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Bitching is GOOD for you! Venting about your frustrations with one friend to another can make them like and treat you better, study finds

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It might feel naughty, but bitching about a pal can make other friends like you more, according to a study.

Experts have discovered that venting to a friend about another friend can be an effective competitive tool to gain their affections.

However, it's advised to go easy on the aggression – as being angry or belittling the 'target' friend can actually make you come across worse, they found.

Psychologists from the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) asked participants to listen to recordings of a fictional friend vent, gossip about or derogate a mutual friend who had cancelled on them last minute.

Participants were then asked to rate their feelings about the speaker and the target friend on an 11-point sliding scale.

It might feel naughty, but bitching about a pal can make other friends like you more, according to a study (stock image)

It might feel naughty, but bitching about a pal can make other friends like you more, according to a study (stock image)

Analysis revealed participants who heard the speaker vent about a friend cancelling on them liked the speaker better than the target.

However, this was not the case when speakers belittled the target or shared gossip.

In another experiment, venting actually backfired when researchers hinted the person venting was secretly rivals with the targeted friend.

In these instances, participants no longer liked that person better than the target.

The results show that venting makes the speaker more likable only when listeners do not perceive the speaker as having any aggressive intent toward the target, the researchers said.

Therefore, venting might be an effective competitive tool to gain a friend's affections, precisely because it is not recognised as a tool of competition.

Lead author Jaimie Krems said: 'We didn't have a good explanation for what venting does for us.

Experts have discovered that venting to a friend about another friend can be an effective competitive tool to gain their affections (stock image)

Experts have discovered that venting to a friend about another friend can be an effective competitive tool to gain their affections (stock image)

'So we tested a novel view – that under certain parameters, venting can make the people we vent to support us over the people we vent about.

'As much as people readily admit that we compete for romantic partners' finite time and affection, people seem less willing to admit to competing for friends.

'But if being relatively better liked means getting better support from friends, then we should expect some friend competition, whether or not we like that it exists.'

The benefits of being relatively better liked by one's friends can include being given preferential treatment, they added.

For example, having friends is linked to improved health, wellbeing and longevity.

Previous studies have suggested that women who gossip about others are driven by jealousy and low self-esteem.

Researchers discovered women were more likely to report higher levels of romantic jealously if a 'target' woman is deemed attractive.

This, in turn, was linked to higher chances of gossiping about it.'

The new findings were published in the journal Evolution and Human Behaviour.

DO MEN GOSSIP AS MUCH AS WOMEN?

A shocking recent study revealed that men gossip as much as women.

And far from behaving like gentlemen, they are more likely than their female counterparts to b**ch about workmates.

Researchers quizzed more than 2,200 people about their gossiping habits and found that males and females are equally likely to share tittle-tattle in the office. 

But while women tend to talk supportively about colleagues, men try to run rivals down.

The researchers suggested that gossip gave women a way to compete in a non-physically threatening manner, while for men it helped build their self-confidence.

The study, published in March and carried out by Ariel University in Israel, asked participants to imagine describing a person they had just met to a friend and analysed the responses.

The authors concluded: 'Our findings suggest women and men engage in the same amount of gossiping activity, undermining invidious common stereotypes.

'The results indicated a statistically significant difference between genders, confirming that women's gossip is encoded with more positivity than that of men.' 

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