courtyard have six Michelin stars between them - Le Cinq has three, L'Orangerie has two and Le George has one
The 244-room hotel proudly boasts of its location 'in the heart of the city's Golden Triangle designer shopping district'
By Le George, I'm keen to return.
For our evening meal, we rotate to the opposite side of the courtyard – via a cocktail at the hotel's ooh-la-la-inducing bar – and take a seat at the two-Michelin-starred L'Orangerie.
Here the cooking is artier, the service more earnest (with a slightly intimidating sommelier) – and the atmosphere more intimate, with just six tables occupying an elegant conservatory extension to the hotel's gorgeous all-day dining lounge, La Galerie.
The overall experience? Unforgettable, with full marks dispatched from this diner to Chef Alan Taudon for a series of virtuoso dishes, with some that are how-on-earth-did-he-make-that amazing.
L'Orangerie, where Ted experiences 'a series of virtuoso dishes, with some that are how-on-earth-did-he-make-that amazing'
La Galerie, Four Seasons George V's 'gorgeous all-day dining lounge'
LEFT: Amuse bouche at L'Orangerie - 'buckwheat pancakes' with lobster condiment and yogurt tartlets with horseradish, peas, and red currant. RIGHT: L'Orangerie's 'citrus garden' dessert
Chef Taudon's repertoire is drawn from two sources – plants and fish - and he offers a seven-course tasting menu at 235 euros (£200/$250) and a five-course 'Discovery' menu at 180 euros ($190/£200).
Given our earlier indulgencies we opt for the Discovery experience. And discover it's plenty of food for the money – and a feast for the eyes (and smartphone lenses). Some of the dishes resemble miniature sculptures, and each is presented on its own bespoke, uniquely designed plate.
After a palette-cleansing celery, apple, and ginger cocktail, delicate amuse bouche arrive - 'buckwheat pancakes' with lobster condiment and yogurt tartlets with horseradish, peas, and red currant - served in a giant shell of a dish with dry ice wafting theatrically around them; spider crab with caviar has us ooh-ing and aah-ing, as does the green asparagus with cloudy rice fermentation and truffled mousseline.
Chef Taudon's seaweed and plankton butter is almost orgasmic – I could eat it out of a cone – but it's his signature dish of grilled sea bream with a wavy strand of pasta and jalapeno pepper sauce that takes the home the gold star - to take something so simple as a slice of fish and elevate it to an unadulterated taste sensation takes some skill.
Le Cinq (above) is where breakfast is served to guests. Ted unfortunately missed out on breakfast due to an early train, but a receptionist fetched him a croissant for the journey
French designer Pierre-Yves Rochon has redesigned the hotel's duplex city-view suites (above)
Ted describes the bedrooms at the hotel as 'sumptuously regal, with mindblowingly comfortable beds'
There's also some skill involved in the 'citrus garden' dessert – twirls, strands, slices and little tubes of rice pudding, lemon caviar, fried rice chips and pink grapefruit sorbet.
Wine-wise I savour a Saint-Aubin premier cru that's about as close to homemade ice-cream a wine can ever come.
We sadly miss breakfast, which is served in the three-star dining room, as we head out before sunrise to catch a TGV to the Alps. The look of horror on the face of the receptionist when she learns of this omission to our itinerary sums up the dedication to guest happiness here – off she whizzes to fetch us a pain au chocolat and croissant for the journey.
A oui bit special: The image above shows the elegantly appointed Four Seasons Suite
Le Bar, which Ted describes as 'ooh-la-la-inducing'. He stopped by there for a cocktail, in between his Michelin-starred dining experiences
Ted writes that 'wandering the magnificent public spaces... is a joy'. Above - La Galerie
Pictured above is the hotel's Eiffel Tower Suite. Rooms at the hotel start at around £1,600 ($2,000) a night
The Arc de Triomphe, Place de la Concorde and Eiffel Tower are just moments away from the property
It's a painful departure, for this is a hotel that bewitches like no other, and not just on the food front.
Wandering the magnificent public spaces, with their incredible flower displays, is a joy, the elegant subterranean pool with its mosaic tiling is bliss – and the bedrooms are sumptuously regal, with mindblowingly comfortable beds.
I feel like I'm in the arms of angels after lights-out.
The 244-room hotel proudly boasts of its location 'in the heart of the city's Golden Triangle designer shopping district', with the Champs-Elysées, Avenue Marceau and Avenue Montaigne bordering the property and the Arc de Triomphe, Place de la Concorde and Eiffel Tower just moments away.
It's a worthwhile brag – but I'd argue the hotel is an attraction in itself.
Ever wondered how good a hotel can get? Step this way.