Plane passenger sparks fierce debate after revealing she left her 6ft 6in brother to sit in economy while she accepted a first class upgrade during 12-hour flight

A plane passenger has sparked fierce debate after revealing she left her 6ft 6in brother to sit in economy while she accepted a first class upgrade during 12-hour flight.

The woman, known only as Abby, took to Reddit's popular Am I The A**hole thread to ask if she was in the wrong for accepting the upgrade during the 12-hour flight.

Abby, who is only 5ft 1in, explained that she had been offered the chance to sit in first class as she headed to Hawaii to celebrate her father's retirement.

She took the opportunity 'in a heartbeat' but was later given the cold shoulder by her family who branded her actions as 'awful.' 

The keen traveler, known only as Abby, took to Reddit's popular Am I The A**hole thread to ask if she was in the wrong for accepting the upgrade during the 12-hour flight 

In the post, which was shared last week, Abby began: 'We are at the beginning of my dad's retirement family trip. He is paying for all of us to meet as a family in Hawaii for a week since he is retiring after working at the same company for 42 years. 

'There are six of us but my brother and I live in the same part of the country.

'I guess it's relevant to say I am 5ft1in and my brother is 6ft6in. I fly all the time for work and have quite a bit of status with the airline for which my dad bought our tickets.'

She continued: 'We were all boarded and ready to go when a flight attendant came up to me and whispered that they had a first class passenger not show up and they needed the coach seat to accommodate a standby passenger. 

'She said I had by far the most status of anyone on the plane so they were willing to move me to first class for free. I was like oh yeah - and I took it in a heartbeat. 

'I told my brother I'd see him in 12 hours and let me know if he wanted any food or drink and I grabbed my stuff and moved. Needless to say I had a nice flight.'

But relations started to get frosty after the flight reached its destination. 

'When we landed and were waiting for our shuttle my brother was so p**sy but wouldn't tell me what was going on. He didn't speak to me the whole shuttle ride. 

Abby, who is only 5ft 1in, explained that she had been offered the chance to sit in first class as she headed to Hawaii to celebrate her father's retirement (stock image)

'We had a nice hello with the rest of the family but after I got down from my shower my mom took me aside and said what I did "was awful." 

'I asked her what she was talking about and she said that I should have given my brother the seat. I thought that would be the end of it but all 5 of my siblings and my parents are upset with me and the vacation is off to a very rough start.

'I was trying to play with my niece and nephew in the lobby waiting for lunch and my sister said "no they only like to play with people who give a shit about their family--what were you thinking?"  

'I asked her if this was about the first class thing and she said "what do you think its about?" I said that he never asked me to switch with him, she said "an asshole makes people beg, family members don't."'

'I've been by myself since brunch and not having much fun.' 

Her post was soon flooded with comments with readers left bitterly divided. 

On the one hand, many people insisted that she was not in the wrong as one person wrote: 'NTA, but you sure have a family of them. Your status got you the offer. If you declined it, it wouldn't have gone to your brother anyway. 

'No reason you should have turned it down just to stay in coach with your brother. Try to explain it to your family, but none of this makes you an a**hole.'

A second person commented: 'Your brother is a passive-aggressive whiner, who apparently can't even USE HIS WORDS, and runs to his mommy to fight his disputes for him. 

'You totally deserved that upgrade, and even more so in retrospect, because of how your brother acted like a toddler, who missed his nap. You (and your niece and nephew) are the only non-A's in this story.'

On the one hand, many people insisted that she was not in the wrong as one person wrote: ' NTA , but you sure have a family of them' 

Another added: 'NTA. You earned your status by flying so frequently for work. Your brother did not - he's not entitled to YOUR upgrade [that] YOU earned. 

'I'd also argue that if you're flying that frequently, you deserve first class every once [in a] while. I honestly think it's s***ty your whole family has sided with your brother. 

'If they are SO concerned with his comfort, they could have all chipped in to ensure he got a seat with more leg room in first class.'      

