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My boyfriend gives me the silent treatment whenever I want him to meet up with my family - people say he is abusive and I should run
A women revealed her 48-year-old partner refuses to meet up with her family and 'sulks' when she asks him to come along.
Taking to British parenting platform Mumsnet, the woman explained her boyfriend is currently 'in the shed sulking' because they were invited to her mother's birthday lunch.
She revealed that he 'gets pi**** off, kicks up a fuss, and gives me the silent treatment' in the lead up to every family gathering.
People rushed to the comments to give their advice, with many saying that he sounds 'abusive' and she should leave him.
The post read: 'Boyfriend rejects my family. My mum has invited my bf and me for lunch. It's casual and at a cafe. We've been together three years.
A women revealed on Mumsnet that her 48-year-old partner refuses to meet up with her family and 'sulks' when she asks him to (stock image)
'He doesn't want to go. This happens every time we go to see any member of my family or any of my friends. He gets pi**** off, kicks up a fuss, and gives me the silent treatment in the lead up.
'At the event, he's usually polite but not very engaged and then he will give me the silent treatment. Then we have an argument about it.
'He says he hates having to conform expectations put on him by others like playing the role of a boyfriend. He's 48 and is starting to play a more involved role in my four year old's life who he adores.
'He is committed to us but this aversion to my family is really making me angry and upset.
'I've tried to understand but I find it very rude that he won't give my family a chance. They are interesting and kind people who invite him to things to try and include him. We are going tomorrow and he's currently sulking in the shed.'
Many suggested the man was trying to isolate her from her family and friends and claimed he was being 'abusive'.
One person said: 'He's 48 and acting like a rude 14 year old. How unattractive.'
Another added: 'Red flag, he's trying to isolate you, the silent treatment is abusive. I'd throw this one back.'
Taking to the British parenting platform, the woman explained her boyfriend is currently 'in the shed sulking' because they were invited to her mother's casual birthday lunch
People rushed to the comments to give their advice, with many saying that he sounds 'abusive' and she should leave him
Someone else added: He gives you the silent treatment? Sulks in the shed? That's manipulative behaviour at best. Give him the boot. He is trying to isolate you from your family.'
Meanwhile another added: 'You do realise he's trying to isolate you op? Next he'll be on about your friends. Then when he has you all alone he'll start raising his fists. Seen it a million times. Story as old as time. Run from this man and fast.'
However others disagreed with some saying he shouldn't be forced to meet her family if he doesn't want to meet them.
One person said: 'I don't think he's unreasonable for not wanting to meet with your family or friends. He has the choice to meet who he wants. However, the way he is going about it (the silent treatment, etc) isn't acceptable.
'You have to think whether integration with your family is something that is absolutely required in your relationship, and make a decision based on that. You cannot force him to be happy meeting with people that he doesn't want to meet.
Many suggested the man was trying to isolate her from her family and friends and claimed he was being 'abusive'
'Based on what you said, I don't agree with PP that he is trying to isolate you from your family by having an aversion to meeting them himself, unless he is specifically trying to stop you and your daughter from seeing them.'
Another said: 'I think he is entitled to not go, especially if he has previously met them and it's not his thing but he is being very unreasonable to sulk about you going; I would actually say that is controlling behaviour!'
Someone else wrote: 'Does he have to come along? Could you just see your family without him? You don't live together or have a super involved relationship so I'd just not push any meetings.
'If that is a deal breaker for you then he's not the right guy. You either need to be ok with him having no relationship with your family or he needs to be ok having one. What's not ok is him sulking and getting angry and resentful about seeing them.'
Another added: 'I feel bad for him. Sulking isn't comfortable but neither is being forced into happy family situations when you had a sh** childhood and have massive, protective walls up.
The women added: 'He says he hates making polite conversation and feels like he's being interviewed/assessed'
'He wants a relationship with you where you keep your lives separate. I think that's reasonable for a grown adult. We know what we want and what we don't want by this age.'
The women added: 'He says he hates making polite conversation and feels like he's being interviewed/assessed.
'My family are very accepting and they really are nice people so I think the problem is with his perception rather than anything my mum or anyone else is saying/doing.
'He had a bad childhood and doesn't keep in touch with his own family which I think is significant.
'I can understand all these things but agree that the difficult part is his reaction. The sulking and silent treatment are not helpful and just make me angry. I'm getting fed up of feeling like I'm dragging him out against his will.'