Bye, Bye, Bye, Tipsy Justin Timberlake! Your arrest drove your reputation into a ditch, so just moonwalk away... there's no coming back from this Driving-While-Idiot humiliation, writes KENNEDY

One-martini musician Justin Timberlake's eyes were redder than Satan's codpiece in that instantly infamous mugshot snapped after he was charged on Tuesday with drunk driving.

He's bringing sloppy back! 

And the more we learn about JT's Driving-While-Idiot arrest, the more it seems we're dealing with a washed-up dolt lacking the good sense to know when to quit.

In fact, he's starting to remind me of another broken-down dimwit who won't take the cue to exit stage left. (Hint: His initials are J.R.B.)

Witnesses at a trendy Hamptons gin joint where the 43-year-old was boozing claim the careening crooner was 'wasted' and started sipping some other dude's drink like a homeless guy digging through a restaurant dumpster.

That's par for the course for Joey Fatone's better half. In 2014, Justin told Oprah he once slammed a bottle of whiskey by himself, and, in 2019, the married father and aspiring D-list actor was spotted canoodling with actress Alisha Wainwright in a club in New Orleans.

The more we learn about JT's Driving-While-Idiot arrest, the more it seems we're dealing with a washed-up dolt lacking the good sense to know when to quit. 

One-martini musician Justin Timberlake 's eyes were redder than Satan's codpiece in that instantly infamous mugshot snapped after he was charged on Tuesday with drunk driving. 

Fedora-in-hand, Touchy-Timby apologized on social media writing: 'I displayed a strong lapse in judgment…'

Ok, Bill Clinton.

'But let me be clear– nothing happened between me and my co-star,' Justin wrote. 'I drank way too much that night and I regret my behavior.'

Fine - but here's why Mr. NSYNC ended up N'CUFFS on Tuesday.

Instead of calling a cab or phoning wifey Jessica Biel to pick him up – like a high-schooler who just puked his first gin/tequila/vodka daiquiri – Timberlake got behind the wheel of his $100,000 BMW X7.

Cops slapped the steel bracelets on him after he allegedly blew through a stop sign, swerved and drunkenly moonwalked through a sobriety test.

'I had one martini and followed my friends home,' Tipsy-Flake told the officer, according to the police report.

Right, Justin. And when you exposed Janet Jackson's boob to all of God-fearing America during the Super Bowl XXXVIII halftime show, it was just a 'wardrobe malfunction.'

And remember when Britney Spears claimed in her memoir that Justin pushed her to abort a baby that she wanted to keep? Maybe, she'll now pause the knife-juggling long enough to caption her next Insta post, 'Karma's a b****'.

Adding insult to injury, the young cop who hauled Timberlake off to the pokey apparenytly didn't even know who he was!

'This is going to ruin the tour,' JT reportedly muttered under his breath.

'What tour?' the officer replied.

HA! Justin and J.Lo should go on the road together. Call it the This is Us… Remember? tour.

In 2014, Justin told Oprah he once slammed a bottle of whiskey by himself. (Above) Timberlake in Brisbane, Australia during his 2007 tour

Witnesses at a trendy Hamptons gin joint (above) where the 43-year-old was boozing claim the careening crooner was 'wasted' and started sipping some other dude's drink like a homeless guy digging through a restaurant dumpster.

Right, Justin. And when you exposed Janet Jackson's boob to all of God-fearing America during the Super Bowl XXXVIII halftime show, it was just a 'wardrobe malfunction.'

Nearly as pathetic are the pseudo-celeb journalists who rushed to Timberlake's defense.

'He is not an irresponsible person. He's not reckless, careless,' sniffed CBS's Gayle King.

Not to be outdone, King of the Narcissists Chris Cuomo moaned about the 'negativity' of the media coverage.

All this North Korean-style propaganda would make White House Press Secretary Karine Jean Pierre blush.

She wants Americans to believe that those caught-on-camera moments of President Joe Biden wandering, shuffling, sniffing and freezing are just 'cheap fakes,' deceitfully edited to make Grandpa Joe appear dodderier than he really is.

But there's nothing exaggerated about Timberlake allegedly drinking a lake and getting behind the wheel. And there's nothing fake about Biden nodding off like Nana, name-checking dead people and falling up the stairs of Air Force One.

In the immortal words of Don Lemon – Joe and Justin are past their 'prime.'

If these aging icons aren't given the hook soon, they'll only be remembered for the humiliating twilight years instead of the greatest hits.

Hey boys – Bye, Bye, Bye.

BUSTED!

Anti-vaxxer Kristin Cavallari is now catching heat from fans for embracing modern medicine.

Back in 2022, the reality show star told fans she'd gotten a boob 'lift' when she was asked if her pumped up assets were real. 

This week the Laguna Beach alum finally revealed she had opted for implants too.

Perhaps Cavallari decided that honesty was the breast policy. 

In 2022, the reality show star told fans she'd gotten a boob 'lift', but this week the Laguna Beach alum revealed she opted for implants too.

BELICHICK'S NEW CHICK

Newly emerged video showed a nearly naked Bill Belichick, 72, strolling out of his 24-year-old cheerleader girlfriend's house like a Chippendale.

I know Old Man Foxborough – with 8 Super Bowl rings on his burly paw – is a legend in chilly Boston, but this is a lot to stomach.

Billy's bulging belly was spilling over his belt!

I wonder what this baby brunette sees in him?

She hears wedding bells.

He hears dinner bells.

I know Old Man Foxborough – with 8 Super Bowl rings on his burly paw – is a legend in chilly Boston, but this is a lot to stomach.

Billy's bulging belly was spilling over his belt! I wonder what this baby brunette sees in him?

SPIT ON A PLANE

A married couple faced a salivary shower on a flight to Denver this week when an adorable disease vector in the seat in front of them wouldn't stop blowing raspberries coating their faces in pre-school cooties.

They asked the unruly little monster's parents to rein in her but the milquetoast mom said she was powerless to contain her Spit-zilla.

I never thought I'd say this, but where is Anthony Fauci? Slap a mask mandate on that tiny terror!

HILLARY'S GOLDEN PARACHUTE

Hillary Clinton has officially left her Pantsuit period and entered her Moomoo milieu.

America's first female almost-president graced the Tony Awards stage on Sunday in a gold-gilded caftan so huge and hideous that a horde of anti-Israel protesters could have camped under it.

America's first female almost-president graced the Tony Awards stage on Sunday in a gold-gilded caftan so huge and hideous that a horde of anti-Israel protesters could have camped under it.

Hillary health truthers have long diagnosed the former Secretary of State from afar - but now they're convinced she's gone blind.

TORTURED DANCER DEPARTMENT

At a recent Eras concert, Elaine from Seinfeld – a.k.a. Taylor Swift – tried to shake it off by gyrating her hips on stage and looked as if she was mixing formaldehyde for her own embalming.

Easy granny – don't break a hip!

DARING DON 

Donald Trump reportedly told House Republicans last week that Nancy Pelosi's daughter revealed to him that, 'if things were different Nancy and I would be perfect together.'

The former House Speaker's eldest daughter, Christine fired back, 'Speaking for all 4 Pelosi daughters — this is a LIE.'

Hey Christine: Your mom seems so corrupt, even Trump wants a piece.