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BRYONY GORDON: I fear for my 11-year-old in a world so much less safe than it was for me at her age
The world is a less safe place for my daughter than it was for me growing up. This is not hyperbole — it is cold, hard fact, reflected in news this week that should disturb us all.
On Tuesday, the National Police Chiefs' Council published a harrowing report that said violence against women and girls was now at such 'staggering' levels it can be described only as a 'national emergency', posing as much of a threat to society as terrorism.
Take a moment and read that again: violence against women and girls is now a national emergency that poses as much of a threat to society as terrorism.
I don't know about you, but I saw these words, and I wondered why anyone would be talking about anything else.
Violence against women and girls is now a national emergency that poses as much of a threat to society as terrorism
According to the report, a fifth of all police-recorded crimes involve violence towards women and girls. Stalking, harassment, sexual assault and domestic violence affect one in 12 women in England and Wales, with the number of recorded offences growing by 37 per cent in the past five years.
'These are cautious estimates,' adds the report, 'we know much crime goes unreported, and in policing we often only see the tip of the iceberg.'
It's difficult to identify the most troubling element of this report, so packed as it is with statistics that make me want to weep: 3,000 crimes reported a day; two million victims each year; one in 20 adults in England and Wales perpetrating violence against women and girls.
But if I was going to pull one statistic out that truly upsets me, then it is the fact that the average age of a suspect of child sexual abuse and exploitation is just 15 (with the average age of victims being 13).
There is an epidemic of poor treatment of girls in our schools, and police chiefs believe it is the fault of unchecked online misogyny, peddled by the likes of influencer Andrew Tate
Sarah Everard was murdered by a serving officer in 2021. Wayne Couzens used his police badge to kidnap her
There is an epidemic of this behaviour in our schools, and police chiefs believe it is the fault of unchecked online misogyny, peddled by the likes of Andrew Tate (banned from Twitter in 2017 for saying women should bear some responsibility for being raped, but reinstated in Elon Musk's takeover and now boasting almost ten million followers, despite currently awaiting trial in Romania, having been charged with rape, sexual exploitation and human trafficking).
Tate is often held up as the King of Toxic Masculinity, but the so‑called 'manosphere' is full of blokes in fast cars describing women over 23 as 'leftovers' and calling for a return to a time when men played the 'dominant' role in relationships. Meanwhile, porn is more extreme, and more easily accessed, than ever.
Speaking about the report, Deputy Chief Constable Maggie Blyth said that everything was being compounded by a criminal justice system 'which at present is overwhelmed and under-performing for victims'.
The police themselves are hardly shining beacons here. On the same day the report was published, a panel found that Sergeant James Endean, an officer who acted as an 'ambassador' for women and girls at Thames Valley Police, wolf-whistled at female members of the public and bragged about his sexual prowess to colleagues.
And how can we forget Sarah Everard, murdered by a serving officer who used his police badge to kidnap her? Earlier this year, the official report found the police failings in this case were so severe that 'unless the processes for vetting and re-vetting are significantly improved, then there is a danger there may be another Wayne Couzens operating in plain sight'.
Olympic sex at home too!
Bryony Gordon with the Olympic Torch during her leg of the London 2012 Torch Relay
The start of the Olympics brings with it the usual stories about the number of condoms shipped in to the athlete's village (200,000 for the 14,250 competitors living together for two weeks). Organisers of the Paris games have also created 'anti-sex beds', made of cardboard.
I'd always wondered what the fuss was about … until I covered the London 2012 Olympics (and carried the torch) and realised how exciting it was to watch all the thrusting young athletes in action. Some nine months later, I got my own Olympic reward: a healthy, bouncing baby, conceived, I think, after watching swimmer Michael Phelps win gold in the individual medley!
That concerns me, but not as much as the idea of school kids so inured to online sex and violence that they are incapable of seeing the problem with it. When I was a young girl, my parents worried about stranger danger, and gave me vague instructions to hurry home safely from school and scream if I encountered mysterious figures in dark alleyways.
Today the problem is at school, and in the home, thanks to smartphones that allow children access to content my generation didn't see until we were at least in our 20s.
And the most worrying thing of all is that we seem to be rolling over, with barely a whimper. Why are we not doing more to protect our children from this, both girls and boys?
I've been thinking about this a lot recently, because my 11-year-old daughter starts secondary school in the autumn and inevitably conversations are turning to when she'll be allowed her first phone. Never, if I had my way, or not until she was at least 45, but sadly I live in south London and not Cloud Cuckoo Land.
She's one of the last children in her year to get a phone, and is suffering for it, but I believe this short-term pain is worth the long-term gain if it means I hold off exposing her to the Wild West of TikTok, YouTube and Snapchat.
In America, there are devices designed specifically for children's safety, such as Samsung's Bark Phone, which allows you to remove and add in apps and the internet depending on their age. But there's no UK equivalent, with parents forced to choose between so-called 'dumb phones' and smartphones that are essentially portable computers.
You can install parental controls, of course, but none of it is foolproof, and so it is that children are sucked into online worlds where misogyny and violence run rife, as we all sit downstairs watching Netflix.
Where is the fury? When do we march on the Government and social media giants and demand that something changes? What has to happen for people to take this seriously?
I'll say it again, just in case you missed it the first two times: violence against women and girls is now a national emergency that poses as much of a threat as terrorism. And if that doesn't make you sit up and take note, then it may well be you're part of the problem.
Confidence clinic
People seem shocked that Rebel Wilson has admitted she didn't have a proper relationship until she was in her 40s — but I applaud the actress for her refusal to hit 'milestones' at the usual moments. Remember: the only 'right' time to be married or single is the time that is right for you!
Elon Musk's been talking again about the 'woke mind virus' that's apparently infected the world's youth. As woke means 'staying alert to social injustice' I'm not so worried.
If the worst thing you can say about young people is they care too much about marginalised people, I think we're going to be OK.
V&A's Taylor triumph
Congratulations to the Victoria and Albert Museum for coming up with the best wheeze to get young people in.
The Taylor Swift Songbook Trail, a collection of the singer's most iconic dresses and items, opens at the Victoria and Albert Museum on Saturday
From tomorrow, visitors can experience the Taylor Swift Songbook Trail, a collection of the singer's most iconic dresses and items.
Brilliantly, the curators have scattered the items all over the museum, meaning Swifties will also have to look at the V&A's permanent collection, which includes works by Sir Joshua Reynolds and John Constable. Truly, something for the whole family.