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Hello from Port Canaveral in Orlando and from a preview sailing to the Bahamas on a whole new genre of ship that offers the ultimate short-break cruise.
Utopia of the Seas cost more than £1billion ($1.3billion) to build and is Royal Caribbean’s 28th vessel. It’s also the first ship from the cruise line to specifically sail three and four-night voyages to the Caribbean.
The 18-deck, 5,700-passenger Utopia is designed to deliver a party-style high-octane getaway. A video I made showing the highlights of my time on board starts on the top deck, where a lot of the action is. Here, there are five pools, a zip line, an aqua park, a surf simulator and more.
Utopia is the second-biggest cruise ship in the world, after Royal Caribbean's Icon of the Seas, which is great news for your step count – it takes 3.5 minutes to walk from one end of the ship to the other and most days see you walking around 20,000 steps just heading from cabin to pool to dining room and so on.
I clocked up a few walking to perhaps the scariest thing of all on top deck, the Ultimate Abyss, which at 259ft (79m) is the longest dry slide at sea. My hands turned clammy and heart rate quickened just at the thought of giving it a go. How was it? Terrifying – it made me so dizzy that I struggled to stand up at the end.
Jo Kessel spends the weekend on Utopia of the Seas - the world's second-biggest cruise ship - and films the highlights
Jo's video starts on the top deck, where a lot of the action is. Here, there are five pools, a zip line, an aqua park, a surf simulator and more
On the left is Jo trying out the yellow water slide. And on the right, she gets ready to experience the Ultimate Abyss, which at 259ft (79m) is the longest dry slide at sea
Every cruise on Utopia will stop at Coco Cay, Royal Caribbean’s private island in the Bahamas
But if watery slides are more your thing, Utopia has you covered, with three adrenaline-fueled splashy rides – I give the yellow one a try.
My footage then moves indoors, first to the Solarium and then to a whole new style of accommodation named after it called the ‘Solarium Suite’. The panorama from here is exceptional, offering the exact same 270-degree view that the captain has from the bridge.
Like most other Royal Caribbean ships, Utopia has a boardwalk with a carousel and ‘Central Park’ – an al fresco internal garden with 12,000 plants.
But new to Utopia is a tiki bar called Pesky Parrot, which specialises in fruit-based cocktails and frozen drinks.
The ‘Painchiller’ is a great name for a cocktail and is one of its signature tipples, packed with Bacardi rum, pina colada mix and blood orange sour.
The 18-deck, 5,700-passenger Utopia 'is designed to deliver a party-style high-octane getaway'
The solarium pool onboard Utopia, which cost more than £1billion ($1.3billion) to build and is Royal Caribbean’s 28th vessel
Jo in the Solarium Suite, 'a whole new style of accommodation' that 'offers the exact same 270-degree view that the captain has from the bridge'
How does it taste? Fabulous and the bonus is that it cures all aches and pains! Also new is the Bell and Barley pub and Spare Tire, a food truck serving pulled pork sandwiches.
Innovation in entertainment is what Royal Caribbean does best. Like most other ships in the fleet, Utopia has an aqua theatre that stages daredevil dive shows.
But Utopia has gone one step further: it’s the only cruise ship in the world to have a train and a train station on board.
It’s called the Royal Railway and every ride comes with a meal. Mine was a Wild West journey with a themed dinner.
Utopia is the only cruise ship in the world to have a train and a train station on board. Pictured right is the conductor on Jo's Wild West-themed dining experience on the train
Jo's starter on the train was a plate of ‘Fart & Dart beans’, 'which looked funny on the menu but were actually delicious'
A 'hold-up' takes place during Jo's Wild West train ride
Utopia has an aqua theatre that stages daredevil dive shows
Starter was a plate of ‘Fart & Dart beans’, which looked funny on the menu but were actually delicious. Of course, it’s not a real train - that would be wilder than the Wild West - but the virtual reality ride did a very good job of feeling authentic, with sound effects, movements and all. There was even an in-carriage hold-up.
Every cruise on Utopia, be it the three or four-day voyage, will stop at Coco Cay, Royal Caribbean’s private island in the Bahamas.
And because all cruises are short and begin and end in Port Canaveral, Florida, it makes sense to spend a couple of days at nearby Orlando pre or post-cruise to extend your stay. That’s what I did, spending time at Universal’s theme parks before heading to Wekiwa Springs State Park where there are hiking trails and natural cool springs – this is a lovely, undiscovered spot that offers a refreshing alternative to Orlando’s roller coasters.
Back on board, Utopia songstress Meghan Trainor has been named the ship’s godmother, and the footage finishes by showing her performing an exclusive, celebratory concert, including the hit song ‘All about that Bass’.
And so, a whole new era of the ultimate weekend cruise is born.
Are three or four nights long enough to experience the whole ship? Absolutely not - you’ll have to come back another time for more.
Utopia will be offering three and four-night round-trip sailings departing Fridays and Mondays from Port Canaveral to the Bahamas. Further information: www.royalcaribbean.com and www.visitorlando.com/gb.
For more videos from Jo, visit her YouTube channel - www.youtube.com.