DEAR JANE: My boss's WIFE sent me the most passive aggressive email - and I have NO idea how to respond without getting fired

Dear Jane,

I just received such a passive aggressive email from my boss's wife and I'm totally confused about how to respond. 

To give you a bit of background, I've been working as an executive assistant to a hedge fund manager for several months now and I've been loving my job so far. My boss is laidback, really friendly (in a non-creepy way), and he's been great at helping me to balance my work with my life at home with my two kids.

Because of the nature of his job however, he does need to contact me pretty frequently outside of normal working hours. I essentially run his life at this point, including making restaurant reservations, buying birthday gifts for his kids, and managing all of his travel.

Recently he asked for my help in organizing a surprise for his wife to mark their 12-year anniversary and obviously I was more than happy to do so! I love this kind of stuff. 

Dear Jane, my boss's wife sent me a horribly passive aggressive email - and I'm terrified I'll be fired if I say the wrong thing in response

He wanted to arrange a weekend away for the two of them at a really nice hotel and asked me to take care of the booking, and also speak to the staff to get some special surprises sorted. Balloons in the room, champagne, roses, you get the idea. 

I spent so much time chatting with the hotel staff and getting everything set up – but somewhere along the way, there was a miscommunication, and when my boss and his wife arrived at the hotel, the note that was placed by the champagne welcoming them to their room said my name rather than hers.

I was absolutely mortified when my boss sent me a picture of the note, but thankfully he didn't seem upset at all, and told me not to worry, that mix-ups like this happen all the time.

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But today, an email popped up in my inbox from his wife. I initially thought maybe she'd mistakenly sent something to me instead of her husband… then I opened it. 

It read: 'Thanks so much for all your help in organizing an unforgettable anniversary weekend. Your "special" work for my husband and out-of-hours attention does not go unnoticed.'

Maybe I'm reading into this way too much but I can't help but feel like she's sending me a message here. I got goosebumps as soon as I read it.

I don't want to be rude and ignore her – but I also don't want her to think I'm stupid, or worse, disrespectful, if I just reply like everything's hunky dory?

What would you say?

From,

Overtime Agony

Dear Overtime Agony,

Often I advise people to write back with enormous clarity asking what people meant. In this case, I think you have done nothing wrong, nor can you really know what she meant by use of the word 'special'.

Rather than engaging with your boss's wife in any meaningful way, I would write back and say something along the lines of: 'Thank you for such kind words. I'm delighted (albeit more than a little embarrassed about the name mix-up) that everything worked out so well. 

'Happy anniversary again, and please let me know if there is anything else I can help you with.'

Clear, friendly, and not picking up what she may or may not be trying to put down. 

Then let it go. 

Other people's bad behavior only becomes our business if we allow it to, and right now there is nothing meaningful to address. 

Soar and ignore is my wisdom for the day!