DEAR JANE: I'm a 26-year-old virgin and my mother has offered to pay a prostitute to have sex with me... do I accept?

Dear Jane,

I've tried to search online but haven't been able to find anyone else in a similar situation... so I'm hoping you can help.

I'm a 26-year-old guy, I have a job and a good number of friends, but I still live with my parents so that I can save some money.

All quite normal except... I'm a virgin.

As a teenager I had a few 'girlfriends' but we never went beyond kissing. As I got older, something always seemed to get in the way.

It's not that I'm not interested in sex, quite the opposite. But I'm shy and, whenever we've been out at bars and clubs, my more typically 'macho' friends have always seemed to sweep in and get the girls.

It's meant that I haven't had much practice over the years – and, amid a busy work schedule and other stresses, it feels like I've blinked and suddenly I'm fast approaching 30!

I'm a 26-year-old virgin and my mother has offered to pay for me to have sex... do I accept? 

Of course, I can't talk to my friends about it. The older I get, the more embarrassing it is that I haven't had sex.

It also means I've stopped trying to date: I'm terrified that if I met a girl I really liked, I wouldn't know how to please her.

Some of my friends have even started talking about marriage – and, to be honest, I'd sort of resigned myself to the fact sex probably won't be a part of my future.

That was until last week. You see, my mother and I are particularly close. I consider her a friend and she knows that I've never been with someone.

The other day, out of the blue, she raised the topic and asked if it was troubling me. I confessed I would like to try sex but that I don't know how to find the right person – someone who I could be vulnerable with.

Then she shocked me. She said that, if I was so worried about it, she could pay someone to spend the night with me. My birthday is coming up and she said it could be an 'early gift'!

I thought she was joking. But she was serious. She said she could definitely help find someone if it would make me happy.

I'm really conflicted. On the one hand I'm desperate to do it. But would the whole thing leave me feeling dirty?

I want to get it over and done with, but this feels like a weird way.

Do I accept her offer, or continue as a resigned celibate and accept sex is not for me?

From,

Confused Virgin

Dear Confused Virgin,

I'm so glad you have written to me and that you have been brave enough to share your situation, which is not nearly as uncommon as you might think.

International best-selling author Jane Green offers sage advice on readers' most burning issues in her agony aunt column

However, while I don't blame your mother for trying to help, I'm afraid I don't feel very good about this suggestion coming from her or, indeed, that your mother has anything to do with your sex life.

As lovely as it is that you consider her a close friend, there really ought to be some boundaries and topics that you leave untouched.

You wonder if paying for sex will leave you feeling dirty and say the suggestion feels weird – but perhaps your mother's involvement may be contributing to that.

While it may not be a popular view, I believe – in an environment that is safe for all parties – sex work can be a positive thing, and seems an excellent idea in this scenario.

If you think it will give you the confidence to then go out into the world and start forging relationships on your own, then it seems you already know what you want to do.

But your mother does not need to be part of this decision. You can find all the necessary information online, and I urge you to start building a life away from home, so that you have other friends to turn to when intimate issues arise in the future.