Meghan Markle's mentor and famed NBC exec Bonnie Hammer reveals the cunning 'lies' women are told that RUIN their shot at success

Meghan Markle's mentor Bonnie Hammer has lifted the lid on the various 'lies' women are told in the workplace that are holding them back. 

The 74-year-old NBCUniversal vice chairman and author of the bestselling book, 15 Lies Women Are Told at Work: …And the Truth We Need To Succeed, has dedicated her career to becoming the 'Queen of Cable' while building an impressive resume. 

Now, after becoming free from the 'corporate pressures,' Bonnie has revealed her secrets to rising to the top of the nine-to-five food chain - including letting go of your dreams and how you can take advantage of the seven seconds that could make or break your career. 

Speaking exclusively to DailyMail.com, the brain behind hit shows like Suits and Psych shared how women in the workplace can shift male-dominated fields to work in their favor and get every promotion they want - all while staying true to themselves.

Meghan Markle's mentor Bonnie Hammer (seen in 2020) has lifted the lid on the various 'lies' women are told in the workplace

After becoming free from the 'corporate pressures,' Bonnie (seen with the female cast members of Suits) has revealed her secrets to rising to the top of the nine-to-five food chain

After more than four decades tirelessly working as a leader in the cable arena, the executive has garnered a slew of lessons and information from working in the field and from advice given by her mentors. 

It wasn't until much further into her impressive career that she realized many of the tips she received came from men. 

The 74-year-old NBCUniversal Vice Chairman and author of the best-selling book, 15 Lies Women Are Told at Work: …And the Truth We Need to Succeed, has dedicated her career to becoming the 'Queen of Cable' 

Bonnie admitted to DailyMail.com: 'There were so few women to help guide me about what it's like to navigate the world as a woman in the entertainment industry or the industry at large.' 

She soon recognized that the messages women in corporate America had acquired was apart of a 'dangerously cliched manuscript.' 

The 74-year-old then decided to unveil the lies and the uncomfortable truths that would help women succeed in her new book, which was released May 7. 

Speaking to DailyMail.com, the cable mogul shared the reason behind why she penned a book about women in the workforce. 

Bonnie explained: 'I'm in a place in my career where I'm agenda free, probably for the first time. No corporate pressures. I'm not asking for money, for marketing, for show, protecting my people, so it gives me some time to kind of look back on.

'I know what I've done, how I've succeeded, what I screwed up, fired, misfired all this stuff in a way that gave me perspective. I also realized during this time that there were so few women around to help me navigate the world during my time, my generation, that I felt it's really important to change that.

'I was very lucky. I had a lot of, or a couple of great mentors, but they were "men"- tors. There were so few women to help guide me about what it's like to navigate the world as a woman in the entertainment industry or the industry at large. ' 

The executive also shared that she began to think back to the advice women had been given about the corporate world.

Speaking exclusively to DailyMail.com, the brain behind hit shows like Suits and Psych shared how women in the workplace can shift male-dominated fields to work in their favor (seen with Martha Stewart and Patricia Mitchell in 2007)

After more than four decades tirelessly working as a leader in the cable arena, the TV executive garnered a slew of lessons and information (seen in 2007)

It wasn't until much further into her impressive career that she realized many of the tips she received came from men (seen with Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian in 2016)

'I started thinking about all of the clichés, the mantras, in a sense, the bulls***. The lies that we were brought up to believe... it's kind of a misinformation campaign.

'It's dangerous. It's a dangerously cliched manuscript for navigating the workplace, and if you follow it, if you mistake these sound bites with sound advice, it's kind of like self sabotage. So I wanted to get out there and talk to the misinformation, the stuff that women believe that if they follow could hurt them.

'Women push away what will hurt them and kind of hear or listen to. In a sense, the uncommon sense is what they need, which is pretty basic to succeed.' 

At the beginning of her book, she began by discussing a lie that is engrained into women's brains when they're just young girls. 

While you have probably heard and even been told the phrase, 'follow your dreams,' millions of times, Bonnie is setting the record straight when it comes to the motivational saying - noting that it's just another myth.

She said that instead of following your dreams, you should follow opportunities.

Bonnie even said that this could be translated into parenting techniques too - adding that if young girls weren't told to chase their dreams, they would have more success in the future. 

