SAUCY SECRETS: I've been sleeping with a married TV star every time she's in town. The sexual chemistry is amazing - will she leave her husband?

Dear Jana,

I'm a single reality TV contestant and I've been seeing **married TV star** every time she's in town. We have amazing sexual chemistry. What are the odds she will leave her husband so we can be together?

Dear reality TV contestant,

I've got some grim news for you, I'm afraid. The odds are very low. I've seen this play out a million times and never in the single person's favour.

The number of hours I've spent on the phone to friends crying about their married lovers is extraordinary. Telling them over and over again to dump the dud and find someone available - and do they? No. Not for a long time. And that time they could have been spending making love heart emoji eyes with their future husbands. So please don't waste your time.

Sadly we singletons are very good at stroking these married lotharios' egos and making them still feel desirable outside of their marriage, but why would they want anything more than that? They've got their cake and they're eating it, too.

And here's some sobering news, statistically only 3-5 per cent of married people who have affairs go on to divorce their partner and marry the person they've cheated with.

So, let me ask you this, if she did leave her husband for you would you ever really trust her? If she was happy to cheat on him, there will always be a question in your mind if she could do the same to you. The suspicion would slowly eat you alive.

So, my advice: dump the dud.  

Jana Hocking shares her best Saucy Secrets - and trademark sassy advice

Dear Jana, 

My wife recently told me she wants to trial an open relationship. We're high school sweethearts, having got together when we were 16 and married by the age of 24. 

Now as we fast approach our 40th birthdays, she feels like she missed out on dating and is upset that she has only ever slept with one person - me. 

At first I was upset by her request, but the more I think about it, the more it excites me. We've both kept in good shape and I think we could do well on the dating scene. 

Do you think this is a wise decision, and how would we navigate it?

Josh.

Hi Josh, 

I'm I'm going to be perfectly blunt with you. Yes, yes I do think it's a wise decision. No one should be denied a full and robust sex life. When I'm old and grey I want to think back fondly on my time between the sheets. And good lord, if I had of married my high school boyfriend, I fear that life would have become rather dull getting jiggy with the same person my whole life. But be prepared for a hell of a ride because open relationships are not for the faint hearted.

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Trust me, there will be tears. But also, hopefully orgasms.

I've been with men in open relationships and I've seen the upsides and downsides. So here are a few important things to consider: 

Jealousy: Sure, you might be ready to jump on the apps and swipe right on some hotties but remember that your wife will be doing the same. And God forbid you discover like most men, that the apps are forever working in women's favour. Yes, statistically she has a higher chance of getting more matches than you. Assess how that would make you feel. Do you feel the green-eyed monster coming out at just the thought of it?

Ground rules: This is where most people in open relationships find themselves in a pickle. If you don't have a frank discussion on what is and isn't allowed, you mind find yourself in many arguments. Are you happy for them to date other people - we're talking dinner and sex - or would you prefer your partner had just one-night stands?

Be realistic: Let's face it, humans are now living longer and it's slightly ridiculous to think that just one romantic partner can give you everything you need in life. But before you open up your relationship, consider the risks and decide whether they are worth putting your marriage in possible jeopardy. Also analyse possible alternatives like re-introducing date nights, or adding some new kinks to your bedroom shenanigans. If you still desire to experiment with someone new, then I say go for it. Just keep checking in on one another. Communication is key.

Jana Hocking shares advice on what to do if your partner wants an open relationship 

I'm married to a college professor (music). I'm a corporate attorney. We are both sapiosexual. We have an 'open marriage' but only with other sapiosexuals, which must pass credentials with the other before proceeding. Not easy… but worth the extra effort, makes it exciting.

Sapiosexual - someone who is aroused by intelligence in others.

MY VERDICT: Sounds like far too much effort.