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John Mulaney's ex-wife reveals she wrote a SUICIDE note in the wake of him dumping her and starting relationship with Olivia Munn
Anna Marie Tendler revealed she wrote a suicide note before voluntarily checking herself into a mental health facility in 2021.
The 39-year-old, who was married to comedian John Mulaney, 40, for seven years, was hospitalized for depression and suicidal ideation in the first two weeks of 2021, roughly a year after her marriage started to crumble.
In a new essay published in Elle on July 23, the artist shared an excerpt of her experience from her upcoming memoir, Men Have Called Her Crazy.
In the piece, she describes her experience of checking herself into the facility, admitting she had written a suicide note in the past - although didn't specify when - before ripping it 'into tiny pieces the following day' and 'scattering it into various garbage cans' outside her New York City apartment.
Tendler, whose divorce from Mulaney was finalized in January 2022, recounted the harrowing first moments of when she was first admitted for treatment.
Anna Marie Tendler revealed she wrote a suicide note before voluntarily admitting herself to a mental health facility in 2021
While battling depression, Tendler said she had admitted herself hoping to 'reach a place where I can face hardship without trying to destroy myself.'
She then explained the process that followed her being admitted.
'First, they take my suitcase away from me. This is so they can search my clothes for drugs and weapons,' she explained.
'[The hospital staff] are warm, but not too warm, hardened from years of dealing with bulls**t from patients who check in against their will, who are angry to be here, and who take their anger out on the first line of duty,' she recounts.
Tendler, who was 36 when she was voluntarily admitted, said she was 'relieved, even happy' to be there, after her therapist had told her they were at an 'impasse' and in her own words, 'she was at a loss for what to do with me.'
She added that she held back tears while explaining that 'intense suicidal ideation, self-harm, disordered eating' is part of what pushed her towards treatment.
'The nurse then assesses me for suicide risk,' she wrote.
Remembering the conversation, the nurse asked the multimedia artist if she had 'thought about taking [her] life in the past 48 hours,' if she has 'the means to carry out this plan,' as well as asking her if she had been experiencing 'feelings of worthlessness.'
Tendler said she answered 'yes' to all three questions.
'On a scale from one to 10, with 10 being the greatest, how great is your desire to die?' she was asked, with Tendler firmly answering: 'Eleven.'
Mulaney and Tendler's divorce was finalized in 2022 after seven years of marriage. They are pictured here in 2019
While battling depression, Tendler said had admitted herself hoping to: 'reach a place where I can face hardship without trying to destroy myself'
Shortly after their divorce announcement, Mulaney went on to date Olivia Munn and quickly had a child with her, who was born in November 2021
She also admitted she had cut herself, writing: 'I wanted to die, but I cut myself instead, and that cutting wasn't meant to kill me.'
The writer shared more of the suicidal note she had written, admitting it was full of 'absurdity, its self-involvement.'
'It was largely about how no one around me seemed to be paying attention to my mental and physical decline,' she reflected.
She detailed parts of the note, which she said was filled with 'venom and rage,' admitting she was 'blinded by anger' at the time.
'Underneath the vanity was a deep depression, a seemingly bottomless chasm of worthlessness and anxiety,' she admitted. 'I was a woman losing her grip on a life I was holding so tightly to.'
Tendler's book, which is set to be released in August, reportedly doesn't mention Mulaney and their divorce.
'It is a story about mental health; about being a woman; about family,' Tendler wrote via social media. 'And finally, about the endless source of my heartbreak and rage - men.'
She said the book is a collection of experiences about how men have treated her.
Despite fan speculation, TMZ reported in March that 'sources with direct knowledge - who've already read Anna's memoir - said that John is never mentioned in her forthcoming offering... either directly or indirectly.'
Tendler's was hospitalized at the same time Mulaney, who was in rehab for 60 days for cocaine addiction and alcoholism in December 2020.
When he left the facility, he asked Tendler for a divorce.
Mulaney proposed to Tendler, a makeup artist, in 2013 and they tied the knot in July 2014. He then filed for divorce to end the marriage to Tendler in July 2021. Their divorce was finalized in January 2022.
At the time, Tendler released a statement saying she was 'heartbroken' by Mulaney's decision but wished him 'support and success.'
After their separation, Mulaney quickly started to date actress Olivia Munn and the couple had a child in November 2021.
If you or anyone you know needs help, you can reach Samaritans NYC at 212-673-3000 or the Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-488-7386.
For confidential assistance, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline on 988 or click here.