Man, 28, sparks fierce debate after revealing he has been cheating on his wife who has REFUSED to have sex in two years - and instead urged him to 'go get it elsewhere'

A 28-year-old man has sparked fierce debate after revealing he slept with another woman after his wife told him to 'go get it elsewhere.'

The unnamed lothario took to Reddit's popular AITAH - Am I The A**hole - thread to ask whether he was in the wrong for straying from his marriage because his wife 'didn't want to have sex any more.'

He said that his spouse had told him to 'go get it elsewhere because you are not getting it from me' - which is exactly what he did.

Readers were left bitterly divided over the man's illicit admissions but what do you think?

The unnamed lothario took to Reddit's popular AITAH - Am I The A**hole - thread to ask whether he was in the wrong for straying from his marriage because his wife 'didn't want to have sex any more' 

In the post, which was shared earlier this week, the man began: 'Basically my wife has decided unilaterally that we are done having sex. 

'She found out that she cannot have kids due to a choice she made before we met. And kids, apparently, are the only reason she was willing to have sex.

'I love my wife and I enjoy being intimate with her. But it was making our marriage untenable after two years of this.' 

He admitted that he had tried to talk to his wife and had even started going for counseling - but was still running into difficulties.

'No matter how I approached her about our situation she would not try and see it from my point of view. Every discussion would end with her crying and screaming in my face that I am trying to emotionally manipulate her. 

'I then wrote her a letter outlining my feelings and asking her to come with me for counseling, to seek it for herself, perhaps to go see a doctor. I was kind and loving in the letter. 

'The last thing I wanted to do was set her off. I worked on the wording with my counselor to make sure I wasn't saying anything aggressive that could be misinterpreted.'

The man said that his spouse read the letter but 'scrawled across it with her red Sharpie, "go get it elsewhere because you are not getting it from me."'

He said that his spouse had told him to 'go get it elsewhere because you are not getting it from me' - which is exactly what he did (stock image)

He explained: 'Then she walked out. I sat there for about an hour doing nothing. Then I told myself that was what I was going to do.

'We are both fairly successful in our jobs, I'm not super attractive but I'm fit and a good talker. It took a while but I met someone. We started out as just friends but it became physical. I made sure she knew I was married. She is not interested in a relationship so I guess I am a safe option for her.

'My wife found out because I did not try and hide it. She was crying when I got home one night. When I came in she asked if I was going to leave her. I said no.

'She asked if I was cheating on her and I said I was getting sex elsewhere. She said that was cheating and I did not disagree. I asked her what she wanted to do. She said I had to stop. I asked her if we were going to start having sex. She said I was an irrational a**hole if I thought that she would have sex with me after I cheated. 

'I went to my desk and pulled out a photocopy of the letter I wrote with her answer in it.'

The exasperated husband continued: 'I went to have a shower and go to my room to sleep. When I woke up she was sitting on the couch waiting to talk.

'She said that she reread the letter and that she realized she had not before. She assumed it was just a letter begging for sex. She said she would go for counseling alone and with me. All I had to do was stop having sex elsewhere.

The post was quickly flooded with comments with lots of mixed comments as one person wrote: 'I honestly thought this was written by some middle-aged man' 

'I said I would be willing to pause my friendship until we saw a counselor. And that if I saw progress in our relationship I would break it off. She said she would not agree to counseling without me leaving the other woman.

'It almost turned into a fight so I just went for my run. Before I left I asked her what would compel her to go to counseling if I stopped having sex elsewhere. When I got back she still did not have an answer. She couldn't even say that our relationship was worth saving.'

He concluded: 'I don't want a divorce. But I am willing to leave over this. I am 28 I am not going the rest of my life without sex. She refuses to see my side.'

The post was quickly flooded with comments with lots of mixed comments. 

One person wrote: 'I honestly thought this was written by some middle-aged man. You're too young for that s**t bro.'

Another commented: 'Why don't you just leave her?? I'm so confused.'

A third person added: 'The fact that you made a photocopy of the letter tells me you already know this train is headed for DivorceTown.'

Someone else wrote: 'There's no saving this. You two aren't compatible. This is going to be the rest of your life. You two [are] hurting each other.

'She's hurting you by not wanting sex, you are hurting her by having sex with other people.'

Another added: 'The fact that you made a photocopy of the letter tells me you already know this train is headed for DivorceTown'

A fifth person commented: 'Holy crap. Only 28, and willing to go through all this, just to have some (little begging, only with counselling) sex??

'You've got years of sex left in you. Go find someone who loves and wants all of you fully.

'You deserve better, and she deserves to find someone she can be in an asexual relationship with, if that's what she wants.'

One person added: 'You just aren't compatible. Divorce sucks, but the faster its done, the sooner the both of you can heal. It's gonna happen sooner or later anyway, so might as well be done with it. NTA.'

Another person wrote: 'NTA. You and your wife aren't compatible and the relationship is over.'

Others urged that he 'deserved better' and tried to convince him to get a divorce

Others were left much more outraged by the confession.

One person wrote: 'YTA for not just leaving her. This relationship is ultra dysfunctional. Move on.'

A second person commented: 'You should have divorced her before having sex with someone else. 

'Really no way around it - even if she wrote what she did on your letter. She sounds unhinged. How could you have known she meant it? 

'You could have told her that you really were going to do that then, and if she said she was fine with that, then you go do it. 

'She's not right, but what you did is wrong too. YTA.'

A third person added: 'Dude, you've already left her in everything but physical presence. Just leave. NTA for wanting to leave. YTA for how you're handling all of this.'

Others were left much more outraged by the confession as one person dished: 'YTA for not just leaving her. This relationship is ultra dysfunctional'

Another wrote: 'YTA for not leaving her. Get the papers served and start a new life. You deserve better.'

Someone else commented: 'I don't even need to read the post. Unless you had an explicit agreement that you could seek sex outside of the marriage, then YTA.

'If you're not happy, just leave. That's what I did after 12 years (five married). All the excuses in the world don't counterbalance your own happiness. 

'I hope you make the right decision for both of you and that you find happiness.'

One person added: 'YTA. What you are doing is sexual harassment. She does not want sex. She asked you to break up with the woman whom you are having an affair. 

'You have refused because you want to use the affair as leverage to get sex from your wife. Get a divorce.'

Another person wrote: 'YTA. Wow. So have you ever considered that not being able to have kids was a huge psychological blow to your wife and constantly pestering her for sex, just made it worse? 

'Did you ever try to talk to her about going to counseling together? 

'Did you ever ask her why she no longer wanted to have sex, in a loving, non-pestering-for-sex type of way? Did you ever listen to her without making it about yourself?'