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JANA HOCKING: Married men need to get out of my way - here's how they manage to chase away single blokes every time
Hey married dudes, quit getting in our way! Seriously, it's driving us single ladies bonkers.
On Thursday, my friend and I were cornered in the bar by a couple of old, thirsty, married men - obviously looking for their ego to be stroked by two pretty young women before heading home to their wives. The problem - the pleasure was all theirs.
My friends and I had headed to the pub after paying respect to the Anzacs, intent on playing two-up and flipping the coin on finding some hot single men to flirt with.
Annoyingly the lines to get into the pubs around Paddington were huge, so one-by-one the girls dropped off in search of something better. With one girlfriend left standing, we finally made our way into the packed bar and realised we were squished in like sardines. Thankfully not far behind us a group of men our age turned up and they were looking hot!
We started making eyes at each other and it was off to a great start.
Jana Hocking shares her gripe with married men coming up to her at bars. She was recently at a pub for Anzac Day when two married men ambushed her and a friend
There were men screaming 'heads' and 'tails' at each other in macho cavemen like ways that gave us a good giggle, we were chuffed... there was one tall, handsome one in particular, and were having a good ol' flirt fest. Until…
I made my way to the heavily packed bar to buy my friend and I a drink. I finally got to the front of the queue and felt a tap on my shoulder. Two older men with wedding rings were trying to get my attention. They asked if I could also order their drinks so they didn't have to wait in line - and in exchange they would pay for my drinks. Sure! I thought was a great exchange of services.
So, I ordered four drinks, took two of them and said thank you before making my way back to my friend.
What I didn't realise was they were following me. Sigh.
By the time I had squeezed myself back up against the wall of the packed pub and handed my friend a drink, I found they were attempting to join us and we had nowhere to go. For what felt like an hour they talked at us. Not with us. At us. And because the bar was so packed we couldn't really escape them. What I thought was a kind act turned into a hijacking.
As we politely nodded and gave them very short answers, they proceeded to dominate the conversation, clearly loving having two younger women to make them feel alive. The problem was, their joy was not our joy.
The guys we had been making eyes at assumed we were now happily entertaining these older (married) dudes and turned their attention elsewhere. Crap.
Jana has tried politely declining their advances and giving short answers, but the men persist
Eventually my friend said she had to go to the bathroom and left to go chat to the younger and very single guys and asked them to save us.
Which, they thankfully did, and we went on to have a great afternoon rightfully flirting with men our own age who were not thirsty old dudes who weren't necessarily looking to cheat, but wanted to give their egos a boost by talking to women half their age.
And that would be something to laugh/cringe at if it was the first time this happened. But it's not.
Why is it that the married men seem to have the most confidence in a bar? Is it because the outcome doesn't really matter?
They've already got wives at home, so they can lark around like ridiculous peacocks, and if someone takes the bait, great. If not, they'll sleep tight next to their significant other.
Is it because they so desperately want to feel young and free again? To try and reassure themselves that they are still attractive to the opposite sex?
Jana questioned why married men feel so comfortable flirting with single women at bars
On another previous outing I was with two girlfriends at a CBD bar for an after-work drink when a clearly intoxicated man joined our table. He had a huge Rolex watch that was hard to miss and a shining gold wedding ring.
He slurred at us that he had come from a long lunch, and requested we joined him and his mates at a table on the other side of the bar. One look over that direction, and it was clear they were all married men who had just enjoyed a boozy lads lunch.
We politely thanked him for the invitation and said we might later. Code words for: absolutely not.
Over the next hour he proceeded to do hot laps past our table, every time insisting we join his group. We eventually left.
Now gents, I get that you're probably going through some mid-life crisis, but can you sort it out? Because every time you attempt to take up space with us singletons, you're filling a space that should be filled by single men. And it's really getting annoying.
So choof off to therapy, or your wives, or your mistresses. And leave us singletons to make eyes with other singletons in bars. Seriously.