SAUCY SECRETS: I caught my partner pleasuring herself... but she won't sleep with me. How do I get our sex life back on track?

Dear Jana,

My girlfriend never initiates sex with me, and always pushes me away when I try. But I caught her pleasuring herself the other night so she clearly hasn't lost her sex drive. How do I get our relationship back on track?

Dear unintentionally celibate,

My question to you is, what are doing to make her want to have sex with you? Are you brushing your teeth, showering before bed, helping her around the house? It's one thing to want sex, but it's another to be worthy of it.

Seriously. I have so many girlfriends complain that they get home from a long day of work and their man is sitting in his dirty work clothes in front of the TV waiting for her to make dinner. They're constantly farting. Scratching their balls. And, dare I say it, have let themselves go. And yet expect women to treat them love gods.

To put it simply, minimal effort = minimal love making.

If you want your partner to rip your clothes off, how about you make an effort outside the bedroom. Compliment her, help around the house, take a shower before bed, surprise her with minty fresh breath. It's the small things that go a long way. Not just a boob squeeze and a grunt of 'do you wanna?' No. We don't.

Dear Jana,

I've started developing feelings for a co-worker who is senior in both age and position at my company. Is it wrong to act on my feelings? Like, will I get dragged into HR if I tell him how I feel?

Jana Hocking shares her best Saucy Secrets - and trademark sassy advice

Dear Sarah,

Let's be honest, the only real reason we go to work is so we can shamelessly flirt with co-workers. Sure, working from home is great for a lazy pyjamas day, but isn't it fun sharing some cheeky banter with the office hottie? Lord, it sure makes those spreadsheets a little less dull. But with HR laws as strict as they are these days, it really is a gamble.

Technically dating a co-worker isn't illegal, but you've got to make sure your 'first move' doesn't sit on the edge of sexual harassment.

Before making a move, I would suggest testing the waters first. Try and find out a little bit more about his life outside of work. Is he 100 per cent single? Do your conversations delve into topics outside of work? Does his body language suggest he's physically attracted to you? I would want to be 100 per cent sure he was keen before I made a move. In fact, I would wait for him to make the first move.

You've also got to consider the pitfalls. If you were to date and it all goes south, do you run the risk of losing your job? Does it affect the power balance? 

I once secretly dated a boss, and everyone clued on during a particular meeting when he said no to my idea and I fought back. I outright told him he was wrong and we would be going ahead with my proposal. Normally I would never have the balls to answer back so directly to a boss, but outside of work there was no hierarchy... and I momentarily forgot that in the work place he makes the final call. Actually, that's kinda hot now I think about it.

So, before you put yourself out on a limb that could be career-damaging make sure he is definitely into you. Oh, and not married. That's a whole other topic!

Dear Jana,

I want to ask my wife for a threesome for my birthday but afraid she will say no. How do I ask her without getting shamed?

Dear Tony,

Now listen carefully because there is a very delicate art to such a proposal. In fact, go get a pen and paper because you will want to make notes.

First of all, you don't want it to come across as too thirsty, and you don't want her to feel like she is not enough. So approach it in a way that is both reassuring and calm.

I would organise a romantic dinner, perhaps open a bottle of wine, and start by giving her a compliment. Like 'you look really beautiful tonight'. Then ask her how she feels about your love life, and if there's anything you could do to make it more enjoyable. Important tip here Tony: really listen to what she has to say! Don't just rush to the threesome chat.

Jana Hocking shares advice on what to do if you want get your sex life back on track

Then ask her if she is interested in spicing it up a little, trying something new. When she asks you to give her an example, don't just shout 'THREESOME!' Suggest a few things, but perhaps point out that a threesome has always been on your bucket list.

Once again, bring it back to her. For example, say something like 'I think it would be really hot to see you admired by another woman'. (Or man, no judgement here.) That way she feels included and the star of the show.

Then don't ask her to answer straight away, but to think about it for a while. She will probably be shocked at first, but you may be surprised to watch as the idea grows on her.

However, if the answer is no then don't push it. Perhaps just download some really good porn.

Good luck!