Harrowing moment 17-year-old girl attempts 'suicide by cop' by forcing them to shoot her before officers perform CPR as she cries for their forgiveness: 'I'm so so sorry'

Body camera footage from police in California shows a bleeding and crying 17-year-old girl apologizing to the officer who shot her three times after she teen taunted him to open fire after she deliberately ran at him with a six inch kitchen knife.

An officer responded to reports of a girl causing a disturbance behind a Carl Jr's fast food restaurant on North Rose Avenue in Oxnard with a 12-inch knife in her pocket, 

Oxnard Police Chief Scott Whitney described the 2019 confrontation in an edited video package posted online by his department.

The young woman involved, who has not been identified, survived the shooting and five years on from that traumatic day has gone on to help police officers with their training after she took responsibility for her actions. 

'This is not your typical officer involved shooting. A 17-yr-old girl attempted suicide by cop. She was shot 3 times. The officer saved her life. This young woman now shares her experience with police officers to help them understand what might be going on with a person who wants to commit suicide by cop,' Oxnard police posted online.

This photo made from a May 3, 2019 police video camera video released by the Oxnard Police Department showing an officer shooting a 17-year-old girl armed with a knife in California 

The girl, center, is seen alongside the officers who have undergone training to prevent incidents of 'suicide by cop'

'After I fell, I kind of got knocked back into my normal thinking state. That's why I was profusely apologizing. I wasn't apologizing because I got shot. I was apologizing because I hurt this officer and made him fear for his life,' the young woman, who is now 22, said.

'I feel bad saying this but when he said 'something's bad going to happen', I feel like he was giving me the pass [for him to shoot me and end this].'

The woman concerned recovered from her injuries and has since focused on improving her mental health, sitting down face to face with officer Timothy Roberts. 

She has spoken out about the importance of dealing with mental health issues and has also spent time talking to police officers about her experience in the hope they might gain understanding and insight on what might be happening with someone who might be attempting suicide by cop.

'In many of these situations, the person in my situation does not live,' she said. 'I feel like it's my duty, as someone who lived, to promote mental health awareness.' 

The teen taunted the officer with the knife in the hope of getting shot 

The officer involved did not realize that the young woman was hoping to get shot on purpose

The woman is now using her experience to help train police officers 

The teen said she had a history of suicidal ideation and had attempted suicide before. She said that she thought involving the police would be a more effective method, but she now regrets the decision.

'I do feel guilty for that assumption because a police officer is there to help,' the young woman said. 'It's horrible to want to turn them to harm someone in their community that they're sworn to protect.

'I don't want this guy living with the guilt of that. I didn't want anyone to be mad at that,' she went on. 

'It was frustrating that I couldn't move, and it was frustrating that I lived. It was frustrating that I couldn't talk to Officer Roberts,' she said. 

The teen and the officer met a few months after the shooting, in January 2020  and have remained in contact ever since.

Officer Roberts said that at the time he did not realize it was a suicide attempt.

'It's impossible to know that in the moment,' Roberts said. 'She didn't give any indication of that with what she was saying, either.' 

An officer responded to an empty lot behind a Carl Jr's in response to multiple calls allegedly made by the teenage girl reporting a disturbance cause by her

During the harrowing incident, Oxnard Officer Roberts' body camera records him warning the girl not to reach for the weapon.

'Why, what happens if I reach for it?' asks the girl, who's wearing a red shirt, blue shorts and sneakers.

'Then something bad is going to happen,' Roberts says, who had been with the Oxnard force for four years at the time. 

The camera then shows him backing away from the teen in a parking lot while ordering her to drop the knife. 

The girl ignores his commands and keeps walking toward him.'Come on, shoot me,' she tells the officer standing at a distance with his gun drawn. 'I've been waiting all day.'

'Drop it,' the officer orders. 

'No,' the teen replies.  

When she suddenly begins running at Roberts with the knife in her right hand, he shoots her multiple times and she collapses to the ground.

The officer in the video repeatedly orders the young woman to discard the knife, but each time she refuses   

Police say the teen was armed with this 12-inch kitchen knife at the time of the incident 

The video shows the 17-year-old taunting the cop and challenging him to open fire on her

The officer backs away until the girl breaks into a run, prompting him to shoot her three times

The teen collapses to the ground, bleeding and writhing in agony 

Two officers are then shown providing first aid to the girl as they wait for an ambulance to arrive.

'I'm so sorry,' the teen says while panting and writhing on the pavement.

'It's OK,' an officer responds.

The two officers are seen in the body camera footage surveying the girl's injuries, including gunshot wounds to the chest and thigh.  

Officer Roberts and his partner proceed to administer first aid to the girl 

The girl repeatedly apologizes to the cops while being treated for gunshot wounds  

The second officer arrived moments before the shooting and was preparing to use a beanbag weapon to try to subdue the girl, according to police.

Roberts had worked for the Oxnard Police Department since 2015 and was assigned to the patrol division.

Further investigation revealed that multiple 911 calls that were made that morning reporting a disturbed woman armed with a knife with the calls coming from the teen's own phone, leading them to believe that she 'deliberately intended to be shot by an officer.'