'If you think about where our dreams come from, whether it's cartoons, fairy tales, superhero shows, our parents whispering in our ear, perhaps what they would have loved to have done had they have had the opportunity when they were growing up, you know you can't be what you can see, and you can't dream what you don't know, so, how do you follow these streams which you don't know if they fit in any way, shape or form?' she told DailyMail.com

Speaking to DailyMail.com, the cable mogul shared the reason behind why she penned a book about women in the workforce (seen in 2006)

At the beginning of her book, she began by discussing a lie that is engrained into women's brains when their just young girls (seen with John Travolta in 2004)

'Now, I'm not telling people, especially women, to give up dreams, to give up passions, those can remain in your life, but they don't have to be your boss.'

Instead of chasing those passions, she advised you run after opportunities. 

She explained: 'It's following opportunities. Learn as much as you can, do as much as you can, because as you grow up, and as you become an adult in the workplace you will probably find another dream that could genuinely be a dream job because it fits you. It fits your strength, your potential, your areas of interest when you're in a young adult, and you can genuinely judge.

'When you follow opportunities, you broaden, you build your skill set, you become much more valuable to so many other people, and in so many other places, that you have many, many more options.' 

And that's not the only myth that women are told from a young age. 

Bonnie shared that the phrase, 'know your worth,' can often be perceived the wrong way - adding in her book that this is a mantra that's 'plastered' on social media and greeting cards. 

She noted that instead of following your dreams, you should follow opportunities (seen with Matt Bomer in 2020)

She said: 'When we're young, most of us are worthless. And we should expect to be treated that way. Before I get canceled or called out on social media, let me be clear. I'm not telling you to put up with a cheating boyfriend or let your landlord go for months without fixing the broken drain in the shower you share with three roommates and a formerly stray cat.

'What I am saying is that our personal worth and our professional worth are entirely different things. Conflating our value on the job with our value off of it is like sticking our hand out the window in New York and thinking it'll tell us the temperature in New Delhi.'

While speaking to DailyMail.com, she added that those who were desperate for 'participation trophies' wouldn't thrive in the corporate world. 

'We're all born with personal worth, but we conflate personal work and professional work. You have to earn. You have to work on your professional work,' she explained.

'I think it's partially my generation's fault because we brought up a young generation with things like aids for effort participation trophies. We've conflated success and failure to mean the same thing. We've created safe spaces, so heaven forbid people don't want to hear or see something, an environment that isn't real in terms of the actual world we live in. 

'I think it's hurting kids because everything has been relatively easy and perfect that when they get into a situation that isn't that way they're not ready to deal with it and grasp it and push their way through.

'So working at you worth [is] showing people that you're willing to work hard. Come in early, stay late.' 

While speaking to DailyMail.com, she added that those who were desperate for 'participation trophies' wouldn't thrive in the corporate world (seen with Meghan Markle in 2015)

The business role model noted that you should always try to remind workers to 'be positive' and 'be an optimist' because it will leave people longing to be around you (seen in 2012)

The business role model noted that you should always try to remind workers to 'be positive' and 'be an optimist' because it would leave people longing to be around you. 

One of her biggest pieces of advice to women in the workforce is to develop a strong relationship with a mentor who will give them tough love, instead of being their 'cheerleader.' 

'Mentors who really teach you, I call them challenging mentors, are more like devil's advocates. They're sparring partners. They are challengers. They put the tough into tough love, and at times it can be tough because they tell you those things that other people won't say they are,' she told DailyMail.com.

'So, they help you understand how far you can go, but they're also going to tell you the truth when something isn't gonna work.

'Those are the people who really teach you, force you to learn, and I look back at the couple of mentors that I've had that were my challenging mentors, and they're the ones I give credit to for my growth.'

The Vice Chairman even revealed the mentor she credits much of her success to - founder of Fox Broadcasting, Barry Dillard. 

She described Barry as 'tough' and joked that she used to paint his name on her punching bag during her kickboxing course to get the anger out. 

Throughout her career, Bonnie has become a well-loved mentor to a slew of successful women - including Meghan Markle and Hoda Kotb. 

She described the two powerful women as 'incredible' and 'genuine' - adding that Meghan was eager to learn while working on Suits. 