Someone else commented: 'NTA... seriously? Why is your brother magically entitled to use your points/status? No. You family sounds awful. Don't tolerate this for a moment.' 

A fifth person wrote: 'The seat would NOT have gone to your brother. If you declined it, the seat would have gone to the person with the next-highest points. 

'Your family needs to SERIOUSLY get over themselves. NTA.'

One person added: 'I hate when people spend other people's money. You earned those points by flying. Giving the upgrade to your brother amounted to giving him A LOT of money. NTA.'

But, on the other hand, there were those who thought she was in the wrong.

One person wrote: 'Finally, a voice of reason! I'm five-foot-six [and] my brother is six-foot-three. If I was in the same situation, I would have offered to swap for part of the flight. 

'A 12-hour-flight at that. Technically, she didn't have to, but it would have been the kind thing to do. YTA.'

A second person added: 'By the letter of the law you're n-t-a. But in my opinion, you're 100000 per cent YTA. 

But, on the other hand, there were those who thought she was in the wrong. One person wrote: 'Finally, a voice of reason!' 

'I'm five-feet. My father is six-foot-three and big boned. If this was our situation, it wouldn't have even been an offer - I would have insisted he sit in the seat.       

'Traveling is uncomfortable for everyone, but at least it's the least uncomfortable for us short people. Six-foot-six? It wouldn't have been a question to give the seat to a brother.'

A third person wrote: 'She could 100 per cent have given the seat to her brother. You can voluntarily give your upgraded seat to anyone you want. 

'It's just a seat swap. I've done it with my spouse, my mom [and] a total stranger.  

'The airline doesn't care. He wasn't entitled to it, but that's a different issue. Side point. 

'Does anyone else think it's moderately [an] a**hole move to peace out on your travel companion for 12 hours? People decline upgrades all the time for exactly this reason.'

Abby went back into her post to add an edit to provide further context about the situation after getting a lot of commenters.

She added: 'Wow this totally blew up, thank you for commenting everyone. 

'I only saw my family for a little yesterday, and they were still made at me to varying degrees. 

'I have a really good friend that lives here in the military, so she hung out with [me], and we met some really fun and cute guys at a dive bar. 

She took the opportunity 'in a heartbeat' but was later given the cold shoulder by her family who branded her actions as 'awful' (stock image) 

'So my vacation will be great, no matter what. But reading your comments really gave me to confidence to not give a c**** (or try to at least!), thank you.'

California-based Dr. Kathy Nickerson, PhD, a clinical psychologist has since shared with Fox News Digital: 'It would have been nice for the [Reddit writer] to give her brother the upgrade because coach is far less comfortable for someone who is six-feet-six, than five-feet-one.

'However, I can understand that since the flight attendant whispered in her ear, [the woman] might have thought she needed to be discreet and not offer it to her brother.

California-based Dr. Kathy Nickerson, PhD, a clinical psychologist has shared her opinion on the heated Reddit debate

'If we could go back in time, I would have whispered in [the woman's] ear: 'Are you OK here? I know it is not first class, but can you deal with this, and let your brother go instead? Seems like he's pretty uncomfortable.'

Kathy added that it would have been 'a thoughtful, loving, kind gesture' for the women to offer her brother the first class seat instead.

She added: 'Now that it is done, the best thing to do is apologize to her brother and express understanding to her family. 

'It's reasonable for everyone to feel the way they do. It's not so reasonable to ruin the family vacation because of it.

'People make poor decisions all the time. People can be selfish and thoughtless sometimes. Everyone deserves compassion, and a chance to make amends. 

'Having everyone in the family berate and criticize the [woman] is not helpful. It creates an emotionally unsafe environment, which only encourages more harmful behavior.'

Kathy recommended for all the relatives to have 'a family meeting, where they can apologize for the hurtful choices, all around, and express some understanding for the others' feelings and agree to do better next time, then move on.  

She added that the focus moving forward should be: 'Let's forgive each other, learn from this and enjoy our trip.'