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I invited every child in my daughter's class to her birthday party except one - now mums are calling me a 'bully'
A mum has asked if she's in the wrong for not inviting her daughter's best friend to her 13th birthday.
The 36-year-old planned a sleepover party at a trampoline park and invited 19 students in her daughter's class, unaware she was leaving one out.
Then on the day of the party an extra girl, Kamilla, turned up with her mum and a box full of gifts.
'When we were booking the event, [my daughter] said to only book 19 places. I asked her if she was sure she wasn't missing out someone, but she assured me there were only 19 kids in her class and I was just misremembering,' the mum wrote on Reddit.
'When Kamilla went up to hug my daughter and wish her a happy birthday, she lightly pushed her away and told Kamilla she couldn't attend as we forgot to book her place.
'I apologised to Kamilla and her mother and offered to talk to the people in charge and pay for her place, but my daughter insisted that Kamilla couldn't come. Kamilla was very distraught over this and started sobbing.
When planning the party, the mother thought she was inviting everyone in her daughter's class and was told there were 19 students to invite. But she wasn't aware her daughter decided to exclude her 'best friend' (stock image)
'I pulled my daughter aside and asked her why Kamilla couldn't join, even though they used to be friendly and she'd invited every other student in her year. She said that Kamilla was just really weird, obsessive, and creepy, and she didn't want to be friends with her anymore,' the mum continued.
'I asked her if Kamilla was bullying her and she said no, she just didn't want to be around Kamilla. Kamilla's mother had found out about the party through another parent and Kamilla decided to surprise my daughter knowing she hadn't been given an invite.'
The mum returned the gifts and apologised then explained there wasn't enough space for her to join.
'Her mother started screaming at me, telling me that I was a grown adult woman bullying a pre-teen girl. I told her that it was my daughter's birthday party, she could invite whoever she wanted,' the post continued.
'She accused me of raising my daughter to be a bully, and that she couldn't just invite the entire class and exclude one girl. She claimed that Kamilla was my daughter's "best friend" and she had to right to be invited.'
The 'best friend' and her mum showed up at the party unannounced with a gift but were rejected as there was no space to join (stock image)
To diffuse the situation, the mum explained she couldn't force her daughter to invite someone 'just to be nice' and she 'didn't want to raise a doormat'.
'I didn't want to teach her to value the feelings of others at the expense of her own - if my daughter feels uncomfortable around someone, then I prioritise HER wellbeing over that of a strangers,' she continued.
Kamilla's mother is now speaking to the teachers at school in hope the daughter will not be punished for 'bullying'.
'I've tried explaining to her that my daughter was simply setting her boundaries, she shouldn't have to face consequences for that. Kamilla's mother said that I was an "evil b****" who "took joy in bullying little girls". Am I the a**hole?'
Many were quick to respond with blunt criticism of the mum's decision.
'The real issue here is your daughter lied to you about the class size so she could exclude this one person. It's possible that Kamilla makes your daughter uncomfortable but it's also possible that your daughter is being unnecessarily mean. With teenagers, it could go either way,' one Redditor wrote.
'I think you should go to the school and find out what's going on. You have no way of knowing if your daughter actually is being a bully until you find out for yourself.
'If she is bullying Kamilla, you need to know so you can correct the behaviour. Don't be so quick to believe your daughter is innocent here. Someone told Kamilla she could come to this party. Ask yourself this question: how did Kamilla know where the party was and what time it started?'
A third said: 'If this one student didn't bully her, wasn't rude, but just 'weird' your daughter is actively isolating and possibly bully a girl that just 'doesn't fit the crowd'. YTA and so is your daughter.'
Others said the mum wasn't in the wrong for standing up for her daughter.
'I'm going to be in the minority here, but [you're] not the a**hole. Kids calling someone weird is like an adult calling someone creepy - the person makes you uncomfortable. Tbh showing up to a party uninvited with that many gifts is weird behaviour for a child, creepy in an adult,' one said.
'I'm leaning towards not the a**hole. It's reading like either stalking/obsessive behaviour or love bombing. To bring that many gifts to a party you're not invited to,' another said.
'It's not your daughter's fault that this 'friend' makes her uncomfortable and stuff. Not the a**hole for standing up to your daughter,' one more said.