Psychologist says young men feel 'invisible' and 'disposable' in the modern dating scene

A dating guru has revealed men are feeling 'invisible' and 'disposable' as he warns singletons away from dating apps to find a partner. 

Dr Orion Taraban, from California, who specialises in relationships and personal development, spoke to Dragon Den's star Steven Bartlett on his Diary of a CEO podcast about common problems men and women are facing in the world of dating.

The psychologist claimed it's hard to be a young man because they feel 'disposable' in the modern dating landscape.

He said: 'The problem for the vast majority of men, especially young men, is their invisibility. Most men are wallpaper, and the world does not treat men very well when they want nothing from them.'

Taraban said people are 'rich in relationship opportunities' when they have something that other people want to benefit from whether it be a skill, money or good looks.

He explained: 'Imagine being an 18-year-old man. You have no money and you've never had money, you may not have a job, you may never have had a job, so you have no skills you're kind of invisible to women because you don't have yet anything that women might find conducive for a long-term relationship.

Dr Orion Taraban, from California, revealed men are feeling 'invisible' and 'disposable' and said people shouldn't rely on dating apps to find a partner

'If you're cute, they might hook up with you but if you're not even that, I mean, why waste their opportunity, why waste their time when there are other more attractive options available?

'And you're also kind of useless to most men because you don't yet have the skills and the experience to be a good team player.'

'It's actually very difficult to be a young man, you don't have what either women or more experienced men want or need, and you're generally very disposable and unfortunately we've seen that. Young men have a very high mortality rate.'

Tataban said people shouldn't rely on dating apps to find a partner because many online hook ups don't lead to long lasting relationships. 

He said: 'In the last 10 years the number of relationships that were initiated online increased by 250 percent, which is huge, 10 years ago about 20 percent of Americans met online now it's over 50 percent, the vast majority of couples are now meeting through social media or online dating sites and across that same time period we've we've seen a radical decrease in relationships.  

Elsewhere Taraban said men can try harder to become more attractive to women, because some women spend 'thousands on procedures' to boost their attractiveness. 

He said: 'I think men can dress better, they can take care of their physical fitness, for some men it is as basic as hygiene. It's also really important to know how to talk the most vulnerable organ to women's seduction is her mind.

'If you can learn how to talk to women in a way that she will listen and respond to you will be able to do all kinds of things and have all kinds of relationships. 

'It's a lot about vibing, feminine communication is very different to masculine communication.

Taraban spoke to Dragon Den's star Steven Bartlett (pictured) on his Diary of a CEO podcast about common problems men and women are facing in the world of dating

Tataban said people shouldn't rely on dating apps to find a partner because many online hook ups don't lead to long lasting relationships

'The less conventionally attractive that you are the more you have to learn seduction, the more you have to learn game.

'Sometimes it's just looking sharp, I mean by far one of the best things that men can do is just spend one or two thousand bucks to get like two or three really good outfits, you can just cycle through them when you're dating.

'If you're the best dressed man in the room you get like one free point, can you imagine some women have to spend tens of thousands of dollars on cosmetic surgery to get one extra point, yet some men just need to put some clothes on and get a better haircut, and they refuse to do that for whatever reason.'

However he claimed women are finding it hard to find a lifelong partner and a man that they want to marry.  

He said: 'The main problem that I see women encountering, at least in my consultative practice, is they have trouble finding the men that they want to have long-term relationships with.

'Almost every consultation I've done with a woman has been around how do I get a man to marry me.

'And that's also kind of strange because I would think 80 to 100 years ago that was something that girl was being prepared for since she was a very young person by her mother and her grandmother and her aunts and her female relatives and she never would have gotten to the age of 30 where this would be an open question still.'

Meanwhile Taraban revealed that absence can be a recipe for better sex and better relationships over all. 

He said: 'It's really hard to just be in each other's space all the time. Even in the 50s, which is kind of romanticised as the the paragon of conservative traditional marriage, that was the time when the man was a traveling salesman and he was on the road for 200 days out of the year.

'It's even harder to do that with the advent of cellular technology, it's like being physically absent doesn't matter if the whole time you're there I know where you are at all times because I've put a tracking thing on your phone and I'm constantly communicating with you throughout the day, like now there's no uncertainty, there's no mystery, there's no unknown, so when we get back together what do we have to talk about?

'I'm not interested in you, because I believe you're an entirely known entity, you need to have something that I don't know yet, to attract my interest and curiosity which is the spark that eventually potentially leads to passion and sexual intimacy.'