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Dear Jane,
I'm a 35-year-old guy who manages a team of four women at a cosmetics company and recently my job has been put under threat because of a stupid and petty incident that I'm convinced was orchestrated.
I've been heading up the team for five months and my transition into the company was not made easy by the four women who are now reporting to me.
It felt like from the start they were trying to catch me out and make my job that much harder, and it became clear pretty quickly that they just didn't want me around.
The woman who held the role before me was there for years, they were all close friends, and I know the team was upset when she left to move to another state.
Dear Jane, I'm a 35-year-old man who manages a team of women. One of them recently quit because of a crazy reason - now the company wants to fire me over it
I knew I wasn't going to be bosom buddies with them all in the same way but I've really tried to make an effort to get to know them all, and it feels like it's been thrown back in my face.
The other day, one of them got a new haircut, so I complimented her on it and told her it looked great.
Rather than thanking me, she just fired back with a quip about how I must have thought she looked terrible before.
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That was not the case, and not what I said, but I shrugged it off and moved on.
However, the next thing I know, I'm being hauled in front of HR and told that this woman was 'so offended' by my 'insult' that she's now decided to resign – and that the rest of the team is threatening to go with her.
I tried to explain my position but they appear pretty determined that I should be the one to go and have said my job is now at serious risk.
I'm really not sure how to handle this. I know the dynamics are tricky here, but I don't want to go down without a fight. Is that foolish?
From,
Lonely At the Top
Dear Lonely At the Top,
This is a brave new world we are living in - and it's entirely possible that my tongue is firmly in cheek at that description - one where what used to be considered a compliment is now considered an insult and where many are now terrified of saying the wrong thing.
I have read and re-read your letter, and if indeed the company is asking, or suggesting that you leave, my suggestion to you is to get yourself to an employment lawyer pretty damn quick.
The dynamics don't seem tricky to me. It seems as if you have already been found guilty, and that your words are falling on deaf ears.
It also seems that if indeed they do fire you, you may have rights. I don't know where you stand, and wouldn't feel comfortable advising you to do anything other than talk to someone who will know exactly what you should be doing in this situation.
Wishing you much luck.