The mentor raved about the Duchess of Sussex, telling DailyMail.com, 'Megan was incredible. When she worked on Suits and worked on Our Family she absorbed help, she was willing to ask questions. She worked her butt off.

'She was amazing on staff, but she wasn't afraid to raise her hand and say, "Can you explain? Can you help me with something if I wanna be more than just a young star?"

'It wasn't quite an ensemble cast. She was one of the more junior people on the show, and she grew into part of the ensemble because she worked her butt off. She tried hard, ask questions, and had a can do attitude.

'She was very strong, and she was amazing on the show, and again did she absorb what I said. I think she absorbed what anyone and everyone told her that she believed would help her performance or help her do well in that situation. So I give her a lot of credit for that.' 

And as for the Today Show co-host, Bonnie branded Hoda 'one of the most genuine, authentic, hardworking, open, and honest humans I have dealt with in this business.' 

Throughout her career, Bonnie has become a well-loved mentor to a slew of successful women - including Meghan Markle and Hoda Kotb

And as for the Today Show co-host, Bonnie branded Hoda 'one of the most genuine, authentic, hardworking, open, and honest humans I have dealt with in this business' (seen with Hoda in 2015)

Both Meghan and Hoda broke out of male-dominated fields and set themselves apart from the men in suits to become role models of the corporate world. 

Luckily, Bonnie divulged the details of how any woman can shine through a roomful of men by curating their 'XX factor.'

According to Bonnie, to get ahead, women try to tap into the emotions of men and imitate them.

She explained that this wasn't the correct way to go about climbing the corporate ladder - adding that being a woman is one of your greatest tools and by learning how to use it to your advantage. 

The NBCUniversal Vice Chairman told DailyMail.com: 'Many women grew up believing they had to echo or copy male behavior, and there's nothing wrong with how men work or interact in the workplace. But it is not authentic to women. It's not authentic to us.

'Even if corporate America is predominantly male, there's room for all of us. It doesn't have to be one or the other. It is big enough, broad enough so we can all survive and work together and play together, and that's great. The biggest mistake women make is ignoring, giving up, or not even understanding that of their strength comes from who we are as a woman, our ability to care. It is innate in us. We have a caring instinct, we collaborate, we can juggle, we can handle multiple tasks because so many of us are parents while we're working full-time or dealing with elder parents as well. We are juggling so much, that work is just another thing.'

The business mogul noted that the 'caring and empathic' qualities that women possessed could help them excel in the workplace. 

In addition to using their personalities to their benefit, Bonnie recommended women pay close attention to how they come across, specifically during the first seven seconds of meeting someone. 

The business mogul noted that the 'caring and empathic' qualities that women possessed could help them excel in the workplace (seen in 2015)

The cable tycoon explained that in the first seven seconds of meeting someone, they have already made up their mind about what they think about you. 

And while the tycoon made sure to emphasize that it wasn't about beauty or style, she did note that you should make an effort to look 'put together.' 

She explained to DailyMail.com: 'Presence is really important, and it has nothing to do with beauty, looks, or attractiveness. It's how you present your best self to whomever you're meeting at any moment in time 

'It's being put together. It's making sure the details whether it's a jean outfit or a dress, or anything that the details work, because details matter. People are going to look at you, and if you look confident, if your posture is good. If you're looking them in the eyes, if you're listening to them, it's going to make an impression on them and they're going to want to get to know you further.

'It's extremely important in terms of what that presence means because if you have no attention to details, why is somebody else going to believe that you can take care of the details in a job? If you look like you're a mess, they're gonna assume your work style is a mess.   

'If you're put together nicely, they're gonna assume you have got your act together. The other thing is, as researchers recently told us, it takes seven seconds to make an impression on a person. You haven't even opened up your mouth yet.

'To reverse that impression is very, very difficult, so take advantage of those seven seconds.' 

At the end of her book, Bonnie suggests that both women and men begin embracing change.

Her biggest piece of advice for those who feel uncomfortable with changing circumstances is to embrace it and accept that it's happening.

She added: 'You can't stop it. It's going to happen whether you wanted to or not. So wasting time worrying about it, trying to stop it, pretending it doesn't exist. It's just a waste, because it's going to be there. So the best advice is to figure out a way to embrace it.'

Bonnie's book 15 Lies Women Are Told at Work: …And the Truth We Need to Succeed is now available for purchase.