What it's really like to have a very well-endowed partner: Women tell TRACEY COX how they 'dread' 'extremely uncomfortable' sex - but some insist its all about 'finding the right match'

Did all those Olympic bulges have you wishing your partner was better endowed?

Be careful what you wish for.

When I asked women what it's like dating or being married to a man with a large penis, the responses were mixed but the point was clear,  the average woman finds it daunting.

Before I share their personal experiences, it needs to be said that penis size isn't something men have any control over. The size also doesn't predict what sort of lover a man will be.

Consideration trumps size every time - as you are about to find out…

When Tracey Cox asked women what it's like dating or being married to a man with a large penis, the responses were mixed but the point was clear: it's daunting (stock image)

'I really like him but I'm ending the relationship. He's just too big. I dread sex with him.'

Karina, 41, has been dating her boyfriend for four months.

'Women always say, "Oh you lucky thing!" when I tell them my boyfriend's penis is really large. But it's so untrue! Women think they'd love a big penis but when it comes down to it, I'm not sure any of these women have ever experienced sex with a man who has one. They'd soon change their mind.

'My partner is around eight inches erect which is big, but it's the thickness of him that makes sex unbearable.

'He warned me his penis was large but when I first saw it, my eyes were like saucers. It wasn't even erect. My overwhelming feeling was panic not arousal.

'I really like him, but I am very close to ending the relationship because I dread sex with him. Our sex is so fraught! He's frightened of hurting me and he often loses his erection because he gets anxious. 

'We now avoid penetration a lot of the time because it's easier. Hand-jobs are the most stress-free. Oral sex is OK – I have a large mouth.

'He's good at giving me oral sex and I'd be happy if we stayed together and had sex this way. But he's not happy to kiss goodbye to intercourse. I don't blame him really, but it will mean he'll have to kiss goodbye to me because of it.'

Sex and relationships expert Tracey Cox (pictured) spoke to three women who have very different experiences of being with men with large penises 

'A lot of it is genetics. The trick is finding the right match for you.'

Sara is 32 and has been married for two years. This is her second marriage.

'My husband's penis is 9.5 inches long with a girth of 6.6 inches. He has large testicles, too. He says he's never had a woman see his penis and not be astonished. 

'He doesn't mean that as a boast: he's self-conscious rather than cocky (sorry, I couldn't resist). We had sex about four dates into our relationship, but I'd felt it through his jeans and was excited by the thought of having him inside me.

'I think a lot of it is genetics. Some men have big penises, some women have deep vaginas. The trick is finding each other. It helps that I have given birth, it definitely makes you bigger. 

'A baby comes out of your vagina so it's perfectly capable of accommodating a very large penis. You just have to be patient and have good relaxation skills.

For more comfortable sex, Tracey suggests getting your partner to penetrate slowly and stop each step of the way until your body gets used to him (stock image)

'He thought having a big one was all that mattered because he'd grown up with guys expressing envy whenever he peed in public.'

Aisha, 25, regrets dating her ex because sex was too painful.

'If there's one myth that's true about men with big penises, it's that they don't bother developing any other skills as a lover. The ones that are important to women – being able to bring us to orgasm using their fingers and/or tongue.

'My ex did the obligatory foreplay because he had to: there's no way I could accept him without him massaging me first. But it was blatantly obvious he expected the mere sight of his erect penis to be the turn on: the anticipation of having it inside me should have been enough. 

'He'd stand in front of me, one hand wrapped around it, waiting for me to admire it. He was quite a nice guy otherwise, but truly narcissistic when it came to his penis. 

'He'd grown up with guys expressing envy whenever he peed in public. Once he actually said, "Climb on board, baby!".

'At best intercourse was extremely uncomfortable, at worst agonising. It was so long, it hit my cervix which was incredibly painful. You can only do certain positions – missionary mainly, with your legs closed – because anything else is impossible to achieve or hurts too much.

If sex has been painful in the past, make sure you're fully aroused before attempting intercourse. The vagina needs time and expert stimulation to expand and lubricate (stock image)

'I'd beg him not to pound away because I'd tear and bleed but sometimes, he couldn't help it.

'It wasn't just intercourse that was difficult, oral sex was a nightmare. I have a small mouth and even if I opened it as wide as I can, I wasn't able to fit him inside. When I did – once only - I gagged. It was awful.

'We probably would have broken up anyway because we weren't particularly compatible but, believe me, I was mentally kicking my heels up with joy at the thought of never seeing that penis again.

'I am now with a man who is on the small side. It's fantastic. I enjoy giving him oral sex, intercourse is a pleasure and he's an attentive lover. I know penis size isn't anyone's fault but how you use that thing is in your control.'

Tracey's two product ranges – Tracey Cox Supersex and Edge – are available through Lovehoney. Find details of her books, podcast and blog on traceycox.com.