What's it really like to be married to someone with a foot fetish? TRACEY COX speaks to people who lust after toes (and they insist it's no different to liking any other body part!)

You can see Lily Allen's (for a price) on OnlyFans and there isn't a woman over 30 who hasn't had a lover ask her to keep her heels on in bed.

Yet foot fetishes (podophilia) remain one of the most misunderstood fetishes – despite being one of the most common. Around five per cent of the population has some form of a foot fetish and one in seven people have had at least one foot-related fantasy.

As with most things people don't understand, myths abound.

Most people with foot fetishes are more interested in doing things to other people's feet, than having things done to theirs, for instance. The friend who's always angling for a foot massage probably doesn't have one – though the guy who instantly volunteers might well do.

Men are far more likely than women to have a foot fetish but women do have them. And it's not always about physical touch. Many people with foot fetishes are happy just looking at feet.

For some people, a significant experience involving feet during their formative years plants the seed for their fetish

What causes a foot fetish?

For some people, a significant experience involving feet during their formative years plants the seed for their fetish. 

One man told me his mother had a particularly attractive friend who wore high heels, when all the other women he'd met didn't. 

'I remember coming out of my bedroom when I'd first discovered masturbation – I must have been about eight - and seeing her heels balanced delicately on the rungs of a stool in the kitchen. The lingering post-sex arousal and the sexy shoes blended in some way. I'm certain that's where it all started.'

On a biological level, it's thought the part of the brain responsible for sexual arousal is located near the area that processes sensory information from the feet. The closeness could lead to a crossover, making feet a source of arousal.

It's also taboo – a guaranteed way to make something appealing!

Ever had someone suck your toes? I have and there's a definite erotic charge (though claims that there's a nerve in the big toe that directly links to the vulva aren't true). 

The eroticism comes more from having a body part that we associate with dirtiness sexually appreciated.

Others are drawn to feet because they're often hidden or partially hidden, making them seem mysterious and forbidden.

Seeing a friend's feet for the first time can be a curiously intimate experience, especially if they're quirky, revealing an unexpected vulnerability.

But what's sexy about feet?

While lots of us can appreciate a pedicured, good-looking foot, only a few find it a major turn-on. Those that do, though, find it can be just as (or more) intense than the average attraction to traditionally erotic body parts like breast, bottoms or genitals.

The arch of a well-shaped foot, the sensation of giving or receiving a foot massage, the idea of kissing, sucking or licking someone's feet…all are incredibly arousing to someone who worships them.

Different foot fetishists prefer different elements: clean feet, dirty feet, big feet, small feet, high arches, flat feet, feet with perfectly aligned toes, feet with wonky ones. Foot adornments are also arousing: shoes and stockings, ankle chains, toe rings, nail polish – even socks (including worn ones) – can be a turn-on for a foot fetishist.

Lots of men like women in a certain type of shoe – ones that show toe cleavage are particularly popular. (There's a reason why low-cut Louboutin's are so popular!)

As far as fetishes go, this one's pretty harmless. My feeling after researching and writing this, is that we could all be a bit less judgy and more viva la difference!

What it's like to have a foot fetish  

UK sex expert Tracey Cox writes that foot fetishes remain one of the most misunderstood fetishes - despite being one of the most common

'It's not some odd, creepy thing. It's simply appreciating a body part the way some men do breasts or bottoms.'

Chris, a 36-year-old lawyer, has had a foot fetish since he was a boy.

'Imagine you get as excited seeing bare feet as you do seeing a woman's breasts. That's what it's like for me. In summer, I'm walking around in a world full of topless women. Men are allowed to be "'breast men" and go wild when they see a good pair: that's OK. But if you get similarly excited about feet, you're weird.

'Whenever a foot fetish gets talked about, people either take the mickey or say, "Eww. Feet are dirty! That's disgusting!". (It's fine to lick genitals, where wee and blood comes out, but disgusting to lick feet? Go figure!) You learn early on to keep it secret.

'Women do have foot fetishes but they're few and far between. Some will indulge you by letting you suck their toes…but only once. Once is funny, the second time you're a pervert.

'We're a minority but there's no pride or T-shirts or people fighting our corner. (By the way, just because I'm into feet, doesn't mean I'm into YOUR feet. That's as stupid as guys who say they'll keep their back to the wall when they find out a guy is gay. Being gay doesn't make you lust after all men.)

'The happiest I've ever been was when I was 32 and with a woman who didn't just indulge my fetish, she loved it as much as I did. She had beautiful feet and loved me admiring them. I loved the smell of her feet when she'd been in heels and stockings all day. She'd let me massage them, kiss them, smell them or lick them. It was heaven. I was devastated when we broke up (nothing to do with the fetish, she moved for work).

'Regardless of what sexual act I'm doing, my focus is always on the woman's feet. If I can't see them or (preferably) touch them, sex isn't half as exciting. I do have sex without involving feet – I'd hardly ever have sex otherwise – but it's just way, way better for me when it does.

'I speak to a guy online about our fetish (we're reduced to doing stuff like this because no-one is open about it) and he says his most intense orgasm is when a woman puts her naked feet in his face and lets him lick her toes. No touching of the penis required.

'All my sexual fantasies involve feet. My current favourite involves me sitting next to a woman on a night train who is wearing high stiletto heels, us drinking, and her using her toes and feet to masturbate me and bring me to orgasm. Another involves me penetrating her with my toes.'

What it's like to have a partner with a foot fetish

Most people with foot fetishes are more interested in doing things to other people's feet, than having things done to theirs, for instance

'It can make you paranoid. Every time we meet up with friends, I check to see if anyone's wearing heels he'd find sexier than mine.'

Amanda is 26 and has been with Matt, her husband, for four years.

'Let's be honest here: of all the fetishes to have sprung on you, a foot fetish is one of the better ones.

'I wasn't completely surprised – Matt had always asked me to leave my heels on during sex. But then so had lots of other lovers, so I didn't read too much into it.

'Though when I think back now, one of first compliments Matt gave me was about the shoes I was wearing.

'We were about two months into the relationship when he dared me to put my stockinged foot on his crotch. He said it as a joke, but when I did it, I could tell by his face (and erection) that it was something he was very into. It's still one of his favourite ways to orgasm: me to use my foot (stockings on) to massage him until he climaxes.

'It's not a big deal for me. It's just his 'thing'. We all have a quirk or kink that does it for us. This is his. Is it really any different to a guy being obsessed with my breasts? It can be quite fun. The first time I let him explore my feet in a sexual way, it was a tremendous turn on. Watching anyone become really aroused is always a turn on. But I especially liked having a part of me that I'd never thought much about worshipped.

'He loves feeling my feet in public. He'll pretend to drop something so he can run his fingers along the top of my foot when I'm wearing heels. His fetish is for feet in heels, not barefoot, so I guess his fetish is more about the shoes than the feet.

'The trouble with a partner with a fetish for heels is that there are women in heels everywhere. When I first found out, I was paranoid. Every time we met up with friends, I'd look straight at the women's feet to see what my competition was and feel jealous if any of them had worn shoes he'd find sexier than mine.

'Friends have commented on how I never succumbed to the comfy trainers-with-everything thing. Of course I wear trainers and scruffy old slippers or go barefoot when I want to. But I take it as a compliment that my partner appreciates every inch of me.'

Visit traceycox.com for Tracey's books, blog, podcasts and product ranges (available exclusively from Lovehoney).